Tag: blago

Blagojevich Sets Up Table At Chicago Comic-Con, Charges $50 For Autographs

Next time you go to a Comic Con, make sure you bring your wallet, as it will be $80 to take a photo with this former Illinois governor and $50 to get his autograph. While touring the floor, Blagojevich...

BLAGOJEVICH GUILTY ON ONE COUNT, AND IT'S NOT FOR BRIBING ANYTHING: Popular reality-show contestant Rod Blagojevich has been found guilty of only one of the 24 charges against him, making a false statement or representation to the FBI. The...

Blagojevich Jury Deadlocked On 22 of 24 Counts

America's Governor, Rod Blagojevich, cannot be convicted of anything because he's too sexy. This is why the jury just told the judge, "Uhhh," as they can't decide on ANYTHING, and are permanently, hopelessly deadlocked on 22 of the 24...

Listen To All Your Favorite Rod Blagojevich iTunes!

As part of his corruption trial, professional entertainer Rod Blagojevich has been appearing at Chicago's Federal Courthouse Bar & Lounge all month to revisit some of his greatest recordings -- including "I've Got This Thing, and It's Fucking Golden,"...

Blagojevich Spends His ‘Trial Eve’ Making Playtime

It's an important day in world history: the kick-off of Rod Blagojevich's Effing Golden, Parachute-Me-There Courtroom Circus Spectacular. So how does one go about mentally preparing for the stress of facing 24 federal criminal counts? Maybe a nice jog...

Reporter Lady In Kerfuffle With Blagojevich, At Disneyworld

Wacky whore & fraud Rod Blagojevich, who was indicted on 16 counts of epic corruption in Chicago yesterday, is currently on vacation at the Florida amusement park Walt Disney World. Oh, and he is with his family. Some local...

Blago’s Book Sure To Be Bestseller

There is only one way we're buying Rod Blagojevich's sure-to-be-shitty "inside story" about how he's an "incompetent crook" and "washed-up circus clown" -- and that's if Chicago's Lauri Apple actually provides the cover art. And the "book" is not...

Rod Blagojevich Finally Gets Consolation Prize

Forgotten hairball Rod Blagojevich thought he could finally cash in big with Barack Obama's Senate seat, but that didn't work out too well. Then Rod went on every talk show and cable-news program to jabber hysterical bullshit, and that...

Blago’s Head Attorney Quits, Because Client Is Insane

Attorney Edward Genson has abruptly quit his role leading the Gov. Blago defense team two days before the idiot's impeachment trial begins in the Illinois Senate. Instead of listing the standard "personal reasons" or a professional conflict of interest,...

Blago: Patrick Fitzgerald Is A Jap

How AP writer Michael Tarm resisted the urge to end this headline in " -- no, but seriously, we're not even joking," we'll never know.

Roland Burris Adds New Honor To His Tomb

Rod Blagojevich for the win! The comedy continues, as smirking creep Dick Cheney swears in megalomaniacal Death Monument-builder Roland Burris. This marks the end of racism and the Triumph of the Black Spirit.

RACISTS IMPEACH BLAGO: "SPRINGFIELD---In a historic vote, the Illinois House has impeached Gov. Rod Blagojevich, directing the Senate to put the state's 40th chief executive on trial with the goal of removing him from office. The vote by the...

Blago’s Press Conference Almost As Funny As Rick Sanchez’s Twitter Updates

Here's CNN's coverage of the wacky Kipling-inspired Blago press conference, in which the governor of Illinois is on cocaine, lots and lots of cocaine. And for those of you who didn't understand our constant exclamations about Rick Sanchez's Twitter...

Jesse Jackson Jr.’s Been Snitching On Blagojevich For YEARS (Maybe!)

So Blagojevich tried to shake down Jesse Junior for $25K years ago, and Jesse was all, "I don't think so," and then Blaggy somehow made Mrs. Jesse Jackson Junior not get some sweet job, and then he was all,...

K-Lo: Blago’s Corruption Stems From His Liberal ‘Pro-Choice’ Position

We already knew that National Review Online editor and former secretary Kathryn Jean Lopez was proud of America when the Blagojevich scandal broke because (a) it was simple enough for her to understand and (b) it didn't involve queers....

Rod Blagojevich’s Terrible Hair Found Guilty of Everything

Here's some courtroom sketch of that Blaggy guy, Illinois mafioso Rod Blagojevich, suffering under the burden of this incredible hair monster. Here's a quick tip for voters on the lookout for "clean" candidates: If they have hair like this,...