Tag: black people

Wonkagenda: Tuesday, August 23, 2016

You get in here and read your news brief, RIGHT NOW!

Let’s All Self-Soothe With These Nice Videos Of Hillary And Bernie Hardly Yelling At All!

Hello, Wonkers, did you enjoy last night's Brooklyn production of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, but more stabby? US TOO! We were going to write a follow-up today about how Bernie really does need to release his taxes -- Donald...

Bundys, Beyoncé And Rick Snyder’s Wife’s Birthday Cake. Your Weekly Top Ten.

Well hi there and good Saturday morning to you, Wonkers! Many newses happened this week, so it's good that you're here for us to catch up together! Haha just kidding, we are not together, because WE WROTE THESE DAMN...

Maryland Rep Opposes DC Statehood Because Of All These Facts He Just Made Up

You know what would be a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad thing for the country? If Washington DC, the only part of the continental United States that currently gets no actual say in the legislative branch of government, got full...
LINE UP, BOYS!

Which Republican Candidate Can Lick That Kentucky Clerk Lady’s Knob Best?

Kentucky county clerk Kim Davis, she is the "it" topic in our political conversation right now! Is she a dumb hick lady who thinks her loving God will roast her in hell for all eterntity, on a pyre made...
So brave, so bold

Rand Paul Bravely Talks To Black People

Guess this counts as one of the exciting new Ideas! from the Republican Party. Black people: They're people too! After meeting with NAACP leaders in Ferguson, Missouri, Sen. Rand Paul told CNN's Wolf Blitzer that the Republicans Party's biggest mistake...

How Many Lies Did Bill O’Reilly Just Put Into His Own On-Air Correction?

So there has been a late August GOP whineathon about how liberals were co-opting noted Republican Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. by pretending he was some sort of liberal like them, when everyone knows Martin Luther King believed in...

What Was Your Favorite Part Of Rand Paul’s ‘History Of Democrat Racism’ At Historically Black Howard University?

Today, Senator Rand Paul liked himself a lot when he was either "brave" or "crazy" enough to venture into the Heart of Blackness that is historically black Howard University and lay down some TRUTH like that Republicans have always...

Genius Gun Guy Wishes Django Unchained Were Real

Welcome to Wonkette. Whether you're just joining us or are a long-time fan, you're probably noticing that we have to cover gun violence and general gun stupidity ALL THE TIME NOW. So that's fun. Actually, that is not fun....

Obama Terrorist-Fist-Jabs Innocent Old Lady

Will the outrages never stop? Screw you, old lady who met Jay Z. Annie Glenn, is married to A ASTRONAUT (Mike Dexter John Glenn) (who is apparently still alive, great job, John Glenn!), is the coolest old lady in...

Intrepid Reporter Matthew Boyle To Write About Thuggy Black People For Ghost Andrew Breitbart

The first time we came across the work of cub reporter Matthew Boyle, he was calling for Minority Report precogs to watch over the DC Metro (Tube?) and possibly secretly installing Nannycams in Foggy Bottom Starbucks restrooms. But our...

Classy Wrasslin’ Two-Time-Loser Lady Linda McMahon Stiffs Staff, Invites It To Screw Itself

Hmmm, it looks like your Wonkette didn't bother to write even the littlest thing about two-time-Senate-loser and Wrasslin' Lady Linda McMahon this time around, probably because we had used up all our folding-chair jokes the first time around, and...

Maine GOP Chair: I See Black People

DId you know only about 1 percent of Mainers are of the African American variety of American? Did you know that adds up (every little bit counts!) to about 15,000 or so black Mainers? Well Maine GOP chair Charlie...

Mitt Romney Drops By To Make Sure You Still Loathe Him

Mitt Romney was lonely. A week after the election, and all anybody was laughing at was Karl Rove and Fox News and Dick Morris and Gallup, and people had kind of forgotten Mitt himself, the onetime standard-bearer of the...

Exciting New Ohio Ad: Republicans Are The Ones Who Love You, Black Dummies!

This ad, playing in Ohio, rests its case! Barack Obama will not bring you wealth and prosperity (except for how he will totally mandate reparations, but shhhh), and Lincoln freed the slaves. That one guy, the one talking before...

Destroying Democracy Thirty-Five Days Early: Ohio Voting Edition

Who's got two thumbs and voted yesterday? THIS GUY. Ohio allows early voting (sort of maybe if the Secretary of State allows it?) thirty-five days before the election. Because I am a shameless political hack, I knew exactly who I...