Wonkette

OMFG, the Late Night Shots douchebags have suddenly realized their gals are kind of dumb and bland, and now the LNS doods have developed a collective boner for pretty hipster girls at the Black Cat and Rock ‘n Roll Hotel! But how will the LNS guys disguise their doucheness while trying to get some indie chick action? Read the tragic discussion, after the jump. MORE »

The Onion, America’s only readable newspaper, has opened a DC branch. And whenever anyone does anything in DC, they need to throw a party or two. The first two Onion parties was held last Thursday at the Black Cat. We went, because the Black Cat is within walking distance and they were nice enough to put us on the list. MORE »

* WAMU employees quit together in walk out, Diane Rehm’s head explodes. [Sam Smith's City Desk]
* Running and biking and trails in Arlington. [What's Up Arlington]
* Komi chef Johnny Monis on Food & Wine’s Best New Chef 2007 list. [Komi]
* David Arquette got friendly with some ladies on Monday night. Photos! [BYT]
* It is National Poetry Month, so Olsson’s in Old Town “invites customers to come in and read their favorite poems or their own work every Thursday night.” This begins at 7PM tonight. [The Happy Booker]

We will be sharing our favorite poem, Donald Rumsfeld’s “The Glass Box.” (Read it yourself, after the jump.)

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* Documentary film The War Tapes screens at the Black Cat. “Called up for service in Iraq, several members of the National Guard were given digital video cameras. This astonishing film, edited from their footage, provides an unimaginably vivid perspective on an extremely complex and troubled conflict.” $5 at 9PM. [Black Cat]
* Norman Mailer discusses his Hitler novel with Alan Cheuse at Wesley United Methodist Church. It’s going to be good because Mailer’s mind is deteriorating quickly: “Norman Mailer returns with a new novel, a fictional chronicle of Hitler’s boyhood, told by a devil sent by Satan to nurture the nascent evil in the future dictator and mass murderer. Much of the novel is focused on Hitler’s father Alois, a minor provincial customs official, who, according to this account, spawned his son from an act of incest.” You need tickets, they are $12 and the “conversation” begins at 7PM. [P&P]
* Hear some pre-WW2 blues and folk songs with the Old Crow Medicine Show at the Recher Theatre. $25 at 8PM. [Recher Theatre]

Lighting up in a bar became illegal as the Washington, DC smoking ban went into effect midnight last night. Local music venue/watering hole the Black Cat, whose staff was almost unanimous in their denunciation of the ban, celebrated last night with an official Smoke Out, at which patrons could enjoy their last legal public cigarettes. MORE »

• Paper Rad and Extreme Animals at the Warehouse Next Door. 8:30PM. [WND]
• To Have and Have Not at Screen on the Green. [WP]
• “Regular old country blues stuff,” The Starlingtons with The Rosemont Family Reunion. $6 at the Black Cat. 9PM. [Black Cat]
• Amnesty International hosts “Global Vigil Calling for Ceasefire in Israel and Lebanon Conflict.” 5pm at the Department of State, 2201 C Street NW, Washington, DC 20520. [Amnesty]

* Gallery openings galore. [DC Art News] MORE »