Wonkette

Famous black rapper 50 Cent has chosen gender over race and endorsed Hillary Clinton. He says Obama would get shot if he were president, just like 50 Cent, because they’re both… men? Beats me. For one of these reasons, Bill O’Reilly has decided to call him a “pinhead,” which is a decidedly lame insult to throw at someone in 2008. 50 Cent will now shoot Bill O’Reilly, and I will endorse 50 Cent as a write-in candidate. Video after the jump! MORE »

Word around the campus of St. Anslem’s Preparatory Training Schoolshire is that the big Manchester afterparty will be thrown by… Rudy 9iu11ani?? At least that’s what the Journalistic Reporters have been saying — they won’t say much else, because there’s some weird fear that Wonkette commenters would… make fun of them? Strange.
I may or may not liveblog this first of two debates, because Fox News has its OWN WING here, and it seems Bill O’Reilly is in a pleasantly irritable mood. I’ma go check that out. But please feel free to screw around in the open comment thread coming next.

It’s been only two days since George Clooney was offered the lead in the film adaptation of GI Joe, and it’s already mired on controversy. Variety’s Wilshire & Washington blogger Ted Johnson reports: “I love it when controversies erupt over movies still in production or pre-production. You can almost always guarantee that those outraged haven’t seen the script, an outline, or even know any of those involved. And you can almost always be sure that the furor is much ado about nothing. Example: “The Da Vinci Code. MORE »

Conservative thingy WorldNetDaily.com is launching the anti-War on Christmas extra early this year, lest “the American Civil Liberties Union grinches” kidnap and neuter Santa Claus while his minions aren’t watching. Its website hosts an exclusive store for atheist-repelling paraphernalia. Among the items are a magnetic bumper sticker, a magnetic bumper sticker, an “auto magnet,” a magnetic bumper sticker, a Jesus bracelet and a magnetic bumper sticker. Those are all of the items, in fact, but inflatable green-and-red Bill O’Reilly fuckdolls should be available November 1. Because if they aren’t, Jesus will be retroactively unborn.

Christmas-defense kit [WorldNetDaily]

The triangular parry-thrust between conservative commentator Michelle Malkin, Geraldo Rivera and Bill O’Reilly — who for the first time in his stupid life has come across as the least douchey in a group setting– has resulted in Malkin quitting her frequent side gig as an O’Reilly Factor co-host. Rivera hurt Malkin’s feelings (she sometimes has them!) when he told the Boston Globe recently that Malkin was “the most vile, hateful commentator I’ve ever met…. It’s good she’s in D.C. and I’m in N.Y. I’d spit on her if I saw her.” Rivera sort of apologized later during an appearance on the Factor, but the publicity has led Malkin to the conclusion that being an interviewer-subject on teevee offers much less self-satisfaction than viciously attacking people online (agreed).

This is no conjecture on our part, either: Michelle Malkin sent out a heartfelt e-mail explaining her quitting! MORE »

Apparently Bill O’Reilly has been going on about Daily Kos lately, because he’s a good three years behind everyone else on the internet. Using the typical marginalizing strategy of conflating the site with its craziest commenters, O’Reilly has compared the site to the Klan and the Nazi party — he even got JetBlue to withdraw sponsorship of Kos’ little convention! Naturally, the “Kossacks” are responding by proving conclusively that they are just as fucking crazy as the idiot tv guy says they are. MORE »

* Democrats would make Tim Johnson get a brain transplant before letting Tom Daschle run again. [Election Central]
* Tom Tancredo loves guns so much he felt the need to mo-vlog about it. [Congress Blog]
* It’s an open secret among shitty journalists that Ron Paul will talk to anybody. [YouTube]
* Corrupt-as-shit Justice Department thinks Ted Stevens and his frankenhouse are too corrupt to listen to. [Think Progress]
* Bill O’Reilly: didja hear he’s conservative? [HuffPo]
* In Barry Hussein Obama’s America, everyone can get a new liver when they need it. [Scrappleface]
* Wonkette “West Coast Bureau Chief” Ken Layne talks shit about Our Leaders on “America’s Earliest Morning Show with Peter Tilden” every Thursday morning at maybe 3:20 a.m. Eastern time? ABC News & Talk Channel (SIRIUS-143 / XM-124). [KABC-AM]

* Rudy for prez: because he will never put a de-clawed ferret into his ass. [Horse's Mouth]
* Hillary changes private jets more often than you change underwear, even has the days sewn in them like you. [NYP]
* “The only thing that can save this country is a military coup.” [NRO]
* Oprah gets on the Barry Hussein train. [Newsmax]
* Military took away the porn and now goes for the blogs. Way fight for fascism, fuckers. [Wired]
* The Speaker of the Palestinian Legislative Council would like to reiterate his point in case anyone is unsure: Death to America. [Jerusalem Post]
* Bill O’Reilly insults someone every 6.8 seconds. [Romenesko]

MORE »

* If a Presidential campaign raises more money when the candidate doesn’t show up, should it exist? [Election Central]
* Dick Cheney shops for his extradition-free retirement pad. [HuffPo]
* Top Pentagon brass craft backup plan for an Iran invasion — codename: golf course. [American Leftist]
* Bill O’Reilly enjoys being called “a barbarian” publicly, “Barbara” privately. [C&L]
* West Virginia congressmen love to dig on swine. [Hill Blog]
* The Kucinich campaign is nothing but a song and dance show. [PrezVid]
* Campaign mangers to tire of yelling, “Get the intern to fix the fucking wiki,” before 2008 even begins. [Tech President]