Tag Archives: bill o’reilly

  Why has God forsaken him again?

My God, My God, Why Hast Thou Forsaken Bill O’Reilly’s Dumb Jesus Movie?

And Al Franken -- he's just like Judas. Or Barrabas, take your pick.
Bill O’Reilly “wrote” a “book” about killing Jesus — it is cleverly called Killing Jesus — and someone thought it would be a good idea to turn it into a teevee movie, because no one has ever made a Jesus snuff flick before. Read more on My God, My God, Why Hast Thou Forsaken Bill O’Reilly’s Dumb Jesus Movie?…
  Billo's Seen Cops Shot Too

Oh, NOW Bill O’Reilly Thinks Irresponsible Words Can Inspire Violence

Call him irresponsible...and he will DESTROY YOU.
Watch the latest video at video.foxnews.com Bill O’Reilly would just like to see a little more responsibility on the part of the media in how they cover sensitive issues, because as he’s recently discovered, language can have consequences! In a piece on the shootings of two police officers in Ferguson early Thursday morning, O’Reilly explained the link between violent words and violent deeds: “As we saw here in New York City, inflammatory rhetoric can get police officers killed.” You know, violent rhetoric like telling your black son that he needs to be extra careful around the police, or saying that police shouldn’t be shooting black people quite so often. Read more on Oh, NOW Bill O’Reilly Thinks Irresponsible Words Can Inspire Violence…
  This totally happened yes it DID SO

Intrepid Reporter Bill O’Reilly Also Did Not Lie About LA Riots in 1992 (Yes He Did)

here is a lying liar who lies
Now it is time for your daily edition of “This Totally Happened, Yes It DID SO,” from the Bill O’Reilly files! For our journey today, we will jump into our hot tub time machine and travel to Los Angeles, 1992, where six days of civil unrest occurred after four LAPD officers were acquitted of charges that they had used excessive force while arresting Rodney King. Who should appear on the scene, but Truthful Intrepid Ace Reporter Newsman Bill O’Reilly, who covered the situation as the host of Inside Edition. By this point, Bill had already demonstrated his bravery bona fides by witnessing combat in the Falklands in 1982, the murder of nuns in El Salvador in 1980, and the suicide of JFK assassination figure George de Mohrenschildt in 1977, so he was clearly the right man for this dangerous job! Read more on Intrepid Reporter Bill O’Reilly Also Did Not Lie About LA Riots in 1992 (Yes He Did)…
  fuck it we'll do it live!

Truthful Newsman Bill O’Reilly Did Too See Those Nuns Shot Dead (No He Didn’t)

O'Reilly, you magnificent bastard, we'll never read your book
Oh hey guys, some shocking and unfathomable breaking news: Bill O’Reilly repeatedly said he was somewhere and saw something when he was not in fact there and did not in fact see that thing — to the fainting couch, we know! — but it’s you liberal pinheads’ fault for not understanding the utter greatness and unimpeachable veracity of Bill O’Reilly, Hero of the People 17 Octogenarians Who Still Watch Cable News. And what did Bill-O — last seen lying about witnessing a JFK assassination figure’s suicide even though he was, you know, in a completely different city — say this time for you dumb hippies to intentionally misconstrue, because something something character assassination something something Benghazi? Read more on Truthful Newsman Bill O’Reilly Did Too See Those Nuns Shot Dead (No He Didn’t)…
  The Glassy-Eyed Knoll

Ace Reporter Bill O’Reilly Killed Lee Harvey Oswald, Ran Area 51, Co-Piloted Amelia Earhart’s Plane

Don't be silly. Everyone knows O'Reilly doesn't know how to play bass
For fans of Bill O’Reilly in full red-faced “I never said what I obviously said” mode, the next couple days should be fun. No, Bill O’Reilly was not at a Kennedy assassination figure’s suicide, Deep Throat’s parking garage, or the moon landing. Read more on Ace Reporter Bill O’Reilly Killed Lee Harvey Oswald, Ran Area 51, Co-Piloted Amelia Earhart’s Plane…
  'Danger' Is His Middle Name

Bill O’Reilly Is One Pissed War Correspondent

He is the most accuratest reporter EVAR
Bill O’Reilly just wants you to know that he has never, ever, not once in his life ever exaggerated his bravery as a war correspondent. And if you say otherwise, he will END YOU, as he let a nosy New York Times reporter know Monday. Or as the Times rather delicately puts it: Read more on Bill O’Reilly Is One Pissed War Correspondent…
  More Like Gomer Than Ernie Pyle

Everyone Who Knew Bill O’Reilly In 1982 Is A Vicious Lying Pinhead

O'Reilly, you magnificent bastard, we'll never read your book
You guys, this is really serious: It appears that virtually everyone from CBS who worked with Bill O’Reilly when he was bravely reporting on the Falklands War in 1982 is a vicious smear artist who just wants Billo to look bad! You see, Bill had said that he’d been a war correspondent and witnessed combat during the Falklands War, but then those meddling kids at Mother Jones went and pointed out that no reporters were allowed on the Falklands, and Bill had been in Buenos Aires, Argentina, over a thousand miles away. Read more on Everyone Who Knew Bill O’Reilly In 1982 Is A Vicious Lying Pinhead…
  It's about ethics in journamalism

BREAKING: Bill O’Reilly Has Possibly Lied About A Few Things

Liar? Yes, duh.
Here’s a story nobody could have predicted: Bill O’Reilly is a big fat liar. Again. And yes, we’re still reeling from the devastating breaking news too. The guy who claimed to have won Peabody awards that were in fact Polk awards that were in fact not awarded to him or for his work at all has told some untruths about his journalism experience. Say it ain’t so! Read more on BREAKING: Bill O’Reilly Has Possibly Lied About A Few Things…
  Nice time in Europe anyway

Norway’s Muslims Did Not Get Fox News Memo, Will Do Nice Things For Jews

Not EVERYTHING is terrible
We all know that every single Muslim on this planet is personally responsible for terrorism because, FACT, that’s just how it works. The only exception is if Muslims denounce acts of terror carried out in the name of their faith, which they never do except for when they do actually do that — but even then, not really, let’s face it, they’re all terrorists who should go back to their own country (even if it’s America, get out anyway) because Jesus Thomas H. Jefferson didn’t write the First Amendment of the Bible to protect them. Read more on Norway’s Muslims Did Not Get Fox News Memo, Will Do Nice Things For Jews…
  Fox Hix Nix Vax Fax

Fox News Injects Known Toxins Into Vaccination Discussion

The stupid is growing
Now that at least a part of the Wingnut Wing of the Republican Party has decided there’s a debate about basic medical facts, like whether vaccines or even hand-washing should be mandatory, it stands to reason that Fox News wants in on the fun as well. Read more on Fox News Injects Known Toxins Into Vaccination Discussion…
  Papa Bear versus Mama Grizzly

Bill O’Reilly And Sarah Palin Engage In War Of Wits. Both Lose

Sore loser, winner, whatever
Who would win a battle o’ the brains: Bill O’Reilly or Sarah Palin? Ha, that’s a trick question because the correct answer is “Who cares? Just pass the popcorn!” The other day, Bill O’Reilly, winner of all the Very Serious Journalism awards, reported that lol, a bunch of doofus idiots are pretending to maybe run for president in 2016, like Sarah Palin and Donald Trump and Chris Christie, who apparently is as absurd a maybe-candidate as Palin and Trump, though we’re not sure how that works since Christie at least has a real job, but OK, why not? Read more on Bill O’Reilly And Sarah Palin Engage In War Of Wits. Both Lose…
  We can't even count high enough

23 Times Fox News Sh*t The Bed, You Are Welcome

So you know how Fox News, America’s No. 1 News Source for Your Racist Uncle, got into that little dustup with Le Gay Paree over, you know, how France and England had created a bunch of Muslims-only Shariah paradises where good and decent Christian folk weren’t allowed, which, well, wasn’t compleeeeeeeetely accurate? Of course you do. Dok told you all about it, and we know that you read this mommyblog and recipe hub with the fervor of a teenage boy on Pornhub. And so you also know that the mayor of Paris is not entirely thrilled: Read more on 23 Times Fox News Sh*t The Bed, You Are Welcome…
  Derp Overload

How Are Wingnuts Reacting To Paris Massacre? You’d Be Surprised! (No You Wouldn’t)

And Billo was one of the more restrained ones
While Parisians took to the streets with their “Je Suis Charlie” signs yesterday to quietly express solidarity with the murdered satirists and bystanders at the offices of Charlie Hebdo, the American Wingnut-Industrial Complex was in Full Panic Mode, explaining exactly why we all need to pay attention to this horrific terrorist act by three people that all Muslims bear responsibility for. Fox News’s Bill O’Reilly actually offered one of the tamer bits of stupid on the attack, complaining that when he condemned the murders, Barack Obama was actually downplaying the Muslim threat. The president had expressed confidence that France’s commitment to freedom of speech “is something that can’t be silenced by the senseless violence of the few.” Ah, but Mr. Obama has it all wrong, said O’Reilly: Read more on How Are Wingnuts Reacting To Paris Massacre? You’d Be Surprised! (No You Wouldn’t)…
  Best damn Elizabeth Warren ever

Elizabeth Warren Is Our 2014 Legislative Badass Of The Year, Obviously Duh

How much do we heart the senator and perfessor of Massachusetts, the greatest and bestest Elizabeth Warren who ever Elizabeth Warrened? Pretty much all. Sure, there are a few — a very few — non-Elizabeth Warrens in the Senate who aren’t too bad for being non-Elizabeth Warrens. Bernie Sanders, the socialist senator from Vermont, isn’t too bad at badassing and makes a mighty fine runner-up for 2014 Legislative Badass. Read more on Elizabeth Warren Is Our 2014 Legislative Badass Of The Year, Obviously Duh…
 

Fox News Thinker Greg Gutfeld: Stephen Colbert Would Be Nothing Without Us (And Our F**kups)

You're looking at a guy who knows cool
Following Stephen Colbert’s big finale on the Colbert Report, the thought leaderers of Fox’s The Five shared their thoughts on Colbert’s sendoff. Dana Perino and Kimberly Guilfoyle thought it would have been a nice touch if Bill O’Reilly had been included in the big sing-along, apparently unaware that Colbert had said earlier in his final week that “no one’s going to pay me to watch [O’Reilly] anymore, so fuck that noise!” Read more on Fox News Thinker Greg Gutfeld: Stephen Colbert Would Be Nothing Without Us (And Our F**kups)…
  A Loofah Under Every Tree

How is Bill O’Reilly Ruining Christmas This Year?

Fuck this guy. Seriously, fuck this guy.
Gather ’round, Wonketeers, because today we’re dropping not one but two Bill O’Reilly-shaped turds in yr stockings — it’s a Festivus miracle! We begin with O’Reilly’s remarks on Late Night with Seth Meyers. Read more on How is Bill O’Reilly Ruining Christmas This Year?…
  You Didn't Bill-O That

Bill O’Reilly: Elizabeth Warren Will Seize The Means Of Production And Execute The Kulaks

Watch the latest video at video.foxnews.com Bill O’Reilly was in fine form Tuesday night, addressing the horrors that might result if Elizabeth Warren somehow became President of the United States. You see, if the mildly progressive centrist Barack Obama is a flaming socialist, which he is, then Elizabeth Warren is obviously some kind of super-extra-socialist, so much farther to the left than Karl Marx himself that she may actually exist only in the infra-red portion of the spectrum. O’Reilly laid out the problem with Warren for the Real American People, or as he explained, the threat of Read more on Bill O’Reilly: Elizabeth Warren Will Seize The Means Of Production And Execute The Kulaks…
  Isn't It Iconic? A Little Too Iconic.

Will Fox News Accuse Ferguson Of Doing War On Christmas?

2014 America in one photo
Just a quick question for Todd Starnes and Bill O’Reilly: Would this photo be better or worse if the sign said “Merry Christmas”? Our guess: If Fox News does mention this sign, one of the resident Professionally Oppressed Christians will argue that perhaps Ferguson brought some of the misery on itself. If only they’d reminded the young hotheads — the rioters, of course, not the dudes firing tear gas willy nilly — that Jesus is the Reason for the Season, they’d have calmed down and gone home. We can almost guarantee we will see someone claim that in all sincerity. Read more on Will Fox News Accuse Ferguson Of Doing War On Christmas?…
  Onward Judeo-Christian Soldiers

Bill O’Reilly Will Fight All The Muslims In The War On Christmas

Seems it comes earlier every year
It’s that time of year again. The first snows are falling, the college kids are planning their trips home for Thanksgiving break, and the calls for impeaching the president are stretching into their sixth year. And so, it it time for the festive celebration of the War On Christmas, that annual ritual where Bill O’Reilly and all of Fox News protect the rights of Christians to scream “Merry Christmas — NOT HAPPY HOLIDAYS!” in the name of the Prince of Peace. Read more on Bill O’Reilly Will Fight All The Muslims In The War On Christmas…
  i remember you

Ebola? What Ebola?

Sigh. One day...
Bowling Ebola doctor Craig Spencer is set to be released from Bellevue Hospital Center in New York sometime today so he can continue his reign of disease-spreading terror that was so rudely interrupted by health officials determined to keep him from infecting the city’s entire population by spewing hemorrhagic-fever-laced vomit all over it. Spencer has reportedly been cured of the ‘bola and has felt well enough in recent days to ride an exercise bike and play his banjo, if anyone still needs a reason to hate him. Read more on Ebola? What Ebola?…