Wonkette

* President Bush did, in fact, read the Iraq Study Group’s report, but has no plans to enact its recommendations. [WP, NYT, LAT]
* “Iraq Surrender Group” is more like it. [LAT]
* Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama have dinner together, frolic in a field, give steely glares across a dais on the Senate floor. [WP]
* As billion dollar Coast Guard ship modernization program falters, Cubans, Haitians, and Columbians rejoice. [WP]
* Bye-bye, Bill Frist. [WP, NYT]
* Louisiana’s 2nd district runoff election hinges on corruption and pork. William Jefferson might have just enough of each to win.[WSJ]
* Congressional smoking: a bulwark against worse vices. [WP]

* Iraq Study Group leaks its non-binding recommendations: they want to withdraw American troops, offer no timetable. [WP, NYT, LAT]
* President Bush also ignored by Iraqis, as Prime Minister Nuri Kamal al-Maliki ducks him at their so-called summit. [NYT]
* Bill Frist won’t run for president in 2008, cites influential Pete Seeger lyrics in announcement of decision. [WP, NYT, LAT]
* Majority of Americans think: Iraq is in civil war, Donald Rumsfeld’s ouster was needed, and that Robert Gates probably won’t be able to really change anything over there. [WSJ]
* One of “the most difficult and important” recommendations of the 9/11 Commission will be largely ignored by the Democratic Congress. [WP]
* Supreme Court hears first case on Greenhouse gas emissions. Antonin Scalia says, “I don’t want to have to deal with global warming.” [WP, NYT]
* States will try to bolster the public’s “fragile trust” in electronic voting machines before 2008. [WSJ]

We won’t have Dr. Senator Frist, Gorillia Surgeon, to kick around anymore: MORE »

* Reliable Source: Diplomats be having parties. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Education Sec. Margaret Spellings was on “Celebrity” Jeopardy, set to air today. It will settle definitively and objectively whether she’s purposefully mendacious or just dumb… “The Congressional Club, the 98-year-old organization of congressional spouses, held its orientation for new wives and husbands” … “Davis” is still the most common surname in Congress… The National Capital Area Chapter of the Annual Leukemia & Lymphoma’s February $1,000/plate benefit will feature “entertainment” from Bill Cosby and Hootie and the goddamn Blowfish… The Madison Club rush was alarming dry. Mole claims “this year’s rush goal was to bring in more brunettes.” [Examiner]
* Under the Dome: Saddest story ever: Roast of Bill Frist fails miserably when no one can think of a single funny story about him. We can think of a couple good ones… Conrad Burns continues to lose his mind, attack all reporters who dare approach him… Seersucker day in grave danger after John Cornyn ruins his suit… Katherine Harris is in this month’s Playboy, but not in the way you’re thinking, sicko. [The Hill]

Maybe the October Surprise is “Everybody Goes Crazy,” because that’s the only rational explanation for Bill Frist’s sudden desire to “cut and run” from Afghanistan. MORE »

• List of top 20 most ethically corrupt members of Congress released. Not. One. Single. Surprise. [TPMMuckraker]

• Katherine Harris will claw her way to legitimacy, even if those claws need to go in Jeb Bush’s eye. [The Democratic Party Blog]
• Blogger fired for lack of partisanship. Now with dream of liberated political thought smashed, the ’sphere sheds a tear. [Politcal Bite]
• “Short-timers syndrome” has infected Bill Frist, who could really care less abut any torture bill that’s not taking place in the bedroom of his Nashville manse. [The Left Coaster]
• Hugo Chavez calls Bush “the devil” on floor of UN, other elementary school insults also levied. [The Jawa Report]
• Joenerita turns to Joemeltdown as Lieberman takes it from all sides, and is definitely canceling his subscription to GQ. [HuffPo]
• Reading a headline like, “Man Bites Panda” is proof of why you should never get drunk and watch Anchorman. [CNEWS]

So much wrong here. First, there’s the “Wreath Laying,” which is apparently the White House term for “second base with the hot blonde.” MORE »

The Senate’s own cat-mutilating gorilla surgeon can no longer call himself a doctor. Not legally, anyway.

Bill Frist lost his medical license after he was caught creating a hybrid cat-ape-human species from Terri Schiavo’s stem cells without the Continuing Education credits that doctors need to maintain their practice.

Also, Frist lied about it and got caught. Read about the dashed presidential hopes of Schiavo’s Hero, after the jump.

MORE »

• Bill Frist shows his compassionate conservatism by tolerating Nantucket-summering douchebags [Melissa C. Morris]

• In Sweden, all girls named Inge, all think Condi’s gay. [Swedes for Obama]
• The Colorado gubernatorial race hinges on the polarizing sheep-fucking issue. [Pandagon]
• Esquire “We’re not gay, really” Magazine congratulates Barack Obama for not dressing Sensenbrennerly. [Esquire]
• Newspapers plan on buying RV and blowing the kids’ inheritance, as they’ll be dead in 5 years. [E-Consultancy]

• Michelle Malkin’s “Hezbollah is not my problem” syndicated column begins today. [Michelle Malkin]

• Red State honors Bush, tsks Frist: “Mr. Frist has shown us exactly the kind of leader he is–one absolutely willing to throw the leader of his party and his pro-life supporters under the bus for the support of the pharmaceutical lobby.” [Red State]
• The Angry Fag: “But if these sex offenders are so dangerous to require registries, notifications, electronic monitoring and other such things why are they being let out of prison at all? [The Angry Fag]
• “Without any kind of court verdict in regards to legality on the NSA surveillance program, the ACLU continue to stomp their feet, consistently labelling it as ‘illegal’ when there has been no official ruling of any kind.” [Stop The ACLU]