bill o’reilly
The Pinhead And The Patriot: Liveblogging The Jon Stewart – Bill O’Reilly Debate-Like Pay-Per-View Event
Here we are, in Wonkette’s State of the Art LiveBlogoPlex, ready for an infotainment extravaganza that will test our technology, our speed-typing, and our bad habit of trying to sound like a Jon Stewart wannabe. We have our beer and our falafel, and we are ready to go. Joining us for the debate tonight is [...]
For Bill O’Reilly’s Birthday, We Will Do It Live
Bill O’Reilly, it is your birthday! You are 63 years old, maybe! Your friends at Wonket wish you the happiest of birthdays, and many felafels in your future.
Hello Beggars, Here Is Your Newt’s Last Chance Liveblog
New York, come on down! Pennsylvania! Connecticut! Rhode Island! DELAWARE! Politico says Scientology founder L. Newton Hubbard has a chance to win in Delaware, but mostly the article is like haha madeyalook! Newt is done. Roasted. On a spit with an apple. Make sure to turn him evenly, to give the skin that lovely crackle. [...]
Fox Boss’s Gotcha Too ‘Ugly’ Even For Bill O’Reilly
Fox News head and living Cthulu Roger Ailes forwarded to all his underlings some crazy chain emails from the Fox Research department saying George Soros, as a 14-year-old Jew who had been hidden by a Christian family but did not have the grace to stay in the attic, was a total Nazi collaborator who ate [...]
Whack-A-Mole: Who Will Rid Rupert Murdoch Of This Turbulent Pest?
On April 10th, Gawker announced that they had a ‘mole’ nestled in the center of Bullshit Mountain known as Fox News. Getting a job at Fox News isn’t exactly easy, and the new hire process is rather unorthodox and was thought to weed out moles. When Gawker secretly told the world of its newly found [...]
Patient Lady Calmly Explains Constitution While Bill O’Reilly Yells (VIDEO)
Admit it, sometimes you have fantasies about going on The O’Reilly Factor and schooling Ol’ Falafel Breath. But then you realize that as soon as you started with your O’Reilly School, he would just cut your mic, so you change your mind and fantasize about a nice cup of soup instead. But this brave lady [...]
Bill O’Reilly Compares Ellen Boycott to McCarthyism, Universe Explodes
Poisonous creature of the deep Bill O’Reilly did a segment on his show Tuesday about One Million Moms’ boycott of Ellen DeGeneres’ spokesperson deal with JC Penney. Strangely, the segment was, for the most optimistic among us, some evidence that world peace will happen before the world ends (which is this year). Ellen recently signed [...]
Bill O’Reilly Tries To Weaponize Umbrella When Protester Approaches Him (VIDEO)
Is Bill O’Reilly a) a touchy old jackal who attacked a Washington, DC protester and tried to have him arrested for asking O’Reilly a question on camera or b) too stupid to correctly operate an umbrella? We post the video, you decide! [TPM]
Fox News Cop-Slobberers Say Pepper Spray Is ‘Food Product’
What are the jabbering fascist insects at Fox News saying about the school cops viciously attacking America’s college students? Oh, you know, pepper spray is just a “food product,” right? And college kids are often liberals, so … totally warranted! And harmless! So we guess Bill O’Reilly and his vapid hair product sidekick are saying [...]
Bill O’Reilly’s Dumb Lincoln Book Banned By National Park Service
When you go to a national park or historic site or whatever, there’s always a gift shop with appropriate gift items. Ford’s Theatre in Washington, where a prancing confederate teabagger actor killed America’s greatest Civil War president, has just such a gift store. You could buy an Abraham Lincoln plush, we imagine, or maybe a [...]
Soldiers In Afghanistan Burn Annoying Bill O’Reilly Books Someone Sent
Some misguided wingnut (whoops, that’s a redunderancy there!) thought that the most critical entertainment items to mail all the way overseas to a bunch of U.S. troops stationed in Bumblefuck, Afghanistan were a couple boxes of crazed loofah-humper Bill O’Reilly’s book Pinheads and Patriots, presumably on the assumption that soldiers would enjoy masturbating to O’Reilly’s noxious [...]
Fox Clown Bill O’Reilly Goes Nuts When His Wife Dumps Him For a Cop
Narcissistic sex creep and fizzled-out teevee goon Bill O’Reilly apparently has a wife! Who would marry such a festering turd and try to compete with the attention of the mirror? And who would stay married to him after the worldwide exposure of his comically perverse sex tapes about a loofah, themselves the result of his [...]
Michele Bachmann Reveals Strange Disability to Bill O’Reilly
Iowan princess Michele Bachmann will not rest until she has run out of insane speech explosions to perform in front of a camera. Here she is, possibly wearing glitter eye makeup, getting mildly yelled at by Bill O’Reilly, because even he can’t stand her. You probably want to watch as little of this as possible, [...]
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