bill kristol

There is no problem that cannot be solved by more war. Sure, that may sound kind of dumb to you, but you are not Bill Kristol, the spittle-filled sack of stupid who has never been right about a thing ever in his entire lifetime. You think that’s hyperbole? It took him until 2013 to figure […]

Bill Kristol — Mensa poster child, inventor of Dan Quayle AND Sarah Palin, and hater of kids these days with their rock ‘n roll music and their tolerance for gay homosexual matrimony — has some news that will shock you to your core. If you have been living in a coma under a rock in […]

Super genius Bill Kristol — the “serious, respected conservative intellectual” who invented Dan Quayle and Sarah Palin — has a new super genius theory: Republicans should stop listening to “pathetic” humans known as the youths, what with their rock ‘n roll music and their gay marriage. Why? “Young people are sometimes wrong,” concluded one of […]

Are you sick of hearing about Chuck Hagel? We are sick of hearing about Chuck Hagel too, but there are so many pearls of wisdom and hidden insights in this New York Times article about him that we cannot resist sharing it with you. For example: did you know that being a war hero does […]

She’d killed him. She’d killed Mitt. She’d stuck her blade between his ribs, counting down from the top to mark where his heart was. (In this story, Mitt Romney had a heart.) And now everyone was going fucking nuts. Twitchy was mouthing off to Big Bill. Chris Wallace was struggling to find the gonads to […]

How is American journalism’s most fearless armchair-warrior, Weekly Standard editor and former New York Times fail dragon Bill Kristol, keeping himself occupied this election? Some may recall his useful role in the last presidential election, which was to recommend to his good friend John McCain the VP selection of Sarah Palin, whom he met during […]

Barack Obama was cold shoppin’ for seafood and minding his own Martha’s-Vineyard-business when a reporter ambushed him for no reason with insensitive questions about Iraq. Obama responded with the old “We’re Buying [Popcorn] Shrimp, Guys. Come On.” [Daily Intel] OH NO: In Philadelphia you need a $300 license to blog and/or write lists for eHow. […]

Rumors about former RNC chair Ken Mehlman’s Complete Gayness have been swirling around for years and years.  Mike Rogers outed him several years back, as part of his campaign to rid the political world of homosexuals who cynically use the rest of the gay community as bait in order to convince rubes, yahoos, bumpkins and […]

Hi America, do you have a second? Because Bill Kristol needs your help most urgently. He is searching for a word that defines the “conservative agenda,” a word that means “to refute making sense” and “to repudiate Mexicans,” a special word meaning both of these things at the same time. “Get a brain, morans” doesn’t […]

Self-described immigration law “liberal” Bill Kristol has read (!) the new Arizona immigration law and determined that it is Not Draconian. Then he did some Math, and look, it’s just a handful of taco trucks that may get screwed, not much else.

Awful human being Bill Kristol predicted on Fox News yesterday that this health care reform bill will be repealed in 2013 — or “the bulk of it” at least, which probably means repealing the insurance mandate, which will cause premiums to exponentially skyrocket, which will then mean having to repeal the pre-existing condition/lifetime caps/rescission consumer […]

Shocker: Liz Cheney and Bill Kristol’s very serious new torture pay-porn fapping bunker, KeepAmericaSafe.com, has produced a Web Video criticizing Obama’s delayed response to the cockbomber using the Greatest Republican Attempted YouTube Comedy Vehicle of all: the “24 parody.”

In the previous post about Washington’s impending War on Snow and its effect on this weekend’s Senate schedule, your Wonkette typed the following stupid bullshit as a hypothetical view of the future: “Ben Nelson complains that getting to work this weekend would be too much of a pain in the ass, so Harry Reid cancels […]

Human dildo and “lightning rod conservative” columnist Bill Kristol said “what Bill Kristol would say” on the Fox Sunday program this weekend: Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize speech is a clear indicator that he will stop being naive soon and finally bomb and destroy Iran and its people. In this same clip — in this same […]

So Liz Cheney and Bill Kristol talked to some bigwigs over at Internet, who have finally agreed to publish KeepAmericaSafe.com! As soon as you can tear yourself away from Michael Steele’s A Man Got To Have A Code blog, your editor at Wonkette implores you to join us on a tour of this latest significant […]