Wonkette

Here’s the fourth paragraph in today’s offering from New York Times “lightning rod conservative” columnist Bill Kristol: “The Siegessäule is an impressive structure (especially if you have a militaristic bent). It’s a large fluted sandstone column on a base of polished red granite, topped by a golden statue of winged Victory. Completed in 1873, it commemorates Prussia’s victories in the previous decade over Denmark, Austria and France. The column was lengthened and relocated to its present site in 1939.” Well now you know more about the large cock in the middle of Berlin from which Barack Obama will deliver his Speech this week. This is what Kristol does to us. MORE »

Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay — whose accomplishments include outsourcing legislation to lobbyists, money laundering, playing golf with Jack Abramoff, and ultimately destroying any hope for his party to regain Congressional majorities in the near future — is now going on some measly radio show calling Barack Obama a “Marxist.” Silly Tom! That kind of blather belongs on the tawdry op-ed pages of the New York Times, not on America’s radio. [The Hill]

New York Times “lightning rod conservative” columnist Bill Kristol’s youth and young manhood was exactly this: Manhattan prep school, Harvard, more Harvard. Since then, he has devoted his career to sending other young people to die in catastrophic wars based on a false ideology of pre-emptive regime change. But as he notes in his column today, despite these great achievements, he can’t write an adequate commencement speech! MORE »

So what was the worst story for Barack Obama last week? Losing West Virginia, probably? That means it’ll have to be the topic of New York Times “lightning rod conservative” columnist Bill Kristol’s latest fare. In today’s column, Kristol makes fun of Obama’s massive defeat among Bitters in West Virginia, while making another terrible error in the process. MORE »

Here is New York Times “lightning rod conservative” columnist Bill Kristol with his latest Monday babble: “But I do think I can speak for most of my fellow right-wingers when I say this: We once looked forward with unambivalent glee to the fall of the house of Clinton. Many of us still do. But we also see the liberal media failing to give Hillary Clinton the respect she deserves. So, since we conservatives believe in giving credit where credit is due, it falls to us to praise Hillary.” We have put this through our Kristol Translator and you may read the result after the jump. MORE »

Quiet ye unenlightened Cretans, for the man’s tortured quill is ablaze with righteous argumentation! We speak of New York Times “lightning rod conservative” columnist Bill Kristol, of course, the most inquisitive and trenchant commentator in Western Hemispherical History! For his Monday column he tackles whatever the big Saturday news happened to be (as per usual). In this case it’s Barack Obama’s inflammatory selection of the adjective “bitter.” As used in a sentence in liberal San Francisco! Most conservative commentators have been running with the nitwit’s interpretation: that Obama is an unforgivable liberal elitist elitist liberal elitist. Ballyhoo and tut tut! Kristol takes that extra leap that only a Harvardian of his ethno-brainian historical knowledgo-centrism can understand: Obama is a communist! MORE »

Lest we forget, you should read New York Times “lightning rod conservative” columnist Bill Kristol’s latest fare, in which he vehemently denies masturbating to Obama’s race speech, although the first sentence, “I shuddered only once while watching Barack Obama’s speech last Tuesday,” tells a different story. When will he post a correction about this? [NYT]

So Bill Kristol forms an entire argument on Barack Obama lying about attending church services on July 22, 2007, and then it’s proven that Barack was not lying at all — he wasn’t there on July 22, 2007. Kristol has updated his column with this correction now: “In this column, I cite a report that Sen. Obama had attended services at Trinity Church on July 22, 2007. The Obama campaign has provided information showing that Sen. Obama did not attend Trinity that day. I regret the error.” Ha ha ha, he is always so wrong about everything he tries to do. Laugh at the person who is wrong all the time! Yes, laugh at him; he will not save you when the end draws near. [NYT]

New York Times “lightning rod conservative” columnist Bill Kristol wrote this morning that Barack Obama is a fraud. Like most things Bill Kristol writes about, this is old by four news cycles. He lies about which church services he attended once, in the past! And his preacher is like a terrorist or sump’m! After a wry introduction involving Ben Affleck and a nightclub, the always deft Kristol dispels any notions that America’s Youth may be “Generation Obama.” Instead, they are the “9/11 generation.” MORE »

Bill Kristol thinks that William F. Buckley Jr.’s death last week was perfectly timed and truly conservative. “It’s fitting that Bill’s last evening,” Kristol writes in his latest New York Times column today, “was filled with music and graced by friendship, both of which gave him so much joy.” And, and, it’s also fitting that his last evening was Wednesday night, just as Kristol was desperately scanning USA Today for some general column idea! Bill Buckley was always so generous to his lazy intellectual heirs. So how does Kristol phone in his homage to Buckley this week? MORE »