• Interior Secretary Ken Salazar is so busy, with his interior responsibilities, that after his own press conference, he pretended to pretend to be a reporter for a full 45 minutes of Robert Gibbs’ press briefing. [The Caucus]
• The ongoing O’Reilly/Alba feud in still ongoing. Its exciting denouement has already featured the two of them competing to see who can Wikipedia “World War II” the least incorrectly. [Matthew Yglesias]
• Histrionic starfucker Rod Blagojevich wants to speak at his impeachment trial, assuming the state senate allows him to do this and probably only if the proceedings will be televised, for Dignity. [CNN Political Ticker]
• Say goodbye to the carbon tax you thought you were maybe going to get, because you’re not. Happy “breathing”! [Daily Dish]
• Former Governor of Alaska Barack Obama has called out all of DC for being such gay little girls about the, what, one inch?, of snow. [Politico]

We have received a full 956 tips today about various clowns’ Twitter pages being hacked, including those of Barack Obama and Rick Sanchez, the King of Twitter. Someone thinks this official message from the Fox News about Bill “O Riley” indicates hacking, but what’s the excuse for “Turkey Taco Lettuce Wraps?” The more important question here is why anyone on this planet uses Twitter at all. (Except for Wonkette’s Twitter, which is just great.) [Towleroad]

HATS OFF to esteemed thing Parade for this sexy clip art collage of a mall Santa preparing to bone claymation Rudolph who is stepping on Bill O’Reilly as black people do their black African holiday whatevers in the background. The Jew Cookies see it all. This masterpiece, folks, accompanies “Bill O’Reilly’s Great American Holiday Quiz,” because suddenly you’re NOT ALLOWED to say “Merry Christmas” anymore, in America, because of the Prop 8 protesters. MORE »

Here’s what Newt Gingrich tells Bill O’Reilly in response to the latest Homosexual-Mormon War battles: “I think there is a gay and secular fascism in this country that wants to impose its will on the rest of us, is prepared to use violence, to use harassment. I think it is prepared to use the government if it can get control of it. I think that it is a very dangerous threat to anybody who believes in traditional religion.” Dude… they’re just Mormons. MORE »

One of the personalities everyone in America mocks on a daily basis, Bill O’Reilly, went on Jon Stewart’s political comedy program The Daily Show last night to promote his insanely titled new book, A Bold Fresh Piece of Humanity. O’Reilly tries to appear affable for the hippie crowd, but for O’Reilly that means bullying his host with the words, “Listen, Stewart,” and saying all liberals are fags with no “traditional values.” Stewart insults O’Reilly constantly, too! Culture Wars! Part 1 is above, Part 2 after the jump. MORE »

Okay we lied, Bill isn’t shouting (and we mean SHOUTING) at Barney Frank for being gay — he’s shouting at Barney Frank for being gay with our money. [YouTube via Michael Calderone]

Both Cynthia Tucker, a columnist in Atlanta, and Jon Stewart, a political comedian on the teevee, have recently pointed out Bill O’Reilly’s peculiar (self-contradictory?) stances on famous teenagers getting knocked up. When Jamie Lynn Spears got pregnant, O’Reilly shouted at her parents for not “supervising” her adequately — good parents, as we all know, should hold their daughter’s hands when she’s getting banged by some local knucklehead. When Bristol Palin got pregnant, however, O’Reilly said that it was understandable and a private matter for the family. So Tucker and Stewart called O’Reilly out on this, and O’Reilly got super mad and defensive! He then sent some Fox lackey to stalk Tucker at her home and chided Stewart for “editing.” PROBLEM SOLVED. [YouTube]

Here’s the trailer for An American Carol, which was first shown to the world on the O’Reilly Factor last night. Movie trailers rarely debut on Bill O’Reilly’s terrible show, but this is a conservative “spoof” movie starring the few Republican actors in Hollywood. The film’s target is the American Left as personified by Michael Moore, the fat clown no one has ever liked, except maybe 4-5 anonymous Internet commenters for a single week in 2003. The plot: Moore is trying to eliminate the Fourth of July holiday! But Gen. Frasier Crane simply cannot let him get away with this. The film is expected to gross $750 trillion dollars at the domestic box office.[YouTube]

Here is Bill “Pinhead” O’Reilly genially commenting on that freak-out videotape of his. Ha ha, those were the days when I was angry, O’Reilly says. Then he says you can buy more tapes of him sexually harassing his staff or something. [YouTube]

Here is angry, crazy Bill O’Reilly, back when he had hair. OMFG he is so mad about the teleprompter. Those of you who are still upset about the existence of Bill O’Reilly will surely enjoy this video clip, which has already been removed by YouTube but which has been rescued by our friends at Gawker.

Hillary Clinton’s big interview with that pinhead Bill O’Reilly airs tonight, but the transcript has “leaked” to the Political Internet already. And guess guess GUESS which terrorist religious guy they talk about? Hint: it’s not Donald Duck! MORE »