Tag Archives: birth control

  Wonket Does Not Allow Comments And Here's The Best One Today

Look Upon This Comment Of The Day And Weep, Ye Mighty

Now with Kerning!
Okay, people, you can all just stop trying today. In fact, we might just as well take the rest of the week off until Kaili gets back from “vacation,” because today, the internet has already been won in the comments on our Colorado IUD Success Story Must Die piece. As you may recall, since it was just a few hours ago, the story noted that Colorado’s program to distribute birth control to young women had reduced both teen pregnancies and teen abortions by impressive amounts, which means that Republicans have to kill the program because that means teens are doing sex without life-ruining consequences, which just won’t do. Read more on Look Upon This Comment Of The Day And Weep, Ye Mighty…
  nice time!

Pro-Life Colorado Republicans Angry That Teen Abortion Rate Declining

They work!
Who would have guessed that the “pro-life” sex education plan, which is essentially “do not have sex ever, you whore,” doesn’t work? Everyone would have guessed that! But Colorado has a lesson to teach America about what DOES work, and it is free birth control for everyone, so that ladies can do sex without worrying about unplanned pregnancies. We’re not sure the religious right will like this news, because it also means that ladies can do sex without asking their permission: Read more on Pro-Life Colorado Republicans Angry That Teen Abortion Rate Declining…
  Uh ... thanks?

Senate Republicans Have Neat New Plan To Make You Pay More For Slut Pills, You’re Welcome

They sure love us
Senate Republicans are really concerned about making sure women have greater access to birth control. No, really, it is true! (No, really, it is not.) From the same party that has tried for years to defund Planned Parenthood, ban certain types of birth control that they think murder babies (because they are idiots who don’t understand what contraception is), and protect employers’ “right” to tell you what kind of medicine you can use on your ladyparts comes the latest clever attempt to make life harder for the ladies, but, you know, “for the ladies.” Read more on Senate Republicans Have Neat New Plan To Make You Pay More For Slut Pills, You’re Welcome…
  Yes the law is the law even for ladycare

Yes, Insurance Companies Have To Cover Your Vag

Pay the fuck up
It should not be necessary for the Obama administration to tell health insurance companies, “Seriously, you have to, it’s THE LAW!” about the requirements of the Affordable Care Act, but alas. It seems the insurance industry figured the Department of Health and Human Services’s specific guidelines for coverage of women’s preventive health care were, like, suggestions. Not the actual law that insurance companies are required to follow, because it is THE LAW: Read more on Yes, Insurance Companies Have To Cover Your Vag…
  he sounds nice

The Gentleman From Arkansas Will Give Poor Women IUDs To Stop Birthing Trash

You're fired!
You are not going to believe it, but there is a very conservative Republican state representative in Arkansas who wants to give taxpayer-funded birth control to ladies. Hooray and high-five, fellow feminazis, we have won the war at last! Let us now live in our misandrist matriarchal utopia happily ever after, the end. Read more on The Gentleman From Arkansas Will Give Poor Women IUDs To Stop Birthing Trash…
  Fertility Writes

Hero Science Man Matt Walsh: Feminists Hate Women, Because Slut Pills Kill

Lyra, you doofus. Bon Bon's a girl... you don't even need those, silly pony...
Matt Walsh, a dingus who writes for Glenn Beck’s Flaming Internet Hole, presents a science-based case against The Pill, which he has discovered is really, really bad for women, because SCIENCE. For one thing, he read a genuine medical study that found “women who took chemical birth control at any point in their lives show a 50 percent higher likelihood of developing a certain type of brain tumor.” That’s scary! Also it means that The Pill lets men have consequence-free sex, while women will all die of diseased brains! Read more on Hero Science Man Matt Walsh: Feminists Hate Women, Because Slut Pills Kill…
  Tomorrow Belongs To Him

Sundays With The Christianists: How Homeschooling Will Re-Christianize America

Lots of good jobs for women, too!
Remember the anecdote about what Gandhi supposedly said when asked what he thought of Western Civilization? “I think it would be a good idea.” Colorado radio preacher and homeschooling advocate Kevin Swanson has a slightly different answer — he’d say “I think it’s been corrupted by Satan from the very beginning.” This is why people like the Gandhi quote, even if it’s probably apocryphal. But here we are, finally, at the end of Swanson’s e-tirade, Apostate: The Men Who Destroyed the Christian West, which lays out his case that most of what we think of as Western Culture is in fact a grand plot by the Father of Lies to turn Europe and America away from Biblical truth and clean Christian living. In his final chapter, “Gardens in the Ashes,” Swanson presents his vision for how American Christians can begin to rebuild a truly Christian society after the inevitable collapse of secularism. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: How Homeschooling Will Re-Christianize America…
  winning the war on coal

2014 Was A Pretty Great Year For The Environment. Really!

The Garden of Earthly Delights by ExxonMobil
This post brought to you by the Patty Dumpling Endowed Blogging Chair For Something Nice For Once At first it looked like 2014 was going to be more of the same bullshit. On Jan. 9, a chemical spill in West Virginia’s Elk River contaminated the drinking water of some 16 percent of the state’s population. Freedom Industries, the company responsible, was soon revealed to be a malodorous pit of corruption and grabassery that seemed almost too stupid to be real. Read more on 2014 Was A Pretty Great Year For The Environment. Really!…
  A Loofah Under Every Tree

How is Bill O’Reilly Ruining Christmas This Year?

Fuck this guy. Seriously, fuck this guy.
Gather ’round, Wonketeers, because today we’re dropping not one but two Bill O’Reilly-shaped turds in yr stockings — it’s a Festivus miracle! We begin with O’Reilly’s remarks on Late Night with Seth Meyers. Read more on How is Bill O’Reilly Ruining Christmas This Year?…
  Book Of Hatchet Job

Sundays with the Christianists: How Mark Twain Steered America Toward Hell

Mark Twain and his familiar
You may have thought that Mark Twain was some kind of literary genius, but did you also know that he personally ruined America by being such a good writer of books, which ruined America? We’ve finally reached the chapter we’ve been waiting for in Kevin Swanson’s culture-war epic Apostate: The Men Who Destroyed the Christian West, in which the Colorado radio preacher and homeschooling advocate explains how pretty much everything we think of as Western Civilization is actually an assault on true civilization, by which he means the Bible and people who read it like Kevin Swanson does. We bought this horrible little e-book last year after Swanson talked about Twain with fellow wingnut Rick Wiles and claimed that Twain was clearly influenced by demons. We figured it would be a pretty good fight: America’s greatest writer versus a rightwing radio preacher who thinks birth control pills fill women’s innards with hundreds of fossilized dead babies. Our money was definitely on the literary genius, who still held the advantage despite being dead for over a century. Read more on Sundays with the Christianists: How Mark Twain Steered America Toward Hell…
  The House Of Seven Goebbels

Sundays With The Christianists: Why ‘The Scarlet Letter’ Is Bad For Jesus And America

Of course there's a manga version
It’s Pearl Harbor Day, so what more fitting time to talk about an attack on America? Only this isn’t an attack from some evil foreign empire (redundant, since all foreigns are evil) but from within. As we’re learning from wingnut radio preacher and homeschooling advocate Kevin Swanson, we’re under attack by our very own cultural touchstones — at least those that aren’t the Holy Bible. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: Why ‘The Scarlet Letter’ Is Bad For Jesus And America…
  Dumb and dumber

Ann Coulter Still Getting On TV Somehow

S-M-R-T
You almost (relax, we said almost) have to pity Ann Coulter, the once semi-relevant “author” and “columnist” whose brand was being The Hot Conservative Chick, with the long blonde hair and little black dresses — oh, and the obnoxious things she’s always willing to say to get her name in the paper. She used to have slightly more pull on the Wingnut Welfare Circuit, before the greatest lady grifter of all time snowdrifted down to the lower 48 to seize The Hot Conservative Chick crown with her Neiman Marcus wardrobe and her starburst-inspiring winking, pretty much permanently putting baby Ann in a corner. (Coulter’s various dalliances with voter fraud — actual voter fraud — certainly didn’t help her reputation.) Read more on Ann Coulter Still Getting On TV Somehow…
  She makes a bag of hammers look good

Is Iowa’s Lady Wannabe Senator Joni Ernst Stupid Or Just Really Stupid?

Give her a minute she's trying to figure it out
Iowa state Sen. Joni Ernst is definitely not the brightest belle in the drawer. She’s hoping to get elected to the U.S. Senate on a platform of arresting the government for Obamacare, warning the rural folk about Agenda 21’s plot to make them ride bicycles like common Chinese, and also something about castrating pigs. Read more on Is Iowa’s Lady Wannabe Senator Joni Ernst Stupid Or Just Really Stupid?…
  First Amendment right to make monies!!!!!

Hobby Lobby Owner Cool With Making Money From Abortion Drugs Because That’s Different

Time for another history lesson
Here is a Shocking! revelation from Steve Green, president of the crafting-for-Jesus Hobby Lobby chain. He still hates birth control, of course, because he sincerely believes it murders babies. Lucky for him the Supreme Court agreed he has a First Amendment right to disregard the law because of how sincerely he believes that. (Yep, still mad about that. Still gosh darned effing pissed, ACTUALLY. Especially because now your “sincerely held religious beliefs” can get you out of pretty much any laws you don’t like.) Read more on Hobby Lobby Owner Cool With Making Money From Abortion Drugs Because That’s Different…