Wonkette

Hoorah the first debate is Friday, in Confederate Mississippi! Will the plantation owners even let Barack Obama onto the debate stage, or will he have to shout his answers from the balcony? That would be sure to spark a national conversation about race, between no one. But! We’ll see. This week, however, each campaign has assembled a team of debating “vets” for rigorous preparatory regimens. John McCain, for example, will practice-debate with the one black Republican, so as to learn all of “their” tricks. Watch the eyes, Walnuts! THEY SHIFT. And Barack Obama will be debating some old coot he kidnapped at Costco. MORE »

Thanks to Wonkette niche blog operative “Colin” for introducing us to the blog “BLACK MEN FOR MCCAIN.” Who knew! Unfortunately one of these black men is pissed as all get-out at McCain’s Online Store. He notes that the store sells tee shirts for the following groups — Women For McCain, Irish For McCain, Jewish Americans For McCain, Hispanics For McCain, Asian & Pacific Islanders For McCain, and Arab Americans For McCain — but none for our swarthiest brethren. He writes, “I’m black, proud, and I want a damn T-shirt. I have contacted the McCain campaign and received no reply. I think it’s safe to assume that if Arab Americans get their own shirt, Black Men are not asking too much…” It’s rather impressive (impressive?) that neocon bomb & blood fetishist John McCain expects more ARAB votes than black votes. [Black Men For McCain]

John McCain’s armored mammoth-of-death, the famous Straight Talk Express bus, completely destroyed a minivan making a right turn yesterday in Miami. The minivan was holding a black person, maybe, we don’t actually know. The Straight Talk Express was holding Joe Lieberman. *Just saying.* MORE »

Here’s your Barack Obama dealing with an angry dingbat who somehow got press credentials for a campaign rally at Ohio’s Baldwin-Wallace College. The dingbat, identified as either “John Quinn” or “John Q. Public,” started hollering as Obama began a stump speech about energy or something. And then it got funny. MORE »

“NOW, THEREFORE, I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim June 2008 as Black Music Month. I encourage all Americans to learn more about the history of black music and to enjoy the great contributions of African-American singers, musicians, and composers. MORE »

John McCain has never met a black person in his life. If he appears in a picture with black people, they have been Photoshopped in by his fawning chums in the Main Stream Media. That is why he said recently during an interview with black media personality Tavis Smiley — on the invisible radio — that he wants to meet some of Them. Specifically, “I know that I’m not going to get a majority of the African-American vote. But I’m going to campaign all over this country. I’m going to go to South Philadelphia, I’m going to go to the Black Belt in Alabama…” As the Philadelphia Daily News points out, however, South Philadelphia only has like two black people, and the rest are papists who sell cheese steaks. WALNUTS! has failed yet again. [PDN]

For Christ’s sake, please watch this. We mentioned earlier that John McCain asked the dead Martin Luther King Jr. to forgive him for hating black people in the 1980s. But we didn’t mention that the crowd booed him loudly when he did this. They also shouted things back at him, like they do in Barack Obama’s black churches that White America Doesn’t Understand. Around 1:10 into this video, some lady shouts out “so what?” and it is comical. [YouTube via TPM Election Central]

This rapidly circulating flyer was seen ON THE DESK OF Bill Sandifer, a Republican South Carolina state representative. Can you see how horribly non-racially transcendent it is already? MORE »

Is Barack Obama little more than a self-serving, angry wench, just like Hillary Clinton? A reporter who covered Obama for a small Chicago paper during his state senate career writes in a new feature for the Houston Press that “vanilla” Obama’s ambition during those days may have led to some… back room deals? Ignoring his black constituents and their black issues? Yelling at reporters, who then go on to write negative first-person tell-alls for the Houston Press during his presidential campaign? Barack Obama has the dirtiest record of any politician except John McCain. MORE »

With about a thousand votes counted, Barack Obama is the DESTROYER OF WORLDS with 71% of the vote, followed by Hillary/Bill with 21% and Sad John Edwards with like fourteen votes. What will we learn from all of this? How multi-cultural and bi-racial will the coalition become and what should we make of the dominant African-American electorate and the more diversity compared to … Whoops, sorry, we suddenly just started transcribing whatever horseshit they’re jabbering on Wonkette. Congratulations, South Carolinians! You people are so disenfranchised that only 1% of your vote counts!
Obama Victorious In S.C. [The State]

On Martin Luther King Junior Day, Mitt Romney had more than a question about mangy curs to the African-American community. He also had some… advice. Yes, you know where this is going, and you know it’s a tragically dark place lined with Mormon insecurities: MORE »

To celebrate Martin Luther King Junior Day, Mitt Romney asked a bunch of black people in Florida who let them “dogs” out, and how he might put them back in their cages. “Who, who,” or maybe “Woof, woof,” he continues, depending on his Mormon advisers’ current understanding of Ebonics. Always shifting, they are! [CBS News, YouTube]

Slot-machine addict and very white ex-Reagan Administration loser Bill Bennett was on CNN a little while ago, bravely praising the winner of the Iowa Democratic Caucus for not acting all negro. MORE »

On Meet the Press today, Mitt Romney described his reaction to the Mormon church’s 1978 decision to allow black people to fully participate: He cried like a little baby! A wittle pwecious wacist toddlew. MORE »