Wonkette

Most of the Democratic candidates’ statements about Bhutto have called for calmness in Pakistan until shit gets sorted out. Hillary mentions that she and Bhutto knew each other pretty well, which some people think is evil politicizing, but these same people like to destroy Hillary Clinton in every post, no matter what she does. The statement that’s really making waves today, however, is that of the Mexican candidate, Bill Richardson. Instead of urging calmness, he says that right now, Musharraf needs to step down, and entire new Pakistani government needs to form, and we’ll like, give them a sandwich or something if they do this. MORE »

A new smartass Pizza Hut ad splices together various presidential candidates’ soundbites to make it sound like lower pizza prices are a pressing issue. Cute. But then it shows Dennis Kucinich mentioning “UFOs”, followed by a cutaway voiceover saying “CONFUSED?” That’s fucking unfair. That fattie Bill Richardson is clearly behind this, what with the tight race for sixth place heading into the home stretch.

If you’re a state employee somewhere that isn’t New Mexico, consider yourself lucky — at least you don’t have some tubby loser of a boss enslaving you! Said overseer is teh Messican candidate Bill Richardson, who is asking his employees to take some time off during the holidays to campaign for him in Iowa. No pressure though… unless you want to like, keep your job and stuff… Oops! I said nothing. MORE »

Jed fucking Bartlet has joined fellow ex-president Matthew Santos in endorsing the failure Bill Richardson for president. Both Bartlet and Santos, of course, were presidents on teevee’s The West Wing, so it was really Martin Estevez Sheen and Jimmy Smits who did the endorsing. Sheen made his announcement Sunday, while Smits’ came several months ago. Both are impressed with Richardson’s…. experience… diplom… fat…. Oh obviously it’s because they’re all goddamn Hispanic. MORE »

All personal feelings aside, Gov. Bill Richardson is really being a kiss ass. That SNL skit last month? They nailed it. He’s running for Clinton’s veep as an in-house diplomat (which is limited thinking, but smart). And his “can’t we all get along” message during the debate seemed oddly off base and out of touch with the moment (Admiral Stockdale anyone?). Now, he’s the first to raise his hand for extra credit as the Clinton hostage crisis wraps up. MORE »

Yesterday, John McCain vowed to eliminate the use of signing statements if elected. Forgot what those are? A trip back to a time when President Bush actually signed legislation into law awaits you, after the jump.

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In a new WaPo-ABC News Poll for Demrats in Iowa, Obama leads Clinton, 30 percent to 26. John “How Fast Can a Politician Die?” Edwards polls at 22 percent, and Fatpants Richardson garners 11. In other news: Mike Gravel is still running for president. [WP]

Aliens were big enough of an issue at the Democratic debate two weeks ago that Tim Russert decided to end the night with a discussion of them. But even if you laughed at Dennis Kucinich and Bill Richardson discussing their UFO sightings in their attempts to make themselves even less unelectable, they’ve now got more political verification — this time, from ex-Arizona Governor Fife Symington (”Fife,” yes), who claimed he saw a UFO in 1997. Arizona is like the rich man’s New Mexico, so if you didn’t believe Bill Richardson, you better start paying attention now. MORE »

A Rasmussen Reports poll released Wednesday has poor Hillary Clinton only 10 percentage points ahead of Barry Hussein, a significant decrease from her 16-point lead in the same poll last month. The figures are: Clinton at 34%, Obama at 24%, Edwards at 15%, BILL EM-EFFING RICHARDSON at 8%, and then some other crackers. [Rasmussen Reports]

The Bill Richardson campaign announced today that it has secured the endorsement of the All Indian Pueblo Council, who made their tough decision around a campfire one night with Survivor’s Jeff Probst overseeing. The Council can’t endorse any of the WASPy candidates, obviously — they’re still grumpy over that whole colonization thing, what with the biological decimation and all. And while they appreciate Obama’s fetching swarthiness, they like Richardson most for his Mexican heritage; they want a president with whom they can converse about the Spanish “Black Legend.” (Oh, also because Richardson promises to make an Indian Affairs cabinet position.) They make a fitting pair: both Bill Richardson and Native Americans have done a lot of service for the white man, only to see the white man not give a shit.

[Richardson for President]

Why does this guy continue to run for president of the United States when clearly his loyalties lie with the Butter Cow? Between this and not wearing the American flag pin, we must query: Are you even a REAL HUMAN, MISTER HUSSEIN?

Hand Over Heart [Snopes]

The New York Times has a delightful round-up of all the godawful campaign merchandise offered by all the leading presidential candidates… and Ron Paul, too! Soon all the kids will be wearing McCain hoodies, Obama baby-doll tees and Giuliani baseball jerseys. Our favorites by far are the extensive wares offered by Mike Huckabee’s shop, a dizzying array of merchandise featuring superb graphics meant to appeal to his followers’ lack of grammar skills (”a.Huck.i.be”) and love of flop existential Hollywood comedies (”I [Heart] Huckabee”). MORE »

Hollywood glossy Fade In has entered the political slipstream with celebrity one-on-one interviews with presidential candidates. In its current issue, the mag teams Gigli star Ben Affleck with Hillary Clinton, grinning coke monkey Oliver Stone and John (His hair was perfect) Edwards, and Bermudian Michael Douglas with the overlooked and understated Bill Richardson. Celebrities and Politicians? Hmmm…if only we could tap that sort of synergy! We could, like, launch a magazine named after a president or something. MORE »