Shocker: Liz Cheney and Bill Kristol’s very serious new torture pay-porn fapping bunker, KeepAmericaSafe.com, has produced a Web Video criticizing Obama’s delayed response to the cockbomber using the Greatest Republican Attempted YouTube Comedy Vehicle of all: the “24 parody.” MORE »

In the previous post about Washington’s impending War on Snow and its effect on this weekend’s Senate schedule, your Wonkette typed the following stupid bullshit as a hypothetical view of the future: “Ben Nelson complains that getting to work this weekend would be too much of a pain in the ass, so Harry Reid cancels the health care vote. Tons of people die. We invade Iran.” Little did we know that “lightning rod conservative” Bill Kristol had already proposed this! MORE »

Human dildo and “lightning rod conservative” columnist Bill Kristol said “what Bill Kristol would say” on the Fox Sunday program this weekend: Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize speech is a clear indicator that he will stop being naive soon and finally bomb and destroy Iran and its people. In this same clip — in this same exact argument — he chides Barack Obama’s “shameful” lack of care for human rights, in Iran, during their election. The people want to be bombed! Bomb them with love & mortar! [Think Progress]

So Liz Cheney and Bill Kristol talked to some bigwigs over at Internet, who have finally agreed to publish KeepAmericaSafe.com! As soon as you can tear yourself away from Michael Steele’s A Man Got To Have A Code blog, your editor at Wonkette implores you to join us on a tour of this latest significant Republican contribution to the Internet. Never ever has there been so much torture in one place. Ha ha, this certainly is not true. But still! Wouldn’t you like to meet today’s Featured Gitmo Detainee? MORE »

War-loving Bill Kristol — in his terrifying “Quick take from The Post’s opinion writers” — thinks that it is so hilarious for Barack Obama to receive and accept the Nobel Peace Prize that he need not even write about how hilarious it is, it is just that hilarious. He has a better suggestion for a recipient, though, and that would be the person who loves war most of all: “We could note that, if the Swedes Norwegians wanted to give the Nobel Peace Prize to an American, it would have been been better to give it to Sen. John McCain for having the guts to push through the surge in Iraq, which has brought relative peace to that country. But that would be overkill. The choice is so self-evidently Not a Parody that no explanation is required or possible.” Oh, pardon moi — “ha and/or ha.” Now he will have his afternoon tea. MORE »

Fake war person Bill Kristol went on the Fox News over the weekend to talk about how Barack Obama “lost the Olympics,” oh boy. Now in spite of the Weekly Standard’s furious scrubbing attempts, we already knew, thanks to the magic of the Internets, how Bill Kristol and his chums at the Standard responded to Friday’s announcement: with raging monster boners. So the real treat in this clip is to hear Bill Kristol do his “Obama voice” (around :24). It is that of a Muppet. [YouTube]

The “godfather of neoconservatism,” Irving Kristol, died at 89 today. Although he has been quieter in recent years, Kristol’s personal political history is famous, and probably over-exaggerated, but goes something likes this: when he was an undergraduate at the “radical” City College of New York, from which he graduated in 1940, his small group of Trotskyite (or at least anti-Stalinist) leftists held ferocious debates from Alcove 1 of the college’s lunch room with the pro-Stalinist leftists in Alcove 2, about politics. MORE »

• Would you people please subscribe to Atlantic Monthly so the editors don’t regret putting that year-old Andrew Sullivan email to George W. Bush on the cover? [Daily Dish]
• Just like the DC Madame, Christoper Kelly weighed his options. Should he cooperate with the authorities and maybe serve a little jail time? Or should he park his car in a lumber yard, and kill himself? Life is fun and stuff but honestly, knowing possibly incriminating things about Rod Blagojevich was just a burden too heavy to bare. [Huffington Post]
• Support the Fightin’ Four! (Don’t.) [RedState]
• Politico, keeping with its blatant “Flat Earth Society” bias, continues to proudly peddle multifarious Cheneyisms, including the classic, “Al-Qaeda and Saddam Hussein were members of the same World of Warcraft guild”. [Matt Yglesias]
• If Noah hadn’t made his fancy Ark and saved humanity, Darwin and his silly theory would have never come to pass. Oh the cruel irony! [The Daily Dish]

Think about how YOU would feel if YOU were Joe Wilson right now, guys! He’s sorry okay?? STOP IT STOP BEING MEAN JUST STOP IT. [YouTube]

As Afghanistan’s war-loving General McChrystal prepares to ask for more troops at the end of the month, will he get them, or will Obama be a massive vagina and say no fuck you? Bill Kristol, for one, thinks there ought be more troops! The Foreign Policy Initiative, Kristol’s new iteration of the famous Project for the New American Century, has gone back to its 90s-style out-of-power activist method of advocating for more newer wars: writing letters to the president about bombing people, and having lots of signatures. Just read the list of co-signatories on this thing: Max Boot, John Podhoretz, a million Kagans, Randy Scheunemann, and finally, the fire of Randy Scheunemann’s loins: Sarah Palin. We’ve never felt better about the “Afghanistan War,” have you? [FPI]

Rancid lying demon & TIME New York Times Washington Post “lightning rod conservative” columnist Bill Kristol wrote a very funny column about Sarah Palin yesterday and now we are going to make fun of it. MORE »

Bill Kristol’s lifestyle/war pamphlet The Weekly Standard has found a new home! It is much like the old one, Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp., which presumably got tired of losing insane amounts of money each year. (Also, Murdoch didn’t want to get shot by Maryland Nazis.) MORE »

Oh boy look at this, a midday blog post about Iran from ever-smiling warfapper and on/off Washington Post “lightning rod conservative” Bill Kristol! He is mad at Barack Obama for keeping his silence over the weekend, instead of immersing himself in Iran’s politics (declaring war on Iran). Let’s see if he opens with a nuanced historical antecedent to defend his argument: “On September 2, 1939, in the wake of Hitler’s invasion of Poland…” NEVERMIND. MORE »

Nomadic “lightning rod conservative” pundit Bill Kristol sees your North Korea and raises you a BOMB NORTH KOREA. Bomb what? Where? What in North Korea? Just bomb it? Yes! UPDATE: Oh look Sara already posted about this! Well this video is bigger. [Media Matters via Matt Yglesias]