bill o’reilly

It is a bit quiet news-wise today, so let us talk about Roger Ailes’ dick. Oh sure, we could talk about any other subject under the sun besides Roger Ailes’ dick. The terrible cold weather, the latest slap on the wrist for JPMorgan, S.E. Cupp taking the early lead for dumbest column any pundit will […]

Know what we hate? The leftwing mainstream media always being so leftwing-y and librul and stroking Obama’s knob by not investimigating his super-fake birth certificate and not focusing enough on BENGHAZI (enough = 25 hours per day) and generally being lamestream. Which is why we are glad to see the recent report about how clean […]

Happy Solstice, you ugly vile little snark mob! Welcome to yet another Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we steam-clean our browser tabs, clearing out a bunch of stories that weren’t worth a full post on their own, but too stoopid to ignore altogether. Then we serve up the resulting sludge up for you to […]

You will note that we have not spent a lot of time last night or this morning subjecting you to OUTRAGE!!!1! via hellish racist bullshit about the passing of Nelson Mandela. This is because we are feeling gentle and celebratory about a great man’s life — how many people get to bear witness to an […]

Great Protector of Christmas Bill O’Reilly has these tidings of comfort and joy for you, America: Yeah, sure, Jesus fed the poor and he wants people to feed the poor. But is that any reason to feed the poor? In a spirited chat with yes-man priest Fr. Gerald Murray (with easily dismissed contributions from token […]

Hallo, Comrades! Did you wake up this morning feeling extra-communisty? We sure did, but we weren’t quite sure why we had a deep urge to fling our rich clothes to the poor, a la St. Francis of Assisi. Of course, there’s a reason we didn’t know why: We’re pinheads!!1! And if our heads are the […]

Everybody knows Bill O’Reilly is kind of a jerky guy. I mean, we know that, right? But he is not actually an insane person. He is not, for instance, Glenn Beck, spittle flying, ranting about how Barack Obama is going to line us all up outside the WWII Memorial and shoot us in our faces. […]

Happy Saturday, you slugabeds! As you blearily try to shake off the residue of last night’s revelries, pour yourself another cuppa joe and treat yourself to a serving of our weekly concatenation of clinking, clanking, caligenous junk from the interwebs that was too stoopid to ignore altogether but that didn’t quite merit a full-length post. […]

So there has been a late August GOP whineathon about how liberals were co-opting noted Republican Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. by pretending he was some sort of liberal like them, when everyone knows Martin Luther King believed in the free market and race-blindness, because Republicans are the real not-racists. Then they were all waah […]

Today in “Who’s Not Being a Giant Dumbfuck about Pot Now?” we present to you … Charles Krauthammer. Yes, the good doctor (he’s a Harvard trained psychiatrist, ya know) went on Bill O’Reilly’s terrible show sometime recently and the two began a spirited discussion on the Seattle Hempfest where cops not only handed out munch-tastic […]

Here is Fox News host Lauren Green doing what Fox News does best, channeling Fox News viewers’ mouth-breathing xenophobia into television programming. The lucky recipient is religious scholar Reza Aslan, author of Zealot: The Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth, which attempts to sort out some facts about a socialist sandal-wearing hippie Palestinian troublemaker […]

Hey, remember how we were yukking it up yesterday about Victoria Jackson’s very strange appearance on Bill O’Reilly’s Television Freakshow, where she talked about how she’s worried that communists are going to kill her and all Christians? WELL! In an article that was briefly posted to then deleted from her website — but not before […]

Victoria Jackson went on Bill O’Reilly’s teevee show Wednesday and pulled off her signature alchemy again — making whoever she’s talking to seem lucid and reasonable by comparison. (OK, it doesn’t always work.) In this latest visit to the mind of Victoria Jackson, we learn that she remembers reading Orwell in high school and that […]

Anachronistic crust beast Bill O’Reilly votes for Republicans, so why the heck don’t the kids? It must be because they are “pinheads,” or alternatively because they do not love being shamed and berated by spiteful, lascivious, hypocritical, bubble-dwelling old white men whose political philosophy can essentially be boiled down to “I got rich, ergo I […]

Bill O’Reilly is mad at President Barack Saddam Hussein for calling the Boston Massacre “a tragedy.” Therefore, ergo, ipso facto and Math Science of Words, Bill O’Reilly thinks it was the opposite of a tragedy. Therefore, ergo, ipso facto and Math Science of Words, Bill O’Reilly thinks that hundreds of people being maimed and/or dying, […]