black people
Pat Robertson Mystified By Strange African-American Thanksgiving Ritual
The Pat Robertson teevee show has been desegregated, apparently by force, and now allows a Negress interviewer to interview “her kind” (Condoleezza Rice). What are the mysterious black people up to, this Thanksgiving? The hip-hop? Smokin’ crack? Crunking? Voodoo? Hankering for the Original Constitution days when they were slaves? No, worse. They are eating bizarre [...]
Herman Cain: Blacks ‘Brainwashed,’ Can’t ‘Think For Themselves’
Token black GOP presidential candidate Herman Cain knows a thing or two about hiring low-wage workers to carry around his company’s shitty pizzas, and that’s why he’s quite sure black people in America are “brainwashed” and can’t “think for themselves.” But this is changing, according to Herman Cain’s math (the Chilean model?), which goes like [...]
Pizza Man Herman Cain Now GOP’s Favorite Candidate
Republicans are having a very hard time rallying around a potential or real candidate for 2012. They finally realized the following facts this year: Sarah Palin is a widely hated sleazeball crybaby, Donald Trump is an idiot racist crybaby, Mike Huckabee is a pleasantly dumb weekend cable host, that one Mexican governor somewhere is a [...]
Michelle Obama Guilty of Letting Black People Visit White House
White America is very concerned about what is happening to the White House these days — key word here being, of course, “white.” Michelle Obama has recently been seen in public doing urban dances, and even invited some sort of gang member to the White House for a poetry reading/cop-killing brainstorming party. Many Americans are [...]
George Allen Keeps Asking Black Reporter What ‘Position’ He ‘Played’
Oh for fuck’s sake. Does George Allen think the problem with his last Senate race is he didn’t say “Macaca” enough? Well, he’s starting early this time!
Newt Gingrich Bragging On Twitter About Dinosaur Skull He Owned
Hey, it’s everyone’s favorite adulterous grifter, on the Twitter. What is Newt up to these days? “Great visit to the academy of natural sciences in philadelphia today-love the dinosaurs and the historic collection,” he wrote Tuesday. When some librul jokester tweeted back, “Come on, you don’t really believe in dinosaurs,” Newt responded with the tweet [...]
Everyday America: Woman Hears Urban Music, Assumes Husband Is Hostage
They always go after the rural middle-school teachers. In the popular vernacular, it was a butt dial, the bane of many a chagrined cell phone user. This time, it led to a frantic 911 call from a wife. Soon, more than 30 gun-toting officers converged on Carleton Washburne School, which also houses the District 36 [...]
Fox News Sets Up Voter Intimidation Tip Line To Protect You From Blacks
For years, ACORN and the New Black Panthers have stood outside polling stations to intimidate US. Why would a good (white) citizen even try to go into such a place? Obviously, they would be murdered on the spot. And yes, although democracy is worth dying for, it’s not worth dying and MISSING A WHOLE SEASON [...]
Teabagger Who Warned of DC Black People Celebrates Black Kid’s Death
What do you do when a young black man you don’t even know dies in a hail of gang-related gunfire? To be honest, I don’t do much but briefly consider the crushing absurdity of violence before getting on with my day. I’m not a particularly religious man, but you might say a little prayer for [...]
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