Tag Archives: black people

  flotus files

FLOTUS Less Popular Among White Ladies With Poor Self-Esteem

Women in this country are under a tremendous amount of pressure right now, with scaly old men going out of their way and then some to make sure there is absolutely nothing left in place to prevent their personal “30 Kids and Counting” fantasies from coming true. They are still working on the part where they have to find actual women to do the sexing with them, but in good time, because apparently we are not only a nation of rampant obesity, but also widespread low self-esteem. Well, there is low self-esteem among white people – white women, to be exact, according to a Washington Post Survey which found that “67 percent of black women describe themselves as having high self-esteem, compared with 43 percent of white women.” This same survey also asked women to describe their feelings toward Michelle Obama, to which white women replied, “I do not care for her Bermuda shorts.” Read more on FLOTUS Less Popular Among White Ladies With Poor Self-Esteem…
  macaroni & cheese

Pat Robertson Mystified By Strange African-American Thanksgiving Ritual

The Pat Robertson teevee show has been desegregated, apparently by force, and now allows a Negress interviewer to interview “her kind” (Condoleezza Rice). What are the mysterious black people up to, this Thanksgiving? The hip-hop? Smokin’ crack? Crunking? Voodoo? Hankering for the Original Constitution days when they were slaves? No, worse. They are eating bizarre food dishes and claiming it’s part of American Thanksgiving. Pat Robertson is aghast. Read more on Pat Robertson Mystified By Strange African-American Thanksgiving Ritual…
  herman cain's math magick

Herman Cain: Blacks ‘Brainwashed,’ Can’t ‘Think For Themselves’

Token black GOP presidential candidate Herman Cain knows a thing or two about hiring low-wage workers to carry around his company’s shitty pizzas, and that’s why he’s quite sure black people in America are “brainwashed” and can’t “think for themselves.” But this is changing, according to Herman Cain’s math (the Chilean model?), which goes like this: “Two thirds of them,” the blacks, are “brainwashed.” This is what Herman Cain told Wolf Blitzer on the teevee news show. But, because of Herman Cain’s math magic, “the good news is I happen to believe that a third to 50 percent of the black Americans in this country, they are open-minded.” So, some of the brainwashed are also open-minded — about 17% of the brainwashed blacks, according to conventional fractions. If Herman Cain can turn the 17% of open-minded brainwashed blacks into, say, Republicans, then he’s got this all lined up. In his mind … which is open, we imagine. Read more on Herman Cain: Blacks ‘Brainwashed,’ Can’t ‘Think For Themselves’…
  the long hot summer

Matt Drudge Very Concerned By ‘Urban Chaos’ and ‘Urban Youth’

It turns out that daily catastrophic tornadoes are not the only problem faced by America’s cities these days. Traditionally at the bottom of America’s socioeconomic system since being brought here in chains at the bottom of slave slips, black people seem to once again be having a very hard time of it during the Great Recession, and that has perhaps led to waves of “street protests” or “flash mobs” or “race riots” or “urban chaos” from Boston to Long Island to Washington to Charlotte to Miami. Or maybe some kids got drunk and obnoxious in a couple of places, as all kids tend to do. The troubles started over Memorial Day Weekend, which is legally supposed to be about honoring those Americans killed in America’s constant overseas wars but also marks the beginning of the summer. And summertime is when the rioting is easy. Read more on Matt Drudge Very Concerned By ‘Urban Chaos’ and ‘Urban Youth’…
  pizza pizza!

Pizza Man Herman Cain Now GOP’s Favorite Candidate

Republicans are having a very hard time rallying around a potential or real candidate for 2012. They finally realized the following facts this year: Sarah Palin is a widely hated sleazeball crybaby, Donald Trump is an idiot racist crybaby, Mike Huckabee is a pleasantly dumb weekend cable host, that one Mexican governor somewhere is a dope fiend with the hippies, Rick Santorum continues to be stupid and corrupt even by wingnut standards, Michele Bachmann is utterly unknown within her own party and laughed at by the few who’ve heard her misspelled name, Newt Gingrich is still a detestable cretin, Mitt Romney is an anti-Christian Obamacare liberal freakazoid from Taxachusetts, and there’s still no evidence Tim Pawlenty exists. As in many lost-cause campaigns of the past, the Republicans have returned to their classic Hail Mary pass of the 21st Century: Is there some black guy around somewhere who says he’s Republican? Read more on Pizza Man Herman Cain Now GOP’s Favorite Candidate…
  flotus files

Michelle Obama Guilty of Letting Black People Visit White House

White America is very concerned about what is happening to the White House these days — key word here being, of course, “white.” Michelle Obama has recently been seen in public doing urban dances, and even invited some sort of gang member to the White House for a poetry reading/cop-killing brainstorming party. Many Americans are under the impression that at this rate, Tyler Perry will soon have an office in the West Wing to share with the Black Panthers, or the Crips. They are all the same thing, right? What exactly is Michelle up to? Read more on Michelle Obama Guilty of Letting Black People Visit White House…
  so good at winning these tasks

Donald Trump: ‘I’ve Always Had a Great Relationship With the Blacks’

At the rate Donald Trump is scooping up key parts of the Republican base the real candidates are too afraid to be seen courting, his fake candidacy will have officially have won the real campaign in only a week or two. Who’s he going after now? Racists. “I have a great relationship with the blacks. I’ve always had a great relationship with the blacks. But unfortunately, it seems that, you know, the numbers you cite are very, very frightening numbers,” he told a radio interviewer when asked about Obama’s support among African Americans. He loses points for saying he has a “good relationship” with “the blacks,” but he definitely makes up for it by using the term “the blacks” and saying they only support Obama because he’s black. Read more on Donald Trump: ‘I’ve Always Had a Great Relationship With the Blacks’…
  the solution to your problems is more unwed teenage pregnancies

Pro-Life Group’s New Billboard Tells Black People To Stop Aborting Obama

Life Always is expected to unveil billboards featuring Obama’s face and the words “Every 21 minutes, our next possible leader is aborted” on Tuesday at 11 a.m. The first billboard will be near an empty lot at 5812 S. State Street, according to a press release from Life Always. Read more on Pro-Life Group’s New Billboard Tells Black People To Stop Aborting Obama…
  dinosaurs and also ancient reptiles

Newt Gingrich Bragging On Twitter About Dinosaur Skull He Owned

Hey, it’s everyone’s favorite adulterous grifter, on the Twitter. What is Newt up to these days? “Great visit to the academy of natural sciences in philadelphia today-love the dinosaurs and the historic collection,” he wrote Tuesday. When some librul jokester tweeted back, “Come on, you don’t really believe in dinosaurs,” Newt responded with the tweet above. Is it legal to keep a dinosaur’s skull in your office? Probably not. But if Newt does it, it is. And then Newt tweeted “@OneTokenBlack” for no apparent reason. Read more on Newt Gingrich Bragging On Twitter About Dinosaur Skull He Owned…
  rick's list

Future Prez Santorum: Obama Can’t Make Decision Because He’s Black

Rick Santorum seems very excited to lose the Iowa Caucuses in a landslide, doesn’t he? He’s got that fighting spirit back, and he’s not afraid to take on black people for supporting abortion rights. Black people, right? Who are they to say what’s a person and what isn’t? Sounds like a good campaign slogan. Read more on Future Prez Santorum: Obama Can’t Make Decision Because He’s Black…
  breasts in the news

WaPo Newsroom Upset Because Black Lady With Boobs Hosts WaPo Webcast

America’s strangest joke of a newspaper is the Washington Post, an Onion-style bland suburban daily that seems to shrink deeper into itself each morning. With a news section full of utterly random paragraph-sized chunks from yesterday’s washingtonpost.com and a bizarre op-ed section featuring press releases submitted by the offices of politicians and the confused yammerings of senile embarrassments like Richard Cohen, the paper appears to be nothing less than an elaborate satire of Washington’s dull insularity and tunnel vision. But, according to accountants, it’s actually a very real cash drain on the Kaplan for-profit education scam company that owns the WaPo. So we are also subjected to endless humiliating attempts to make the paper “relevant” or “for the YouTube,” and the most recent effort goes where the Washington Post has rarely ventured before: to the black part of town — the black part of town with boobs, in fact. Read more on WaPo Newsroom Upset Because Black Lady With Boobs Hosts WaPo Webcast…
  more fun than cow tipping

Everyday America: Woman Hears Urban Music, Assumes Husband Is Hostage

They always go after the rural middle-school teachers. In the popular vernacular, it was a butt dial, the bane of many a chagrined cell phone user. This time, it led to a frantic 911 call from a wife. Soon, more than 30 gun-toting officers converged on Carleton Washburne School, which also houses the District 36 offices where the man works. Read more on Everyday America: Woman Hears Urban Music, Assumes Husband Is Hostage…
  knights of caucasia

Fox News Sets Up Voter Intimidation Tip Line To Protect You From Blacks

For years, ACORN and the New Black Panthers have stood outside polling stations to intimidate US. Why would a good (white) citizen even try to go into such a place? Obviously, they would be murdered on the spot. And yes, although democracy is worth dying for, it’s not worth dying and MISSING A WHOLE SEASON OF NCIS or Ghost Whisperer or whatever the old people watch on their CBS. Thankfully, Fox News is rescuing us from these scary dark-skinned people, by setting up an e-mail tip line of their own so that you can fire up the AOL and alert them that a real, live black person has been spotted in your hamlet this election day. Read more on Fox News Sets Up Voter Intimidation Tip Line To Protect You From Blacks…
  chocolate city

Teabagger Who Warned of DC Black People Celebrates Black Kid’s Death

What do you do when a young black man you don’t even know dies in a hail of gang-related gunfire? To be honest, I don’t do much but briefly consider the crushing absurdity of violence before getting on with my day. I’m not a particularly religious man, but you might say a little prayer for the deceased, which is fine too! What nobody should ever do is use the young man’s life and death to make some cheap point about how black people really are dangerous thugs. You know who does that? Scummy Tea Party idiots from our recent history. Read more on Teabagger Who Warned of DC Black People Celebrates Black Kid’s Death…
  modern major generals

American Army Hero Tired Of Obama’s 24/7 Racism and Flag Burning

There are so few heroes for the young people to look up to these days, what with Lindsay Lohan serving time and more and more Republicans opting for sex scandals involving consensual, heterosexual intercourse and so forth. So who should your children admire? They should admire Major General Jerry R. Curry, the army-man who knows that Barack Obama is black, but note quite black enough. The army-man who is fed up with Barack Obama’s race-baiting, his muslim faith and his non-existent support for the troops. The army-man whose name was selected from a hat to pen this week’s “Real America Will Never Ever Trust Barry Hussein” column for Human Events. Read more on American Army Hero Tired Of Obama’s 24/7 Racism and Flag Burning…