bill o’reilly

It looks like the consensus is in: Barack Obama must resign or be impeached because he was in a six minute comedy video. The presidency is obviously damaged beyond repair. And now we can add Lincoln Authority Bill O’Reilly to the list of astute scholars of What A President Mayst Do. On his Tuesday program, […]

Sure, Bill O’Reilly has gotten some flack for asking whether a lady like Hillary Clinton has the cojones to be president. It’s bad enough that we have a president who wears mom jeans; why would we want an actual mom? Happily, Stephen Colbert has Papa Bear’s big hairy back — though not with a loofah. […]

Here is Nancy Pelosi dismissing a reporter from the Bill O’Reilly Television Zoo Crew, like a boss. “Bill O’Reilly has a quick question for you,” the reporter, who had camera filming his inquiry, began. “He ran into you at the Kennedy Center Honors recently and he said you said you would do an interview with […]

Why is it that the tears of Fox News hosts are so especially delicious? After getting huge ratings for his ranty pre-Super Bowl interview with President Obama, Bill O’Reilly and other Fox Newsers are now very, very hurt that not everybody thought it was an exercise in fair but tough-minded journalism. For instance, here’s Megyn […]

Forget comedy; Jon Stewart is quite simply one of our best media critics, a Marshal McLuhan for stoned millennials. On Tuesday’s Daily Show, he treated us to his analysis of the pre-Super Bowl interview in which “the most powerful man in the Free World sat down with Obama” for a visit to the “Fox scandal […]

Oh no she di’int! But wait! She dih’! Hillary Clinton tweetered out this amusing comment on the Sportsball Extravaganza Sunday, and while most people with normal reading comprehension read it as a comment on the coverage she’s received on the Rupert Murdoch Rage Network, as compared to the humiliating pounding of the Denver sportsball fellows, […]

Let’s say you’re Bill O’Reilly. First, you have our sympathies. Second, how is it you ever rose to a position where you’re interviewing anyone more important than the Great Neck sanitation commissioner? Do you have pictures of Roger Ailes fucking barnyard geese or playing in a drum circle in Hyde Park in 1968 with Bill […]

It is a bit quiet news-wise today, so let us talk about Roger Ailes’ dick. Oh sure, we could talk about any other subject under the sun besides Roger Ailes’ dick. The terrible cold weather, the latest slap on the wrist for JPMorgan, S.E. Cupp taking the early lead for dumbest column any pundit will […]

Know what we hate? The leftwing mainstream media always being so leftwing-y and librul and stroking Obama’s knob by not investimigating his super-fake birth certificate and not focusing enough on BENGHAZI (enough = 25 hours per day) and generally being lamestream. Which is why we are glad to see the recent report about how clean […]

Happy Solstice, you ugly vile little snark mob! Welcome to yet another Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we steam-clean our browser tabs, clearing out a bunch of stories that weren’t worth a full post on their own, but too stoopid to ignore altogether. Then we serve up the resulting sludge up for you to […]

You will note that we have not spent a lot of time last night or this morning subjecting you to OUTRAGE!!!1! via hellish racist bullshit about the passing of Nelson Mandela. This is because we are feeling gentle and celebratory about a great man’s life — how many people get to bear witness to an […]

Great Protector of Christmas Bill O’Reilly has these tidings of comfort and joy for you, America: Yeah, sure, Jesus fed the poor and he wants people to feed the poor. But is that any reason to feed the poor? In a spirited chat with yes-man priest Fr. Gerald Murray (with easily dismissed contributions from token […]

Hallo, Comrades! Did you wake up this morning feeling extra-communisty? We sure did, but we weren’t quite sure why we had a deep urge to fling our rich clothes to the poor, a la St. Francis of Assisi. Of course, there’s a reason we didn’t know why: We’re pinheads!!1! And if our heads are the […]

Everybody knows Bill O’Reilly is kind of a jerky guy. I mean, we know that, right? But he is not actually an insane person. He is not, for instance, Glenn Beck, spittle flying, ranting about how Barack Obama is going to line us all up outside the WWII Memorial and shoot us in our faces. […]

Happy Saturday, you slugabeds! As you blearily try to shake off the residue of last night’s revelries, pour yourself another cuppa joe and treat yourself to a serving of our weekly concatenation of clinking, clanking, caligenous junk from the interwebs that was too stoopid to ignore altogether but that didn’t quite merit a full-length post. […]