• Maybe it was her sexy nipple clamps that made Kay Bailey Hutchison forget all about blowjobs.
• Gawker breaks down the Weekend of Judy. Friday: Keller puts heart on sleeve, Judy in bulls’ eye. Saturday: The redhead goes wild. Sunday: Judy fights back.
• Mike Brown memorialized as a ringtone.
• Did you know you could watch every “Colbert Report” for free on the interweb? Yes, you can. Tonight’s show will be a gravitas barn burner: Lou Dobbs! Tell us how you feel about immigration, Lou.
• Jon Stewart doesn’t have an email address. So who’s been reading all the porn I send?

• Reliable Source: “Blond beauty queen-businesswoman” Marsha Ralls and D.C. Council member Jack Evans say they are just close friends, despite rumors of something more. . . Dennis Kucinich lunches with Sean Penn. . . Bono lunches with Nancy Pelosi and other top Democrats. [WP]
• Inside Politics: Media Research Center study finds network news was “overwhelmingly negative in their portrayal of the Iraq war.” [WT]
• Rush & Molloy: Judith Miller reportedly screamed at Bill Keller to soften the Times‘ Sunday critique of her work. . . Sandy Berger, Ron Klain join ABC’s “Commander in Chief” as advisors. [NYDN]
• Page Six: Reporters in Albany joke that the Pirro campaign is “really a pilot for a Fox sitcom.” [NYP]

The idea — as cited by Lloyd Gove in his column today — that TIME’s Matt Cooper is fishing for a job at the NYT because the newsweekly’s hire of Mike Allen has made him feel “a bit crowded” seems off to us. First of all, Allen is not that much taller than Dickerson. Does hog the covers, tho. And then there’s the question of whether Matt’s fishing… or was he pushed? Far from being crowded, we hear he may be lonely: Since his bravura performance of “I Was THISCLOSE to Jail” on the courthouse steps last month, the reception by his colleagues has been stilted and the magazine’s editors aren’t sure what to do with him. (Jim Kelley’s response to inquiries about Cooper’s future in last week’s NYT piece were somewhat less than enthusiastic: “It’s not a matter of appropriateness; it’s a matter of effectiveness.”)

The Times, however, has the perfect role for Cooper: foil. Our sources say that it’s not so much the Times that’s interested in Cooper as it is managing editor Bill Keller. The rank-and-file, on the other hand, wonder why Keller would be interested. We suspect Keller is looking for a soulmate, or at least a cellmate. With almost-a-martyr Cooper on staff, Keller might succeed in muddying the waters over of the paper’s internal investigation of Judith Miller’s role in the leaking of the name of CIA agent Valerie Wilson (Plame, whatever).

Please don your tin-foil hats before we continue after the jump.

MORE »