Tag Archives: bill maher

  Barack Who?

Bill Maher Right About A Thing

Sure he's a jerk. And he's dead on this time.
Bill Maher can really be a self-important, sanctimonious asshole at times. Thankfully, this is not one of them. On Real Time this week, Maher laid into all the Democrats who have been running as if Barack Obama were the ineffectual dictator Republicans have said he is. Read more on Bill Maher Right About A Thing…
  you can sagan that again

Neil DeGrasse Tyson Being Super Mean To Idiots Again

Neil deGrasse Tyson took a moment on Bill Maher’s HBO show to reply to creationist nutter Ken Ham, who recently said that we shouldn’t explore space because not only are aliens Not Out There, but if they are, we must avoid them because they’re bound for the Everlasting Lake of Fire. Read more on Neil DeGrasse Tyson Being Super Mean To Idiots Again…
  all the derp that's fit to herp

Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Tour Of The Terrible

Welcome to another edition of Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we steam-clean our browser tabs and scrape together all the stories that weren’t worth their own posts, but were too stupid to ignore altogether. We recommend you numb yourself against the dumbassery that is sure to follow. Read more on Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Tour Of The Terrible…
  bill donahue knows a bigot when he sees one

Fringe Catholic Screamer Bill Donohue Wants Bill Maher Fired Because He Let Dan Savage Remind People That Priests Raped Kids

Bill Donohue, the president and possible sole member of the Catholic League, has called for HBO to cancel Real Time With Bill Maher after the most recent show featured Wonket Pal Dan Savage, who very offensively and unfairly suggested that Catholic priests do sex on children. Donohue, who has a history of downplaying sexual abuse by priests, is likely to be about as successful in getting Bill Maher off the air as he was in his epic battle against Jon Stewart last year. We predict that in two weeks, after nothing has happened to Bill Maher, Donohue will declare victory and ask for some donations to continue his important work of complaining about the Simpsons. Read more on Fringe Catholic Screamer Bill Donohue Wants Bill Maher Fired Because He Let Dan Savage Remind People That Priests Raped Kids…
  Freedumb isn't Free!

A Children’s Treasury Of Pundits Saying Stupid Things About The NSA This Weekend

Unless you have been living in a cave on Mars with your eyes closed and your fingers in your ears — an increasingly attractive option, we’ll admit — you are aware that the Guardian and the Washington Post confirmed that the NSA has been spying on Americans’ phone calls, Facebook accounts, Google searches, emails, iTunes playlists, Skype video chats and AOL chat logs for, oh, five or six years now, give or take, no big deal. Of course, this revelation was not only the scoop of the century, but also a fantastic opportunity for everyone to take to the internet and announce THIS IS WHAT I THINK ABOUT PRISM AND THE NSA ETC. Some of the commentary was valuable and interesting but some consisted of privileged morons mansplaining to us about why it is totally OK for the government to monitor our virtual comings and goings. Would it shock you to learn that Andrew Sullivan, Bill Maher, a Forbes columnist, and a couple other white guys are TOTALLY OK with it, because the NSA never gets anything wrong, and that our national security apparatus only scoops up bad guys? Why all the worrying? Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Pundits Saying Stupid Things About The NSA This Weekend…
  a deck full of race cards

Allen West Running From Marxist-Bigot Lynch Mob, Save Him With Campaign Donations Immediately

You guys, we gotta help Allen West. You remember him — he’s the congressman who spends his time attacking MSNBC’s patriotism and celebrating D-Day while remaining completely silent on actual issues like military rape legislation. He’s got no problem saying we should just be chaining Muslims to the side of rockets because their religion doesn’t count and who cares if Muslims aren’t actually trying to kidnap him. He haaaates Islam. Hates it like chameleons hate paisley. But he was in the Army so it’s not a bad thing, in fact it’s an awesome thing, and we should all be very thankful that he tortured an Iraqi policeman. Earlier this week, this Great American Hero was attacked. He was the subject of a vicious, unforgivable, horrifying racial statement, and Allen West gets very agitated when someone makes a sweeping generalization about a group of people Allen West belongs to. And, to add painful insult to crippling injury, this sweeping generalization came from the most vile of Obama campaign staff members: Bill Fucking Maher. Read more on Allen West Running From Marxist-Bigot Lynch Mob, Save Him With Campaign Donations Immediately…
  dreamcatching

Palin Might Run For President Because Of Raging Non-Limbaugh Misogynists

Sarah Palin went on — or should we say, was transmitted through someone’s phone-toy in the direction of — CNN during Tuesday’s Super Snoozeday parade, and proclaimed that who knows whether she’ll run for president today, tomorrow, or after the Mayan apocalypse, but anything is possible because Americans can do anything they put their minds to, emphasis on “minds” and excluding jobs. Later on, while Romney was disappointing America, CNN spent a good portion of the long process of cell degeneration we call life talking about Palin some more, with what little comprehensible English was made available by her mouth yesterday. Conclusion: Sarah Palin is an alive person. Plus, hates misogynists as long as they are liberal. Read more on Palin Might Run For President Because Of Raging Non-Limbaugh Misogynists…
  sexy contests

Which Terrible Picture of Bill Maher vs. The Pope Won Our Ticket Contest?

Because of the upcoming April 1 performance of teevee’s anti-Jesus person Bill Maher at the Bethesda Strathmore Music Center, we had a pair of tickets to give away to the Wonkette reader who could make the most troubling computer image of Maher mud wrestling St. Joseph Ratzinger, the famous Nazi Hero who recently became the Pope of Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich. Which picture won the tickets? Was it this one? Or was it one of the other Top Six Finalists? WHO WILL WIN, etc. Read more on Which Terrible Picture of Bill Maher vs. The Pope Won Our Ticket Contest?…
  sexy contests

Wonkette Art Contest: Win Bill Maher Tickets With Your Terrible Computer Picture

Do you have “Microsoft Paint” on your iPhone? Then you can be a prize-winning published artist! (Maybe.) Wonkette and 9:30 Club/IMP Promotions invite you to take part in our exciting “Make an image of Bill Maher wrestling the Pope” ticket giveaway. Read more on Wonkette Art Contest: Win Bill Maher Tickets With Your Terrible Computer Picture…
  insufferable baby-name activists

Bill Maher Is Afraid of Muslim Anchor Babies

Bill Maher wants to know if it’s okay that he is afraid of Muslim babies. Why won’t they get off his lawn, these Muslim babies? They are trying to take over his lawn (“England”) and his old-man garden gnomes (atheists) with their adorable baby Sharia. Oh, you want this man to back down from his hatred of people who believe in something? He shall not, because he is Bill Maher. Groan. Read more on Bill Maher Is Afraid of Muslim Anchor Babies…
  satan works in mysterious ways

Christine O’Donnell Was Actually a Practicing Witch

Do you remember, a few days ago, when we MADE UP A COMEDIC STORY implying that Christine O’Donnell practices witchcraft? (It was a masturbation joke, somehow, like most mid-September jokes about Christine O’Donnell.) Well, guess what? Christine O’Donnell was actually a witch! But she didn’t “join a coven,” she says, in actual video from the show Politically Incorrect, which is the main source of hilarious/insane Christine O’Donnell quotes from the 1990s. Oh yeah and one time, she says she had a “little midnight picnic” of blood on a “Satanic altar,” as part of a “date.” This is also on the video you must now watch. Read more on Christine O’Donnell Was Actually a Practicing Witch…
  discourse on the origin of inequality

Meghan McCain And Bill Maher Refuse To Let Willow Palin And David Letterman Drive Another News Cycle

Histrionic personality disorder heiress Meghan McCain joined Bill Maher and Friends on the Bill Maher comedy program last night. First Daughter, First Love remains mercifully unghostwritten as of yet, so why is beautiful young Meg McCabe such a commanding presence on America’s teevee programs and digital news traditions as of late? Verily, a mystery! The Bill Maher comedy show doesn’t know either, as evidenced by the producers’ exquisitely accurate description of our gal’s qualifications, pictured above. Dumb Matt Yglesias must be “in” with the HBO web interns! Read more on Meghan McCain And Bill Maher Refuse To Let Willow Palin And David Letterman Drive Another News Cycle…
  water cooler topics!

LET’S JUST FUEL THIS MEGHAN MCCAIN/ANN COULTER FEUD FOR A FEW MORE MINUTES AND THEN KILL OURSELVES: Speaking of death, have you heard about this thing where Ann Coulter and Bill Maher are on a “debate tour” with Mark Halperin serving as moderator? Does one actually pay to attend this? In any event, Halperin asked Coulter today in New York what she thought about Meghan McCain’s trite, confused stream of spittle yesterday, and Coulter was like, “Who cares?” and then Halperin went and begged Drudge for a link while Bill Maher complained about Jesus. Next stop, Boston, or wherever. [Raw Story] Read more on …
  fatwa on everyone

Iraqi Ayatollah’s Website Hacked By Bill Maher Loyalist Militia

While FBI and Secret Service agents continue to investigate how Sarah Palin could be so retarded as to choose “Wasilla high” as the answer to her “Forgot your password?” question on Yahoo! e-mail, another (less important) “hacking” has rocked America’s most placid colony, Iraq. The website of Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani, the most powerful ever Shia cleric, has been pillaged by a gang of rascally Internet teenagers called “Group XP,” named to honor their favorite version of Microsoft Windows. The hackers have posted on their conquered site a YouTube of Bill Maher mocking the Ayatollah. WE BET THE AYATOLLAH WILL THINK THIS PRANK IS FUNNY AND JUST LAUGH IT OFF. [Colorado Independent] Read more on Iraqi Ayatollah’s Website Hacked By Bill Maher Loyalist Militia…
 

Answers From Above

* A bird took a shit on President Bush. Then he wiped the shit off. [AmericaBlog] * Fathers keep their daughters out of the clear heels by not naming them “Monica.” [Political Arithmetik] * John Edwards passes the gay test. [Pandagon] * “Al Gore has transcended.” [HuffPo] * Notoriously bad courtesy laugher Ron Paul to be put to the test by Bill Maher. [TechPresident] * John McCain, Barack Obama, Matt Drudge, and a bong. [Election Central] Read more on Answers From Above…
 

Rumors On The Internets: 69 Degrees

* Mike Huckabee’s overextended metaphor is charmingly revealing to people who don’t use the oven to heat their apartments. [Newsweek] * If politically correct means “not being an asshole,” then there is one funny thing about Bill Maher’s show. [Pandagon] * McCain online campaign event too boring to waste the two clicks. [techPresident] * Newt Gingrich really likes Chuck Schumer’s book. [Freakonomics] * Walter Reed doctors still using pirate-era technology. [C&L] * Sister’s boyfriend’s buddy’s cousin heard from a soldier at Ft. Stewart that they’re deploying to Iran any second now. [TAPPED] Read more on Rumors On The Internets: 69 Degrees…
 

Another Political Commentator Says Something Provocative!

Forgetting for a moment that teevee political commentators are paid to be obnoxious, we will now cover Bill Maher’s provocative comments about how much better off we’d all be had that bomb only killed Dick Cheney in Afghanistan. Read more on Another Political Commentator Says Something Provocative!…
 

Gossip Roundup: Ushered Out

* Heard on the Hill: Former NYPost writer/John Kerry flack Vince Morris appointed to the D.C. Sports and Entertainment Commission, will not be allowed to bring lawmakers to RFK for free… Rep. Edolphus Towns (D-N.Y.) proposed a bill calling for restroom parity in federal buildings. [Roll Call] * Reliable Source: Katie Couric is in this month’s Capital File, draped in expensive designer clothes… White House chief usher Gary Walters is resigning after 37 years, seven presidents. He will testify at the Scooter Libby trial later this week. [WP] * Yeas and Nays: Bill Maher was in DC last week. He and Mr. T staged a daring rescue of a kidnapped Adam Baldwin… Tucker Carlson did not attend a “Dancing With the Stars” performance at the Verizon Center. [Examiner] Read more on Gossip Roundup: Ushered Out…
 

Asshole Outs Asshole, CNN Half-Assedly Censors

Last night, we brought you the thrilling news that Bill Maher “outed” RNC chair Ken Mehlman. On Larry King Live, of all places. CNN apparently caught what Larry missed (“you don’t go to the same bathhouses I do”), but only in time to severely edit the West Coast feed. Read more on Asshole Outs Asshole, CNN Half-Assedly Censors…
 

Larry King Live: Bill Maher ‘Outs’ Ken Mehlman

RNC chairman Ken Mehlman has never been accused of being heterosexual. But Bill Maher shocked Larry King on Wednesday night by mentioning what has only been rumored in Washington for years: Mehlman is (allegedly) a gay homosexual. Read more on Larry King Live: Bill Maher ‘Outs’ Ken Mehlman…
 

Rumors On The Internets: The Plantation Room

Rick Santorum has decided he doesn’t want Pennsylvania’s tax dollars used to finance genocide anymore. [The Carpetbagger Report] And he also thinks George Bush is a big “soft on terror” pussy. [The Swamp] Read more on Rumors On The Internets: The Plantation Room…
 

Gossip Roundup: Supposedly Funny People

Reliable Source: Linda Sanchez is very funny. We were there and Grover Norquist wuz robbed… “Reliable Source” would not out anyone, unless it somehow involves Cafe Milano. [WP] Yeas and Nays: Bill Maher, who creeps us out, enjoys Washington’s many fine strip clubs… Chris Matthews is finally silenced, but unfortunately it’s by Robin Williams. [Examiner] Read more on Gossip Roundup: Supposedly Funny People…