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birthers

BOOOOOOOO  10:19 am May 18, 2012

You Don’t Gotta Tell Joe Arpaio About (Debunked) Literary Agent’s ‘Kenya’ Brochure, He’s Got This

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Ghost Andrew Breitbart must be spinning in hell. He told these idiots that the “birther” stuff was “not a winning issue,” and what did these fuckwads at his ghost web empire do? They ran a total birther story with a long embarrassed introduction explaining that they weren’t birthers per se — um, let’s see — [...]

AS USUAL  7:15 pm April 23, 2012

Orly Taitz Losing Senate Race, GOP Racism Against White People to Blame

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Here is a very important regional political update that you will not want to miss: famous dingbat and U.S. Senate candidate Orly Taitz has been snubbed for the endorsement of the California Republican Assembly. Orly Taitz has considered all the reasons why this might be the case, and Republican racism against white people is the [...]

GLOBAL WARMING FOR SURE NOT FOR REAL HOWEVER  9:01 am April 10, 2012

GOP Rep. Hartzler Absolutely Sure She Isn’t Sure That Obama’s Birth Certificate Is Real

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Fringe loonball Rep. Vicky Hartzler’s weary spokesman has this report to share with us regarding the minutes of Hartzler’s latest group therapy session with her constituents: “In responding to a constituent’s question regarding the Obama birth certificate, Congresswoman Hartzler confirmed that this issue has been raised by many 4th District citizens with whom she has [...]

GEEK AND DESTROY  10:45 am April 2, 2012

Birther Metal Dude Dave Mustaine: Rick Santorum Would Be ‘A Really Cool President,’ ‘Like JFK’

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Hahahahahahahahaha, here is Megadeth’s (and Metallica’s) Dave Mustaine, last relevant when your editrix was a sophomore in high school, being really “hip” and “with-it” and “politically informed.” First: Obama is not an American (duh): “I have a lot of questions about [President Obama], but certainly not where he was born,” Mustaine said. “I know he [...]

HAPPINESS IS  11:01 am March 29, 2012

Dentist Lawyer Realtor Birther Orly Taitz To Have Privilege Of Losing To Sen. Dianne Feinstein

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Don’t try to tell us God doesn’t smile on Your Wonkette. Why else would Dentist/Lawyer/Real Estate Agent/Birther (so much threat!) Dr. Orly Taitz Esquire be leading in the GOP primary to take on California Senator Dianne Feinstein? Your Wonkette is no particular fan of ol’ (and we mean ol’) DiFi, having once been present when [...]

WHERE THE LAULAU IS THE KAUKAU AT THE LUAU  12:31 pm March 22, 2012

WONKETTE EXCLUSIVE! President Obama Tells Birth Certificate Joke to Nice Lady in Oklahoma

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

WONKET EXCLUSIVE! MUST CREDIT WONKETTE!!!1!! Barack Obama has just arrived in Cushing, OK, to talk about energy and supporting this pipeline doohickey if it’s safe, something something algae? On his way out, he stopped to shake hands with nice lady Donna Schoenkopf, who had apparently scammed her way in by pretending to be a reporter. [...]

PEOPLE WHO ARE JUST DOING THEIR JOBS  12:15 pm March 22, 2012

Joe Arpaio Demands Barack Obama’s 1980 Selective Service Card

by Jim Newell

Arizona humiliation Sheriff Joe Arpaio has called on the Director of U.S. Selective Service System to have his agency “conduct an investigation into Barack Obama’s Selective Service registration form from 1980.” Ha! Here’s what you should tell him, Director of U.S. Selective Service System Lawrence G. Romo: No, you dumphead. Then again, Joe Arpaio did [...]

THIS WHOLE COURT IS OUT OF ORDER!  10:50 am March 22, 2012

California Birthers, in Rare Moment of Consistency, Target Romney as Unnatural Unborn Uncitizen

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Everyone knows, correct, that Mitt Romney’s dad, Ol’ “Messican George” Romney, was born in Mexico because his own dad had fled the US so he could keep all his trillion wives, si, claro? Weeellll, there’s a last best straw currently being grasped at by those few (a third to half of all Republicans) who claim [...]

WHAT THE POSTMAN SAW  9:51 am March 20, 2012

GOTCHA! Mailman Met Foreign Student Barack Obama at Terrorist’s Mom’s House 25 Years Ago

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

GOTCHA, Barack NOoObamA! You know how on Law & Order they always manage to find a witness who says, “Yeah, I do remember a little somethin’ funny in that parking lot three Tuesday mornings ago. There was a tan Camry, plate started with 473A. It was in space 42, I remember, and I noticed the [...]

BREAKING  5:15 pm March 1, 2012

Joe Arpaio Said Something So Important That CNN Broadcast It Live

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Top Arizona media whore and pink panty queen Joe Arpaio gave a stupid press conference today! Was it to respond to those allegations that he stole millions and millions of public dollars to persecute his political opponents? To announce a new partnership-initiative with the Pope in covering up reports of child molestation? Or did he [...]

EMERGENCY EMERGENCY EMERGENCY  12:45 pm February 6, 2012

Orly Taitz Orders Prosecution of Everyone Who Disagrees With Her

by Liz Colville

In a shocking turn of events, the birther trial in Georgia of which Orly Taitz tries to be a part despite the fact that she can’t practice law in Georgia (and probably anywhere else) has ruled in favor of sanity i.e. Obama! Which means that Taitz, who evidently steals bedspreads from Las Vegas hotels and [...]

SAVE THE DATE!  4:45 pm January 24, 2012

Obama Being Forced to Show Up to Lame Birther Court Hearing in Georgia

by Liz Colville

President “The President” “Born in the U.S.A.” “Here to Stay” Obama is required to appear at an administrative court hearing in Atlanta on Thursday over the matter of the location of his birth and whether it disqualifies him from the prize he won in 2008. Orly Taitz, Esquireordinaire is of course thrilled, being the chief [...]

IN A WORLD OF PURE IMAGINATION  1:00 pm January 13, 2012

Romney and Gingrich Have Black Fathers, Says Crazy Birther

by Liz Colville

James David Manning, the flame-tongued Obama-bashing pastor of Harlem’s ATLAH World Missionary Church, has some new weapons to add to his marginal arsenal of attempted birther world takeover. Manning, in a new edition of his heartwarming Manning Report video series, says he believes that both Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney have black fathers, because no [...]

OILY TATER TOTS STRIKE AGAIN  7:11 pm January 5, 2012

Orly Taitz Scores Procedural Victory in Birther Lawsuit, America Is Saved

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Leading American source for legal humor Orly Taitz HAS HIT THE JACKPOT, AT LAST with a majorly awesome minor procedural win in a Georgia court, because a judge denied the Obama Administration’s request to dismiss whatever greasy piece of paper full of crayon streaks she filed lately on the grounds that Georgia election law allows [...]

PHYSICS HOW DOES IT WORK  11:42 am December 13, 2011

Birther Twits Create Aerial Banner Ad Seen Only By People With X-Ray Vision

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

The birther hobbyists at WorldNetDaily would have liked NFL fans watching some game in Texas to notice their screamy ad, but shit, who knew they’ve been putting domes on the professional football stadiums these days? [WND]

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