Wonkette

While FBI and Secret Service agents continue to investigate how Sarah Palin could be so retarded as to choose “Wasilla high” as the answer to her “Forgot your password?” question on Yahoo! e-mail, another (less important) “hacking” has rocked America’s most placid colony, Iraq. The website of Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani, the most powerful ever Shia cleric, has been pillaged by a gang of rascally Internet teenagers called “Group XP,” named to honor their favorite version of Microsoft Windows. The hackers have posted on their conquered site a YouTube of Bill Maher mocking the Ayatollah. WE BET THE AYATOLLAH WILL THINK THIS PRANK IS FUNNY AND JUST LAUGH IT OFF. [Colorado Independent]

* A bird took a shit on President Bush. Then he wiped the shit off. [AmericaBlog]
* Fathers keep their daughters out of the clear heels by not naming them “Monica.” [Political Arithmetik]
* John Edwards passes the gay test. [Pandagon]
* “Al Gore has transcended.” [HuffPo]
* Notoriously bad courtesy laugher Ron Paul to be put to the test by Bill Maher. [TechPresident]
* John McCain, Barack Obama, Matt Drudge, and a bong. [Election Central]

* Mike Huckabee’s overextended metaphor is charmingly revealing to people who don’t use the oven to heat their apartments. [Newsweek]
* If politically correct means “not being an asshole,” then there is one funny thing about Bill Maher’s show. [Pandagon]
* McCain online campaign event too boring to waste the two clicks. [techPresident]
* Newt Gingrich really likes Chuck Schumer’s book. [Freakonomics]
* Walter Reed doctors still using pirate-era technology. [C&L]
* Sister’s boyfriend’s buddy’s cousin heard from a soldier at Ft. Stewart that they’re deploying to Iran any second now. [TAPPED]

Forgetting for a moment that teevee political commentators are paid to be obnoxious, we will now cover Bill Maher’s provocative comments about how much better off we’d all be had that bomb only killed Dick Cheney in Afghanistan. MORE »

* Heard on the Hill: Former NYPost writer/John Kerry flack Vince Morris appointed to the D.C. Sports and Entertainment Commission, will not be allowed to bring lawmakers to RFK for free… Rep. Edolphus Towns (D-N.Y.) proposed a bill calling for restroom parity in federal buildings. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Katie Couric is in this month’s Capital File, draped in expensive designer clothes… White House chief usher Gary Walters is resigning after 37 years, seven presidents. He will testify at the Scooter Libby trial later this week. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Bill Maher was in DC last week. He and Mr. T staged a daring rescue of a kidnapped Adam Baldwin… Tucker Carlson did not attend a “Dancing With the Stars” performance at the Verizon Center. [Examiner]

Last night, we brought you the thrilling news that Bill Maher “outed” RNC chair Ken Mehlman. On Larry King Live, of all places. CNN apparently caught what Larry missed (”you don’t go to the same bathhouses I do”), but only in time to severely edit the West Coast feed. MORE »

RNC chairman Ken Mehlman has never been accused of being heterosexual. But Bill Maher shocked Larry King on Wednesday night by mentioning what has only been rumored in Washington for years: Mehlman is (allegedly) a gay homosexual. MORE »

• Rick Santorum has decided he doesn’t want Pennsylvania’s tax dollars used to finance genocide anymore. [The Carpetbagger Report]

• And he also thinks George Bush is a big “soft on terror” pussy. [The Swamp]
• Bill Maher’s Halloween costume: almost as original as his show. [Shakespeare's Sister]
• Michael J. Fox’s lust for baby harvesting causes at least 6 people to drop Back to the Future from their Netflix queues. [Pandagon]
• Osama’s dead, or in Djibouti. [The Jawa Report]
• David Letterman channels a time when he was funnier, meaner than Bill O’Reilly. [Power, Seduction, and War, C&L]
• Wolf Blitzer has more than just a brown nose. [Whiskey Bar]

• Reliable Source: Linda Sanchez is very funny. We were there and Grover Norquist wuz robbed… “Reliable Source” would not out anyone, unless it somehow involves Cafe Milano. [WP]
• Yeas and Nays: Bill Maher, who creeps us out, enjoys Washington’s many fine strip clubs… Chris Matthews is finally silenced, but unfortunately it’s by Robin Williams. [Examiner]
• Rush and Molloy: Dennis Hastert was forced to cancel a fundraiser at 21. Due to secret gay shame. Or something. [NYDN]

MORE »

* Everyone wants to have dinner with Condi, but no one wants Bush’s sloppy seconds. [Akron Beacon Journal] MORE »