Wonkette

Here’s a picture from our Wonkette “Saturday” operative. It is the worst car in the world, and America should be ashamed of it. It’s “rallying” around the DNC Rules and Bylaws Committee at some Marriott in northwest Washington D.C., along with various comical Hilltards and tragically counter-protesting Obamatards. Somehow the only result of the meeting will be the War in Iran. But are they making any progress? Perchance! MORE »

One’s a Democrat, one’s a Republican, and together they’re Two Senators from Florida! Between that and the ’80s production values, maybe some Hollywood hotshot can round up a few writer scabs and turn this thing into the new Golden Girls. [YouTube]

Here we see Florida Senator and Astronut Bill Nelson tell his Senate colleagues about the good old days. MORE »

* Harry Reid tells Tim Johnson to “stay alive, no matter what occurs.” [WP, NYT, WSJ]
* And about 50% of people who Democrats don’t depend on for a tenuous majority in the Senate who also have arteriovenous malformations do make complete recoveries, “more or less.” [WP]
* But even if he’s totally “Schiavo’d,” the Senate has never “forced a member out of office because of a physical or mental inability to serve.” [LAT]
* President Bush couldn’t care less about you, is playing for your grandkids approval ratings — just like Harry Truman did. [WP]
* Condoleezza Rice thinks Iran and Syria’s asking prices for help in Iraq are too high, she’s only willing to offer economic incentives and a player to be named later. [WP]
* To stay “Army Strong,” top General recommends getting “Army Big.” [WP, NYT]
* White House pissed at Sen. Bill Nelson for going to Damascus, “undermining democracy in the region.” Still glad to have him and not Katherine Harris. [NYT]
* Pastry chef blows Laura Bush’s sugar, is hired at White House. [NYT]

We’re getting to this important news a whole 15 hours late, due to everything and everybody going insane. MORE »

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We were hoping somebody would ask this question at Rumsfeld’s press conference today, but no such luck, as usual. (Wonkette doesn’t even have the Pentagon clearance for Craigslist booty calls.)

Here’s what little we know: Late Friday, a crazy six-alarm fire gutted the three-story Building 54, where the 902nd Military Intelligence Group did its special work. That work included infiltrating a group of Quaker pacifists, running allegedly-banned Total Information Awareness and TALON surveillance monstrosities that DARPA was forced to hide somewhere else, and conducting “counterintelligence activities in support of Army commanders and to protect Army forces, secrets and technologies by detecting, identifying, neutralizing and exploiting foreign intelligence services and international terrorist threats.”

We’ll see if this has anything to do with that Pentagon vs. CIA vs. NSA secret war we keep hearing about, after the jump. ECNATSNEPPAH SI ECNO …

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According to the Palm Beach Post, US Senator Bill Nelson has received ten endorsements from Florida newspapers for his reelection campaign. His opponent, Katherine Harris, has received none. MORE »

If democracy is just some stupid game actually decided in advance by God — which is better than the current system in Florida — then Katherine Harris is clearly on the side of The Devil. MORE »

Intern Nick is on vacation this week (along with the rest of DC), so your dedicated editors had to compile this edition of Washington’s favorite unverified stalking guide all by themselves. Pity us, and learn where Helen Thomas eats, and the places Robert Novak has been known to walk by. Also: did you know that C-Span anchors are celebrities? Brian Lamb sure didn’t! That was the week that was, after the jump.

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It had to be done. MORE »