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Posts Tagged ‘bill kristol’

IMPORTANT POLITICAL MEDIA NEWS

Weekly Standard Sold To Another Right-Wing Billionaire Who Doesn’t Need To Worry About Profitability

Wednesday, June 17th, 2009

Bill Kristol’s lifestyle/war pamphlet The Weekly Standard has found a new home! It is much like the old one, Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp., which presumably got tired of losing insane amounts of money each year. (Also, Murdoch didn’t want to get shot by Maryland Nazis.) MORE »


AMERICA'S LEADING PUNDIT

Bill Kristol Has An Opinion Re: The Iranian Situation!

Monday, June 15th, 2009

Oh boy look at this, a midday blog post about Iran from ever-smiling warfapper and on/off Washington Post “lightning rod conservative” Bill Kristol! He is mad at Barack Obama for keeping his silence over the weekend, instead of immersing himself in Iran’s politics (declaring war on Iran). Let’s see if he opens with a nuanced historical antecedent to defend his argument: “On September 2, 1939, in the wake of Hitler’s invasion of Poland…” NEVERMIND. MORE »


YAY

Bill Kristol Suggests Bombing Whatsitcalled, One Of The Chinas

Monday, June 1st, 2009

Nomadic “lightning rod conservative” pundit Bill Kristol sees your North Korea and raises you a BOMB NORTH KOREA. Bomb what? Where? What in North Korea? Just bomb it? Yes! UPDATE: Oh look Sara already posted about this! Well this video is bigger. [Media Matters via Matt Yglesias]


IMPORTANT QUESTIONS

Can We Just Have A War With North Korea Already?

Monday, June 1st, 2009

Because why not.Man, our Monday news is just such a bummer! You got your lost French airliner, your dead abortion doctor, a venerable car-maker going bankrupt, and now the Republicans have quit shouting “racist bigot” at the nation’s first Hispanic Supreme Court nominee, so there is pretty much nothing fun or funny to talk about today. Thankfully, Bill Kristol is still around for laughs. MORE »


IMPORTANT NEW COLUMNISTS

‘New York Neck-Beard’ Douthat Writes Column About Abortion And Gays!

Tuesday, May 12th, 2009

In the words of Brian Lamb, the best human being on Earth, “Hey Ross Douthat, you seen this Wonkette thing here?” It’s a post about your New York Times “young lightning rod conservative” opinion column! It is not his debut — maybe second, or third, or fourth — but it’s the first one we’ve read so deal with it okay? It’s not bad! And because he is, again, a “youth,” he throws in many Internet hyperlinks to his sources. Clicky clicky hooray! So this post will be, unfortunately, a Civilized response to one of his points — that the grain of history favors the pro-life movement — which is less fun than just spitting blood at the computer screen, as we did for Bill Kristol. MORE »


HUMAN DILDO

Bill Kristol Wins $250,000 Prize For… You Know… All That Stuff And Whatever

Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009

Bill Kristol's greatest victoryWhat is the Bradley Foundation? Who knows, but it’s giving that dumb galoot Bill Kristol a $250,000 prize! No — STIPEND. Stipend? We’ll call it a stipend! What the hell? “The Bradley Foundation selected William Kristol for his outstanding achievements in a wide range of activities affecting the development of public policy from national and international perspectives. He is a widely respected conservative leader.” So it’s like a Genius Grant but with less money and given only to liars. (It is a money laundering front.) (For war.) Congratulations Bill Kristol! [Gawker, Bradley Foundation]


MAKE MORE FREEDOM MARCH HARDER

Bill Kristol Launches Sequel To PNAC That Will Be Same Thing As PNAC

Friday, March 27th, 2009

Even though Barack Obama is ramping up the Afghanistan war now, as well as the official policy towards Pakistan known as “Fucking Around,” what we need is more wars, all the time, doesn’t matter if they’re major land wars or just playful warring. This must be done, because if we truly want the oppressed world to enjoy our freedoms, we must first kill them in wars. Comically evil Republican handyman Bill Kristol, for example, would like to see at least one new war every day. And to get his opinion out there — because it’s not like every major media publication gives him regular column space whenever he asks — he has formed a new non-profit that is much like his old evil one, Project for the New American Century, the one founded during the Clinton years that went somewhat dormant during the Bush years when all of its members were busy invading Iraq. MORE »


WHEEEEEE

New York Times Finally Hires New Bill Kristol

Wednesday, March 11th, 2009

Not that Bill Kristol can ever be replaced, but the New York Times has finally found a new conservative friend for David Brooks on the op-ed page! As usual, the pick is a white male, but for the first time it’s a young and dashing white male (sorry, Tom Friedman!) So let the record show that after Wonkette wrote in a post about the Times on October 23, 2008, “Just hire Ross Douthat and get it over with,” the Newspaper of Record had no choice but to comply. Congratulations, Ross! [Sigh] Why did they have to pick such a non-clown? [NYT]


THINGS THE MSM WON'T TELL YOU

Monday, January 26th, 2009

JUST GIVE US ALL OF YR MONEY NOW: Peter Wehner of America’s favorite blog, The Corner, soon will be either broke or a chickenshit: “Bill Kristol… is easily among the most intelligent, creative, and articulate conservative voices in America—a fact, upon which I would be willing to bet a large sum of money, is what troubled the Times.” Well we’re willing to accept that bet! Count your assets, put a number on the table. Then we can call the Times to ask if they fired Bill Kristol because his perfection scared them. [The Corner]


NEW YORK TIMES "LIGHTNING ROD CONSERVATVE"

Remembering Bill Kris… Oh Goddamnit, The Washington Post Just Gave Him A Column

Monday, January 26th, 2009

We were preparing to write something else fairly epic about the end of Bill Kristol’s tenure as the New York Times‘ “lightning rod conservative” columnist, a position he accepted one year ago for the sole purpose of annoying people during an election year, but… something’s happened! MORE »


CRIMINAL DEEDS

And Also Bill Kristol Brought Us Sarah Palin, Which Is A Federal Offense

Monday, January 26th, 2009

Thanks for nothing, Bill KristolToday each of your editors was obliged to tender their own reflections on the tragic expiration of Bill Kristol’s tenure as Token Lazy Chucklehead on the New York Times op-ed page. It seems Ken does not care for this fellow, and Jim is working on some epic rant, so now your SKS will review Kristol’s most grievous sin, which is foisting the demoness Sarah Palin upon an innocent and unsuspecting populace. MORE »