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Edited slightly for formatting, content untouched. You don’t mess with genius.

1) You guys don’t get it. Porter Goss USES national intelligence.

2) Note that Porter Goss abruptly resigned to leave for his farm two days after Fran Townsend put out Bush’s Pandemic Flu Plan — in which Bush first told us “You’re Fucked” — see here.

Next, he told us “You’re on your own” — see here.

Which looks a lot like the Bush Hurricane Katrina plan.

3) In the 1960s after the Cuban Missile Crisis, Porter Goss left the CIA and settled on Sanibel Island near the bottom of southwest Florida — one of only two spots in the USA that would have survived the massive fallout from a Soviet Nuclear Strike — see here.

4) Now, the news reports that “Goss and his wife own a central Virginia farm, where they raise cattle, sheep and chickens. ” See bottom of here.

It just so happens that Central Virginia is one of the few spots in the country that does not have geese carrying Avian flu flying over it. See here and here.

5) Face it — when the pandemic hits, interstate transport shuts down and you guys in Washington are feeding on each other like cannibals –literally, not just politically — Goss will be setting on his front porch eating goat cheese, sipping homemade Cabernet and enjoying the rural sunset. Laughing his ass off as he tells his wife about how Donald Rumsfeld talked Dick Cheney into buying an estate on the Chesapeake Bay –an area which receives the largest dump of migratory goose droppings in the country.

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Earlier this afternoon, homeland security hottie Frances Townsend graced our television screens, to outline federal government preparations for a possible outbreak of pandemic flu. We were alerted to this development when our traffic spiked, due to Google searches for “frances townsend” and “frances townsend pics.”

The Times offers this account of the federal plan:

Although the federal government will stockpile 75 million doses of antiviral drugs and 20 million doses of vaccine to combat any outbreak of pandemic flu, local governments and individual communities will have to shoulder most of the burden in battling the disease, the White House said today.

Translation: “Good luck, kids, you’re on your own! This is not going to be another Hurricane Katrina, where the federal government gets blamed for everything. Fault your state and local governments instead.”

After the jump, a few more comments on the federal plan (such as it may be).

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The Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service wants you to do your part to help stop the Bird Flu! They want your help so bad, in fact, that they’ve unveiled a web-based campaign designed to convince you that keeping your birds alive is in your best interest! MORE »

Our friends Down Under bring us this news dispatch: MORE »