Wonkette

Here’s what Newt Gingrich tells Bill O’Reilly in response to the latest Homosexual-Mormon War battles: “I think there is a gay and secular fascism in this country that wants to impose its will on the rest of us, is prepared to use violence, to use harassment. I think it is prepared to use the government if it can get control of it. I think that it is a very dangerous threat to anybody who believes in traditional religion.” Dude… they’re just Mormons. MORE »

One of the personalities everyone in America mocks on a daily basis, Bill O’Reilly, went on Jon Stewart’s political comedy program The Daily Show last night to promote his insanely titled new book, A Bold Fresh Piece of Humanity. O’Reilly tries to appear affable for the hippie crowd, but for O’Reilly that means bullying his host with the words, “Listen, Stewart,” and saying all liberals are fags with no “traditional values.” Stewart insults O’Reilly constantly, too! Culture Wars! Part 1 is above, Part 2 after the jump. MORE »

Okay we lied, Bill isn’t shouting (and we mean SHOUTING) at Barney Frank for being gay — he’s shouting at Barney Frank for being gay with our money. [YouTube via Michael Calderone]

Both Cynthia Tucker, a columnist in Atlanta, and Jon Stewart, a political comedian on the teevee, have recently pointed out Bill O’Reilly’s peculiar (self-contradictory?) stances on famous teenagers getting knocked up. When Jamie Lynn Spears got pregnant, O’Reilly shouted at her parents for not “supervising” her adequately — good parents, as we all know, should hold their daughter’s hands when she’s getting banged by some local knucklehead. When Bristol Palin got pregnant, however, O’Reilly said that it was understandable and a private matter for the family. So Tucker and Stewart called O’Reilly out on this, and O’Reilly got super mad and defensive! He then sent some Fox lackey to stalk Tucker at her home and chided Stewart for “editing.” PROBLEM SOLVED. [YouTube]

Here’s the trailer for An American Carol, which was first shown to the world on the O’Reilly Factor last night. Movie trailers rarely debut on Bill O’Reilly’s terrible show, but this is a conservative “spoof” movie starring the few Republican actors in Hollywood. The film’s target is the American Left as personified by Michael Moore, the fat clown no one has ever liked, except maybe 4-5 anonymous Internet commenters for a single week in 2003. The plot: Moore is trying to eliminate the Fourth of July holiday! But Gen. Frasier Crane simply cannot let him get away with this. The film is expected to gross $750 trillion dollars at the domestic box office.[YouTube]

Here is Bill “Pinhead” O’Reilly genially commenting on that freak-out videotape of his. Ha ha, those were the days when I was angry, O’Reilly says. Then he says you can buy more tapes of him sexually harassing his staff or something. [YouTube]

Here is angry, crazy Bill O’Reilly, back when he had hair. OMFG he is so mad about the teleprompter. Those of you who are still upset about the existence of Bill O’Reilly will surely enjoy this video clip, which has already been removed by YouTube but which has been rescued by our friends at Gawker.

Hillary Clinton’s big interview with that pinhead Bill O’Reilly airs tonight, but the transcript has “leaked” to the Political Internet already. And guess guess GUESS which terrorist religious guy they talk about? Hint: it’s not Donald Duck! MORE »

FOX NEWS, THE ONLY PLACE TO BE: Hillary must have been incensed that Barack Obama would out-right-wing him by appearing on Fox News with Chris Wallace, because she’s about to one-up him: Bill O’Reilly, Wednesday night. [Drudge Report]

A Boston area cable news host thinks Bill O’Reilly is such a dangerous “mental case” that he should not be the guest of honor at the Boston/New England Emmys. This brave crusader even offers up evidence that O’Reilly’s crazy loofah rants are signs of an actual personality disorder or something. MORE »

Bill O’Reilly is shocked that Huffington Post commenters say mean things about Nancy Reagan and Tony Snow! And so he sent some little man to confront the Hate Queen Arianna Huffington about her hateful hate speech and she had no response except some jibber jabber about how “the Internet works.” MORE »

Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly usually filters out all controversial statements from his daily broadcasts, and that’s why he’s America’s favorite teevee personality. But Michelle Obama’s jihadist admission of vitriolic hatred for America yesterday may have finally pushed the stoic O’Reilly over the edge and into the World’s Worst Metaphor: “I don’t want to go on a lynching party against Michelle Obama unless there’s evidence, hard facts, that say this is how the woman really feels.” MORE »

Famous black rapper 50 Cent has chosen gender over race and endorsed Hillary Clinton. He says Obama would get shot if he were president, just like 50 Cent, because they’re both… men? Beats me. For one of these reasons, Bill O’Reilly has decided to call him a “pinhead,” which is a decidedly lame insult to throw at someone in 2008. 50 Cent will now shoot Bill O’Reilly, and I will endorse 50 Cent as a write-in candidate. Video after the jump! MORE »