Tag: birthers

President Ted Cruz (R-Not Really)

Republicans Lining Up To Punch Foreigner Ted Cruz Right In His Poutine Curds

Oh damn, all y'all. Things are not looking good for our hero, Cuban-Canadian Ted Cruz of Texas. And by hero, we mean actual skin sack of bile who deserves all the scorn and the rage and the gratuitous name-calling and face-punching....

Carly Fiorina Thinks It’s ‘Odd’ Ted Cruz Only Just Started Loving America

After approximately 79 years and 79 shazillion investigations into whether Barack Obama is a United States citizen (he is), or Hawaii is a foreign country (it is not), or whether black people can even be president (obviously, duh, TWICE), we...

Real American John McCain Just Askin’ If Foreigner Ted Cruz Is Allowed To Be President

Mmmm, do you smell that? That, my friends, is the fragrance of Republicans slow-roasting Cuban spice-rubbed Ted Cruz on a spit. Isn't it delicious? After Donald Trump hint-hinted that it would be a yoooge mistake for Republicans to support a guy who WASN'T...
Not nearly as stupid as everything he says

Ann Coulter Says Canadian Anchor Baby Ted Cruz Only Fit To Be President Of Cuba

Now that the "precarious" issue of Ted Cruz's citizenship is fair game -- and shut up, yes it is -- now is also the time for all good men, plus Ann Coulter, to come to the aid of their country...

Praise God And Pass The Maple Syrup: Donald Trump Goes Birther On Ted Cruz

It's moments like this that make a humble little blogger so grateful to be alive and sitting at her computer machine 37 hours a day, in her sweats that haven't been changed in  days: Donald Trump said in an interview that...

Washington Post Demands Racist GOP Hatemongers Tsk-Tsk Racist Donald Trump

One would think the Very Serious Media has had enough time to recover from its shock that Donald Trump is a racist hate-mongering sack of scum. And that the Republican base loves him for it. He is, as we...
For Ben, it's Raptor Jesus or nothing

Ben Carson Will Not Have A Muslim President Smearing Sharia On His Constitution

In the continuing nationwide Derp Wave unleashed by the idiot who asked what Donald Trump will do about America's Muslim Problem, Ben Carson at least gave a more definite answer than Trump did. Pity that it was kind of...
That lady at the top right may need to take a loyalty oath

Donald Trump Defends Rights Of Trump Fans To Be Total Idiots

After vanishing for a couple of days to take care of an important "business transaction" (it did not involve buying a clue, we'll guess), Donald Trump finally addressed his failure to correct or even react much to a supporter's assertions...
WHO ME?

No, Donald Trump Did Not Tell That Dumbass He’s Going To Kill All The Muslims

OK, internet, we're going to #slatepitch you for the second time in as many days, and you're going to like it, because Wonkette is right about all the things. The liberals on the computers are currently freaking out over...
Yes America is that dumb

Shocking New Polls Show Republicans Are Still Morons

After all these years, is our Republicans learning? Nope. We've seen the president's birth certificate, we've read endless PolitiFacting, and even the team of private investigators Donald Trump sent to Hawaii four years ago has yet to make any...
You'd be surprised how many mollusks are in high office

Birthers Doubt Eligibility Of Anyone To Be U.S. President

It's nice to know that the birthers won't go away merely because Barack Hussein Obama is finally going to end his illegal eight-year occupation of the White House in January 2017. Now that they've studied up a whole lot...
By now, we can't imagine anyone would make a big deal about it.

Obama Trolling Donald Trump Again, Will Visit Kenya, Or Home Sweet Home

In a move that shouldn't provoke any hysteria at all on the internet, the White House announced that President Obama will travel to Kenya in July for the "2015 Global Entrepreneurship Summit (GES)," which is a "global platform connecting...
Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain

Time To Inspect Ted Cruz’s Canadian ‘Birth Certificate,’ Obviously

Now that Ted Cruz has declared himself our next president, the 2016 election is pretty much wrapped up, right? He just has to get those laughably low approval numbers from his own party up to something above negativeteen, beat...
Did NOT nail it actually

Rick Santorum Makes Wonkette To Laugh With Hilarious CPAC Joke!

Rick Santorum made a HI-larious funny at CPAC on Friday afternoon, and it was so fresh and edgy and flawlessly delivered, he will definitely get to be president next time for sure. He was observing -- because of how...

Million-Year-Old ‘Rocker’ Pat Boone Thinks Obama Will Set All The Murderers Free

Pat Boone -- once a popular entertainer who appropriated black music and sanitized it for white consumption, now a WorldNetDaily columnist, and there’s a career arc -- posted some thoughts over at Joseph Farah’s Internet Home for Mustachioed Paranoids...

23 Times Fox News Sh*t The Bed, You Are Welcome

So you know how Fox News, America’s No. 1 News Source for Your Racist Uncle, got into that little dustup with Le Gay Paree over, you know, how France and England had created a bunch of Muslims-only Shariah paradises...