Happy Monday, America! Wall Street is doing great, so far, this morning. The Dow Jones index is down 400 500 points at the moment, bringing the DJIA below 10,000 for the first time since … well, let’s check the chart. October 22, 2004 — right about the time everybody figured George W. Bush would somehow win re-election and the world would end. MORE »

Well, shit. Fun while it lasted, right? For us, anyways — the elites who had the MacBooks and iPhones and flat-screen teevees and cars and hot water and, uh, food. Pretty much sucked for the other 5 billion, but whatever, it’s all academic now. Ha, not really, because there will be no more academics. Just fighting, fighting other people (and rats, mostly) for food. And then fighting over the rats, and the rotting corpses of the people. Fun Fact: Many societies turn to cannibalism once they’ve hit bottom! TO RECAP: Global sell-off, stocks plummeting worldwide, the NASDAQ dropped like 5% this morning, which is kind of incredible. MORE »