birth control

So here is a funny thing. And not an April Fools haha-just-kidding-PSYCH!-YA BURNT! unfunny funny thing, but an actual hilarious-on-any-day-of-the-year funny thing. You know that arts and crafts store, Hobby Lobby, created in God’s image to provide bored housewives with all their scrapbooking and needlepointing needs at made-in-China bargain basement prices? Of course you do, […]

Hey, Ladies of Wonket! Hope you’re all having a welcoming, nurturing, inviting day! It’s really a beautiful miracle how God made you so well-suited for secretarial and receptionist duties, because those are pretty much the only jobs you should consider while you wait to find a husband to take care of you (or become a […]

Hey ladies. How you doing? With your uncontrolled libidos, we bet you are slutting it up all over the place, so thank the Spirit in the Sky that you can get free government slut pills so you can be as slutty as you wanna be! But maybe you whoring whoremonsters need some representation at the […]

Here is a funny thing. In 2008, your Editrix believed — and said to people, with her mouth! — that Mike Huckabee, the kindly preacher who didn’t seem to actively want to skin and eat the poor, would be the greatest threat to the Dems if nominated. Since then, of course, he has become as […]

So you know how when nuns take they’re vows, they’re married to Jebus? Ann Coulter has figured out that it’s pretty much the same thing when single women want insurance to cover their Whore Pills, except they’re marrying the federal government. On a special Fox & Friends tribute to the Mad Hatter’s tea party Sunday, […]

Congratulations, Mr. Weeper of the House John Boehner! No, not because you finally impeached Obamacare (because that is not actually something that will happen even though you have tried it eleventeen point four times). No, not because you finally got those wacky teabaggers to shut the hell up and stop hostaging America and let you […]

Hey, whores, good news! You know how we’ve all had a major case of the sads ever since President Obama started personally force-feeding slut pills down our throats and infamying America like 9/11 and Pearl Harbor? Thankfully, the D.C. Court of Appeals has ruled that we don’t need no stinkin’ ladyparts health care after all, […]

Texas, which has some of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the country, is ready to put a stop to all that: at a cost of only $1.2 million, it has unveiled a brand new website, www.ourtown4teens.org, that promotes abstinence but doesn’t include a single word about contraception. Problem: Solved! As everyone knows, once you […]

A federal appeals court upheld the Affordable Care Act’s requirement that insurance plans cover contraception, even when employers are personally offended by the idea that their slutty employees might be having sex in ways that the employers’ imaginary friends don’t approve of. A Catholic family that owns a controlling interest in two private companies had […]

Need a break from all this argle bargle about The Greatest Country in the History of Ever’s most recent campaign to reduce as many of the world’s brown people as possible to their component parts? Then let us look to the Center for Disease Control, of all places, for some Friday Nice Time! Today the […]

Bad news. It turns out that Obamacare doesn’t just make birth control freely available. It actually mandates that every man, woman, and child in America take birth control until they grow hair in weird places or whatever those devil pills do to you. It seems strange that they would mandate birth control usage, but that’s […]

The Internet has given us many wonderful things. Porn, obsessive coverage of the royal babby, ways to buy groceries without leaving the house, and, of course, porn, also, too. Downside: it ha also given us a chance to see some things we would never see, like a full-blown meltdown of a once-major news commenter. It […]

After losing a lawsuit in federal court, and then an appeal, the Obama administration is dropping its opposition to a judge’s order to allow over the counter sales of “Plan B” emergency contraception without age restrictions. We’re pretty sure that the decision to not fight the case any further will be met with a minimum of […]

Remember that one time when President Barack Hussein Hitler Obama was all, like, “Hey, ladies, how would you like it if your health insurance had to cover birth control, without copays, because all the doctor types say that is just good common sense, and it will be better for your health and your families and […]

Oh, hey, here’s a new twist on an old story! You already know how having to pay for insurance coverage for birth control is a violation of an employer’s sacred right to tell employees how to live, but a genius state Senator in Oklahoma, Clark Jolley (R-Not All That Jolly) has just placed himself in […]