Walnuts! The fact is, this was a political promise made by an inexperienced President or candidate for Presidency of the United States. Jonathan Chait says this shows John McCain is bitter about losing the 2008 election, but to us it seems he just never stopped running for president. He didn’t lose the 2008 election; it [...]
The Senate went to work on a Sunday — Hanukkah Sunday, we bet! — and desecrated the grave of the Stillborn Jesus to give hundreds of billions of dollars to themselves and their favorite government programs. The bill okays $447 billion for whatever federal agencies plus $650 billion to keep funding teabagger welfare programs such [...]
While millions of FOX News viewers were busily fantasizing about the inevitable race riots that would leave Oakland, Philly, Detroit, and Chicago in smoking ruins following Barack Obama’s crushing defeat Tuesday night, nobody thought to wonder what would become of the bitter Klingons who might be sad if Barack Obama actually won. Well, here’s your [...]
Barack Obama’s “ancestors” in the quaint town of Kogelo, Kenya, deign to slaughter this beast if their favorite Luo Tribesman wins the U.S. presidential election. Now that the Bitters have more or less finished voting, everyone forward this post to every Bitter you know, along with scary comments like “THEY’RE COMING FOR YOU NEXT, BUBBA.” [...]
Well folks, there won’t be any real “news” for hours and hours today, and you keep in sending your nice reports, so we will just cut and paste and get to the drinking early. Here we have EXCLUSIVE ON-THE-GROUND EYEWITNESS REPORTS regarding a sassy lady on the bus in Bed-Stuy, an angry old Irish broad [...]
A shocking new poll by the Associated Press proves that McCain supporters are “becoming more angry, bored, overwhelmed and helpless.” Only 13% of the bitters are “excited” about the campaign, while the rest just wish it was already over. Barack Obama supporters, however, are loving life, living large, and constantly getting laid. [AP-Yahoo]
Stocks may be up or down another 900 points right now, who knows — but they are very much down in general, like 35% down. And houses, they are worth nine dollars each, in KFC coupons, yet there are no takers. All the car manufacturers are shutting down, forever, and soon gasoline will be 45 [...]
YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF … “Get enough meth or oxycontin in your system, load up the soon-to-be repossessed Ford Expedition with your buddies, and show these commies and blacks and elites and terrorist community gang organizers and Mexicans and gays and Muslims and Wall Streeters and harlots and Hollywood scum and Georgetown cocktail-sipping [...]
The esteemed, venerable and important New York Times Sunday Magazine this week spends TEN WHOLE INTERNET PAGES speaking from the side of its jaw about this black feller, Obaramasama, and how none of the “real” whites like him really at all. See on the cover there, he’s talking to any white guy in a secret [...]
Joe Biden has one job this election: to get the Bitters in Pennsylvania to vote for a black Muslim. That is literally all he has to do. Maybe Ohio, too, but mostly Pennsylvania, because he was of course born there! In Scranton, the famous town where Happiness goes to die. On Friday, he went to [...]
Here’s an official Buffalo Chip poster advertising that thing John McCain went to yesterday with the Bitters. His name is hidden somewhere on this poster. And look at Cindy there in her cunt outfit, just cold tamin’ the buffalo.
Meet this loser, “Cort Rinaldi.” Not only is he (allegedly) spray-painting dozens of City of Orlando cars with “anti-Obama statements,” but he has apparently been so obvious about his graffiti spree that police know his name, his age (43 and fine!) and even have his picture. But they don’t know where he sleeps? Anyway, watch [...]
Greasy shitsack Barack Obama has sold out yet again to the Corporates and Racists: “SI.com has learned that for the first time in history, a major presidential candidate may sponsor a race car in NASCAR’s premier series. According to sources, Barack Obama’s campaign is in talks to become the primary sponsor of BAM Racing’s No. [...]
Ed Hale, creator of the World’s Greatest Website for pretend Hillary Clinton fanatics who WILL NOT VOTE FOR THE COLORED, has a favor to ask. Would you mind making Internet-radio commercials for his make-believe Internet Radio show against the Nobamas? You know, if you “think you have what it takes to be a radio star”? [...]
Brilliant Republican strategist Karl Rove is not Arrogant, or an Elitist. He has helped his party help poor people and the underrepresented by flying young men and women to Iraq, which they may colonize for a brighter, more prosperous future. Rove knows what an Elitist is, and it is Elitist Barack Obama. This morning, Rove [...]
