Wonkette

First they came for our jobs. Then they came for our jobs again. They came for our jobs several times after this. But now the Mexicans are coming for our White House BlackBerries. At a meeting of Canadian, Mexican and U.S. officials this week, a Mexican aide “pocketed” several BlackBerries belonging to the U.S. delegation. Two questions: (1) How did this aide illegally get into the country in the first place? (2) Why didn’t we elect Mitt Romney to stop this illegal behavior? MORE »

All of Washington is crippled today, and everyone from the lowliest think tank interns to the mightiest Senators are weeping bitter tears of frustration: it’s the day the BlackBerrys went silent. MORE »

From yet another piece on CrackBerry addiction (new angle: it makes you a bad parent!) comes this bit of famous family fun: MORE »

* Newly crowned Miss Virginia lives in Arlington. Judges praised her “full set of teeth,” putting her far ahead of the other contestants. [Metroblogging DC] MORE »

This is a lesson in why a) politicans shouldn’t carry Blackberries when angry/drunk, b) politicians shouldn’t have the email address of journalists programmed into said Blackberries, or c) politicians should be better at hiding their massive corruption. Bob Ney, drunk dialer:

In two rambling e-mails sent from his Blackberry device to Copley News Service reporter Paul Krawzak, the Republican congressman from Ohio ridiculed the veteran reporter, challenging his ethics and mocking the 5-foot-7-inch Krawzak as “big man.”

Ok, we’d really like to get our hands on the full emails. We must say we admire Ney for not handing off his manhood-questioning to a subordinate. That’s dedication to his constituents. More excerpts from his creatively-punctuated and spelled missive, after the jump.

Update: Ney was not drunk. Response from his office, also after the jump.

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* Duke Cunningham gets the longest sentence ever given to a congressman: 8 years and 4 months. MORE »

$612 million later, RIM settles with NTP, Blackberries are saved, everyone in DC rejoices: MORE »

* Not able to attend last week’s big Denmark solidarity rally here in Washington, led by the redoubtable Christopher Hitchens? Our comprehensive coverage — featuring the fantastic photos of Wonkette paparazza Liz Gorman, Intrepid Girl Reporter — is available here and here. MORE »

DON’T PANIC. YOU GET TO KEEP USING YOUR BLACKBERRIES FOR LIKE ANOTHER MONTH AT LEAST. MORE »