birth control
Oklahoma State Senate Bill: Employers Ain’t Gotta Insure Contraceptives Because Women Are Meant To Be Mommies
Oh, hey, here’s a new twist on an old story! You already know how having to pay for insurance coverage for birth control is a violation of an employer’s sacred right to tell employees how to live, but a genius state Senator in Oklahoma, Clark Jolley (R-Not All That Jolly) has just placed himself in [...]
Andrea Peyser Wants To Knock Up Your Pre-Teen
New York Post harpie-in-residence Andrea Peyser, what are you shrieking and yowling about this morning? Oh, that teen pregnancy has gone down 25 percent in New York City over the past decade, so we should stop teaching sex ed and giving out birth control? Madam, you are genius. Come, let us listen at Peyser’s gentle [...]
Big Joel Johnson, State Representative, Wants To Be Michigan’s Vagina Inspector
Michigan has passed so many crazy laws recently that you’d think there weren’t any ways left to make this place more like Mississippi with snow. Well, you’d be wrong. State Rep. Joel Johnson wants to compel doctors to stick a thing into ladies’ lady parts before then can have an abortion. Technically, the procedure is [...]
Former Pizza Kingpin Does Not Want To Pay For Your Whore Pills
Tom Monaghan, founder of Domino’s Pizza, terrible baseball team owner, and a guy so Catholic that probably even the Pope thinks he needs to give it a rest, is very upset that this Obamacare thing will allow his employees to make their own health care decisions without his input. So, he’s suing. After all, Tom [...]
Wacky Ohio Nuns’ Video Says Women Who Use Contraceptives Make Men Gay
The “Children of Mary,” a group of nuns in Ohio, has released a video that is a kind of one-stop shopping trip for insane ideas about birth control. If you can’t bring yourself to waste 13 minutes of your life watching it (and we do not blame you at all if you decide to skip [...]
Zombie Breitbart Now, Somehow, Perturbed By The Word “Slut”
Let us all pause for a moment and listen closely, so as not to miss the quiet but familiar noise of another political argument going over Dana Loesch’s head. Loesch, Breitbart.com’s leader in the War On The War On Women, has (surprise!) a bone to pick with you, Feminidiots. She heard some of you at [...]
Actual United States Congressmen: Free Birth Control Sinks Their Battleships
Remember in 1990, when conservatives shrieked and moaned about the threat to religious freedom that was the Supreme Court upholding a ban on Native Americans’ sacramental Tripping Off of the Balls? You don’t? That is because those people were Indians. But today? Today, Aug. 1, 2012, is a Day That Shall Live in Infamy. This [...]
NRO’s Kathryn Jean Lopez Just Doesn’t See What All The Fuss Is About S-E-X
Kathryn Jean Lopez, better known by her gang moniker, K-Lo, is a pill. She is unpleasant and obsequiously pious and constantly telling all other American Catholics how they’re doing Catholicism wrong by actually following the edicts of Vatican II (which said Catholics should follow the dictates of their own consciences). She moans a lot about [...]
Alaska GOP Sen. Lisa Murkowski Keeps Not Getting Memo On War On War On Women
GOP Senator Lisa Murkowski, why do you insist on undermining the War on the War on Women? RNC Chair Reince Priebus has said it’s fictional. Kathryn-Jean Lopez twits 17 times a day with links to her one or two columns saying the same thing. Even Ol’ Whatserface, Drinky Nooner — who you know has seen [...]
Obama Wins Suit Forcing Bishops to Personally Perform Fourth Trimester Abortions on Sex Traffic Victims
Religious freeeeeeeeedom. Religious freeeeeeeedom. Shhhh, do you hear that? That is Kathryn Jean Lopez, wailing and gnashing. She is having a very bad day! What did that mean old Obama administration do this time? It won a lawsuit saying if the Catholic Church wanted all the federal contracts to care for victims of sex trafficking, [...]
Karen Santorum Proves Rick Doesn’t Hate Women: He Cleaned Kitchen a Few Times
Rick Santorum is not a vagina-hating monster, according to Rick Santorum’s wife. What evidence have you to submit in the idiot’s favor, Karen, or will you merely plead insanity? “When I was doing my book tours,” she offers in a CNN interview, “Rick was the one who was home changing diapers and making meals and [...]
John McCain: I Was Against the War on Women After I Was For It
Hooray, you guys, “Country First” John McCain can now go back to being America’s Sweetheart Divorced Husband! Having just a few weeks ago voted for the Blunt Amendment — that stupid thing that Mitch McConnell got a boner for, about letting all private employers determine just how slutty their workers were allowed to be in [...]
Rick Santorum Simply Does Not Care for Joe Scarborough’s ‘Gotcha’ Questions
Rick Santorum put the pout back on his smegma-caked lips when Sad Morning Joe host Joe Scarborough insisted on reminding him he was a dirty liar. First, temptressy succubus Mika Zbrzeziznzkszy was all, “Hey, so is everybody on your team telling you to zip it with this birth control nonsense yet, because I and all [...]
New Hanover County, NC, Wants a Piece of That Popular ‘Womyn Are Slutty’ Act
Good morning, New Hanover County, North Carolina! How’s things? Oh you got a $9,000 grant for womyn’s health, no strings (or matching funds) attached? HOW NICE FOR YOU! That must come in handy these days, with the budget situations everywhere and all! My, isn’t it great when government comes through! Oh, but you do not [...]
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