Desperate times call for desperate measures. The dashing Mark Mazzetti — in his swan song for the L.A. Times, before decamping for the New York Times — brings us this report, about the Army casting a wider net in its recruiting:

The Army has a message for the growing legions of flamboyantly tattooed American teens: Uncle Sam even wants you. Facing one of the worst recruiting climates in the allvolunteer military’s history, the Army has decided to relax standards that dictate which parts of a soldier can be festooned with body art. Specifically, the service will accept recruits with tattoos on their neck and hands.

The service long had prohibited soldiers from having tattoos on places not covered by a dress uniform. But after missing Army recruiting goals last year, commanders are looking for every way possible to expand the pool of candidates.

But don’t think that they’ll let just anyone in. True, the Army has started to admit recruits “who score poorly on mental aptitude tests and who don’t have high school diplomas,” as well as “candidates with criminal records and histories of drug abuse.” With respect to body art, however, the Army still has some standards:

The directive still prohibits any tattoos that are “extremist, indecent, sexist or racist.” And, in true Army fashion, there are strict guidelines about where on the neck the tattoo may be located. Neck tattoos are allowed only on the back of the neck, defined by the Army as the area “under the ear lobe and across the back of the head.”

With the tattoo ban lifted, maybe now they’ll let Rep. Bill Thomas enlist!

For the curious among you, additional Army guidance about what tattoos pass muster appears after the jump.

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Representative Bill Thomas (R-CA) is, we assume, a cultured man-of-the-world type, so there’s no reason to be too surprised that he’s taken a few lobbyist-funded trips hither and thither. As we see on PoliticalMoneyLine, he gets around. Keep in mind, of course, that the gentleman is the head of the Ways and Means committee — and, due to Republican committee term limits, he has decided to retire from office so that he won’t have to suffer the indignity of a seat in the House with slightly less power and influence. From his trip disclosure info, a couple things stand out.

The first is the cost of his all-expenses paid trip to Colorado for an AEI forum:

(Note: Screenshot edited for size and clarity)

Uh, Bill… you’re gonna have to do a better job of hiding that kind of stuff. Spread it out or something! But hey, that’s just par-for-the-course corruption. Mostly harmless. You know, you see one big lobbyist cash gift, you seen ‘em all. It was in Bill’s trip to Scotland where we got a little more interested. The results of our investigation, after the jump.

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We may not have a celebrity sightings map yet, a la Gawker Stalker. But who knows, maybe we will someday…

In the meantime, we have to do celeb sightings the old fashioned way. Check out this week’s crop, available after the jump. And please email us with your sightings in the future, with “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject line. Thanks!

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* 80% of Americans expect a civil war in Iraq, including 7 in 10 Republicans; majorities in WP-ABC poll have no confidence in either party to find a solution. [WP]
* Democrats have failed to seize the opportunity of repeated Republican missteps; inability to settle on clear messages and strategies has hindered campaigning. [WP]
* Republican governor of South Dakota signs bill to ban nearly all abortions; doctors will face up to five years in jail for performing procedure and “legal showdown” is expected. [NYT, USAT, USAT]
* Bush seeks authority to veto individual legislative items. Bush: “These earmarks reflect special interests instead of the people’s interests.” [WP]
* Amnesty International details the ongoing torture and abuse of Iraq’s 14,000 detainees. [NYT]
* House conservatives will offer an “austere alternative” budget in attempt to gain mantle of fiscal responsibility. [NYT]
* Lawmakers’ perk of flying on corporate jets may be restricted in ethics overhaul. [USAT]
* Rep. Bill Thomas (R-Calif.) will retire. [WP, NYT, USAT]