Tag Archives: bill de blasio

  #winning

Tucker Carlson And Brother Buckley Double-Team Lady In Most Sexist Bullsh*t We’ve Seen Today

Call him LabiaFace. He likes it.
Turns out walking piece of barely human garbage and professional Fox News dick-sucker Tucker Carlson has a brother named Buckley (yes, we know, and we can only imagine Tucker’s life-long fraternal envy, since he must have been named for one of the lesser racists). And although we only learned of Buckley’s existence seconds ago, we are not at all surprised to also learn that Buckley is just like his brother: a piece of barely human garbage. Read more on Tucker Carlson And Brother Buckley Double-Team Lady In Most Sexist Bullsh*t We’ve Seen Today…
  Don't believe the lies -- or the snow

Rush Limbaugh: Big Government Nanny State Controlling You Through Weather Warnings

His weather is just fine, thanks
While conservatives usually love a good snowstorm because it proves global warming is a hoax and Al Gore is fat, truth-seeking climatologist Rush Limbaugh is too smart to buy into the lies of such lefty media outlets as AccuWeather and the National Weather Service. He’s heard about this so-called Worst Snow Storm Ever, but he’s got a brilliant question about that, which you know is brilliant because he says his own self that “it is a brilliant question.” Are you ready for some brilliance? Brace yourselves: “How in the hell can a snow storm that hasn’t happened be historic?” Read more on Rush Limbaugh: Big Government Nanny State Controlling You Through Weather Warnings…
  Here have some news n stuff

Surprise! Justice Scalia Is Biggest Jerk On The Court

“Antonin Scalia 2010” by Stephen Masker – Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia. Licensed under CC BY 2.0 via Wikimedia Commons A smart-ass law professor decided to do A Serious Study on Supreme Court justices and sarcasm. You’ll never guess who wins The Most Sarcastic Justice award: Read more on Surprise! Justice Scalia Is Biggest Jerk On The Court…
  We Just Like Saying 'Quinnipiac'

NYPD Making Friends And Influencing People, Except The Opposite Of That

Not actual NYPD officers
New York cops may want to rethink whether they were making friends and influencing people when they turned their backs on Mayor Bill de Blasio at funerals of two murdered NYPD officers. A new Quinnipiac University poll of New York City voters found that on the whole, people disapproved of the act by a margin of 69-27 percent. Only one demographic category approved, and just barely: Republicans were cool with it, 51-47 percent. Even cop-friendly Staten Island residents disapproved, although by the narrowest margin of any borough, with 50 percent disapproving and 47 percent approving. Read more on NYPD Making Friends And Influencing People, Except The Opposite Of That…
  A Mutiny By Any Other Name

Cop Fight! NYPD Battles Itself As Union Meeting Descends Into Fisticuffs

Antun’s is a classy joint in Queens that normally specializes in sweet 16 parties and bedazzled weddings. Yesterday, however, this fine establishment played host to a meeting of the NYPD’s Patrolmen’s Benevolent Association, and things escalated quickly! Worst of all, some rat fink squealed to the New York Daily News, and now the story’s breakin’ out like the measles. Read more on Cop Fight! NYPD Battles Itself As Union Meeting Descends Into Fisticuffs…
  Everybody Say Ewwww

NYPD Union Seeks Advice On Racism From Terribly Sane Pastor Who Loves Segregation

Everyone in the photos behind me would slap me if they heard what I'm saying. Joke's on them -- theyr'e dead!
This ought to go well. Since the NYPD is still feeling most butthurt indeed that Mayor Bill de Blasio hasn’t yet fired his black son or burned his wife’s wardrobe, some of the city’s finest are looking to other sources for advice on building better relations with the black community. Or at least in the case of the Sergeants Benevolent Association, the NYPD sergeants’ union, they met last week in Washington DC with several “national African-American leaders,” including Alveda King, Martin Luther King’s rightwing niece, and E.W. Jackson, the former Virginia lieutenant-governor candidate who’s OK with segregation, believes that Planned Parenthood has been worse for the black community than the KKK, and that the 3/5 compromise was a pretty good thing since it at least gave slaves some political recognition. No, we did not make that up. Did we mention he’s a Republican? Read more on NYPD Union Seeks Advice On Racism From Terribly Sane Pastor Who Loves Segregation…
  fa-fa-fa-fa-fashion

NYC Mayor’s Wife Wore Old Dungarees To NYPD Funeral, Says Everyone On The Facebooks

Mayor Bill de Blasio, he’s got a problem with the Rank and File because he won’t let them stop all the black men and pat down their genitals for being OBVIOUS CRIMERS. (Yes, we know we have a dangling genital in there. That is because it is the penises doing the crimes.) But did you know his wife, a former lesbian (never forget) went to that NYPD funeral for Officer Liu in a Fuck the NYPD t-shirt, pretty much? (No she didn’t.) Okay, well if she didn’t go to the funeral in a fetching vintage 1988 Straight Outta Compton concert tour number, she WORE JEANS. (She still didn’t.) Read more on NYC Mayor’s Wife Wore Old Dungarees To NYPD Funeral, Says Everyone On The Facebooks…
  Notorious BDB

NYC Mayor Bill De Blasio Does The Pot Like A Common Jazz Criminal, And The NYPD Is On It

Thanks to the NYPD’s recent unofficial work stoppage, it’s a great time to be a public urinator in New York. Loiterers are going shockingly unticketed and jaywalkers are free to ply their trade with impunity. There is, however, one suspected criminal in the city who’s getting plenty of police attention: Mayor Bill de Blasio. Read more on NYC Mayor Bill De Blasio Does The Pot Like A Common Jazz Criminal, And The NYPD Is On It…
  Time to hide under the bed again

You’ll Never Guess Who Fox News Thinks Is Guilty Of Terrorisming The United States Of Paris

Wimpy tyrant dictator doormat Obama is refusing to call the terrorist attack in Paris a terrorist attack — except for how he did do that — but the omnipotent experts at Fox “News” know better. Not only was it a terrorist attack, but it was political correctness and New York Mayor Bill de Blasio what done it, because of political correctness and communism, THANKS OBAMA. Read more on You’ll Never Guess Who Fox News Thinks Is Guilty Of Terrorisming The United States Of Paris…
  Here have some news n stuff

At The Times, A Call For New York Cops To Do Their F*cking Jobs

Take a nap on your own time
It would seem the editorial writers of the usually sedate New York Times are a tad miffed about a thing. And it’s not how hard it is to find good help these days to make organic artisanal vegan food for Little Junior, or how the ladies need to stop being more successful than the menfolk and just marry whatever Tom, Dick, or Harry is interested. Nope, the Times is, in fact, righteously and justifiably a tad miffed — and by “a tad miffed,” we mean AS MAD AS HELL at New York’s “finest” — and they are NOT going to take it anymore: Read more on At The Times, A Call For New York Cops To Do Their F*cking Jobs…
  Quiet Dignity Redux

NYPD Cop Peeved At Reporter Disrespectfully Covering Cops’ Solemn, Funereal Disrespect

The quiet dignity of a political stunt
Photo by Aymann Ismail, Animal New York Hundreds of NYPD police officers came together Sunday for the noble purpose of very publicly giving the finger to Mayor Bill de Blasio again, and we suppose they were also there for the funeral of murdered officer Wenjian Liu, too. As they had done last week at the funeral of Liu’s partner Rafael Ramos, large numbers of police standing outside the funeral hall turned their backs to video monitors as de Blasio began his eulogy. Police have decided that they hates the nasty de Blasio, hates him, because he personally ordered the deaths of Ramos and Liu by telling his son, who is black, to be very, very careful around police. Read more on NYPD Cop Peeved At Reporter Disrespectfully Covering Cops’ Solemn, Funereal Disrespect…
  Here have some news n stuff

Farewell To Democrats’ Favorite Imaginary Presidential Candidate Mario Cuomo

Mario Cuomo, the former governor of New York and the Cuomo Democrats actually really like, died on Thursday at the age of 82. He was from what kids these days might call the Democratic wing of the Democratic Party, before that was officially a thing: Read more on Farewell To Democrats’ Favorite Imaginary Presidential Candidate Mario Cuomo…
  The Thin-Skinned Blue Line

NYPD Cops So Sad At Mayor De Blasio They Just Can’t Fight Crime Anymore

Take a nap on your own time
It’s a great week to jaywalk or jump turnstiles in New York City, as cops have pretty much decided to stop being cops at all until Mayor Bill de Blasio disowns his black son or at least makes him personally thank every police on the force for keeping him safe. Following the murder of two officers by a suicidal man who was not, we must note, the Mayor of New York, police have turned their backs not only on Bill de Blasio, but also on doing their jobs. The New York Post reports that “traffic tickets and summonses for minor offenses have dropped off by a staggering 94 percent” since the murders. Read more on NYPD Cops So Sad At Mayor De Blasio They Just Can’t Fight Crime Anymore…
  One Angry Dwarf

Chuck C. Johnson In Middle Of Sexy Drowned Stewardess Hitler Fantasia

It may have been a holiday weekend, but the news never stops — and neither does sleazy reporting remora Chuck C. Johnson, who can always find a way to say something surreally horrifying about almost anything. Consider that missing AirAsia flight, for instance, which led Mr. Johnson to think with his Johnson: Read more on Chuck C. Johnson In Middle Of Sexy Drowned Stewardess Hitler Fantasia…
  Quiet Dignity

NYPD Cops Respect Fallen Officer Through Classy Political Stunt At Funeral

Hard to tell who or what is being faced here, but it is 'away,' we hear
Photo by Viorel Florescu, New York Daily News Just to prove how much they objected to Mayor Bill de Blasio’s inciting the murder of two policemen last week, hundreds (or possibly thousands) of NYPD officers attending a memorial service for one of the officers turned their backs on a video screen carrying de Blasio’s remarks during the funeral. It was a fitting display of contempt for a man who had dared to stir up hatred of police by telling his son that he needed to be careful around police, since they don’t always show love and respect for young black men, which is obviously just not true. De Blasio also apparently encouraged the murders by allowing widespread protests in New York after the grand jury decision in the killing of Eric Garner, because allowing criticism of police is precisely the same as calling for them to be murdered. Read more on NYPD Cops Respect Fallen Officer Through Classy Political Stunt At Funeral…
  If You Love Someone Let Them Go Wild

Fox News ‘Psychiatrist’ Keith Ablow: COPS DON’T NEED TO CALM DOWN YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN!!!1!

Fox & Klanz
Fox News resident Psychopath psychiatrist Keith Ablow has Thoughts on the murder of two policemen in New York City this weekend. (We’re quite certain you were waiting to hear from him before deciding what you think of the horrific killings.) In addition to calling on New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio to admit his personal responsibility for the murders, Ablow also insightfully diagnosed calls for police to be equipped with body cameras and to be trained in methods for de-escalating tense situations as signs of a sick society, calling it insulting to the good judgment of Our Protectors, who have done such an excellent job of protecting us from whatever criminals aren’t in blue uniforms. Read more on Fox News ‘Psychiatrist’ Keith Ablow: COPS DON’T NEED TO CALM DOWN YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN!!!1!…
  How About Nobody Kills Anyone? We Could Get Behind That

Rudy Giuliani To Obama: Stop Personally Murdering All The Cops, Right Now!

Screw you too, pal
Former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani placed the blame for the murders of two New York City policemen Saturday squarely where it belonged: on President Barack Obama, who had personally whispered “Go kill some cops” into the ear of Ismaaiyl Brinsley, a Baltimore man who killed himself after shooting the two officers, plus his girlfriend. (A lot of people keep forgetting about the girlfriend.) In an interview on Fox & Friends Sunday, Giuliani explained that the President and others had pretty much been calling for the killing of police ever since the August shooting of Mike Brown in Ferguson, Missouri: Read more on Rudy Giuliani To Obama: Stop Personally Murdering All The Cops, Right Now!…
  You know who the REAL racists are?

New York Mayor Bill de Blasio Wants To Keep His Black Son Alive, What A Racist Jerk

Bunch of racists
Photo via Bill de Blasio Hippy-dippy socialist communist gay-loving crime-enabling New York Mayor Bill de Blasio just cannot stop being terrible for New York, the greatest nation that ever lived. Because de Blasio hates America, and New York, and police officers obviously, he has declared a race war in New York by giving his biracial son some riot-inciting advice about what to do in the highly unlikely event that he is ever stopped and/or frisked for blacking while black. Read more on New York Mayor Bill de Blasio Wants To Keep His Black Son Alive, What A Racist Jerk…
  why can't we be part of your world

Swashbuckling New York Mayor Gutted, Eaten By Fish Queen

Why doesn’t Los Angeles have a Mermaid Parade, with mayor’s kids Chiara and Dante de Blasio crowned by divine right our piscine leaders? Stupid Los Angeles. Fine, New York. Have your awesome “art parade” that’s had David Byrne and Harvey Keitel and Queen Latifah and Lou Reed and Laurie Anderson as fish kings and queens. We don’t care. We have Dov Charney, the King of the Wangs. Read more on Swashbuckling New York Mayor Gutted, Eaten By Fish Queen…
  all of my love to you child

KFC Gives $30K Apology To Little Girl In Today’s Happy Links!

Whew! What a day it’s been! We’ve got singing mayors, sorry restaurants, and sexy boobs! Get into the magic, the beauty, the mayhem and the luscious madness of today’s Happy Nice Time People goodness. It’s piping hot, and at the end you get boobs! Read more on KFC Gives $30K Apology To Little Girl In Today’s Happy Links!…
  randy newman weeps

NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio Croaks His Way From the South Bay to the Valley

Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti bet New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio that the L.A. Kings would win the 2014 Stanley Cup Final. And he was right! So Mayor Bill had to go on national teevee with America’s Prankster Husband, Jimmy Kimmel, and sing Randy Newman’s “I Love L.A.” in front of everybody. This is just adorable and beautiful and amazing and deeply awkward and extraordinary funny. Watch it and embrace the incredible nerdiness on display. Also, not to be totally inappropriate, but Eric Garcetti is bae. RAWWWWRRR! Read more on HNTP… Read more on NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio Croaks His Way From the South Bay to the Valley…
  priorities people

George W. Bush Probably Too Busy Clearing Brush To Attend 9/11 Memorial Museum. Thanks Obama!

You might have noticed some news about the dedication of a museum honoring an American history event, a little thing hardly worth mentioning called 9/11. Bamz, who wasn’t doing anything else today, so whatevs, roused himself to tour the museum, as did the Clintons, and Michael Bloomberg and Bill de Blasio and Rudy Giuliani (like Rudy could miss such a thing). Bamz even gave a nice little speech about the whole thing. But guess who was missing? Did you guess Bernie Kerik? We do not think he was there because he is maybe still in jail? We’re not going to look that up. Haha the big no-show was George W. Bush, who decided to just send a statement instead. Read more on George W. Bush Probably Too Busy Clearing Brush To Attend 9/11 Memorial Museum. Thanks Obama!…