bill clinton

Hey, folks, are you ready to relive the 2000 election? As if some of us didn’t spend most of 2000 through 2008 doing that already? Go dimple your chads, because it’s time for some butterfly ballots, Christian-textbook style!

Here we are kids, at the lowest point* of the Clinton administration: the Lewinsky affair and impeachment. But how are textbooks for the fundamentalist Christian homeschool market supposed to approach the topic? On the one hand, there’s big Presidential Sin, but on the other, S-E-X. Not all that surprisingly, our middle-school textbook skirts the details, while […]

The Daily Caller proved conclusively this weekend that Barack and Michelle Obama are the most pampered, spoiled, wasteful Imperial President and First Lady ever in the history of America, mostly by throwing out a whole lot of big numbers and suggesting that they’re shocking. The headline, “The Obamas Have Spent Over $44,351,777.12 In Taxpayer Cash […]

Richard Mellon Scaife, the guy who made a career of inheriting billions from his banking and oil industry forebears and then blowing it on hating the Clintons in the 1990s, died Friday of cancer. Scaife was a central contributor to rightwing attacks on the Clintons, and gave the American Spectator almost $2 million for the […]

Better fire up your modems and log into your AOL account (or Prodigy for you hipsters). Time for another look at the ruinous near-decade of prosperity under Bill Clinton, as refracted through the Truthiness Lens of rightwing Christian textbooks. This week, foreign affairs! (And next week, we’ll get to the other kind.)

Put on a plaid flannel shirt and break out your Nirvana CDs, kids, because our rightwing Christian textbooks are looking at the ’90s: Bill Clinton is the president, and America is in deep moral decline, because didn’t you just read the name of the president?

Pop quiz time! (If you need to review last week’s lesson, you may.) Here is an actual review question from our 8th-grade American History textbook from Christian publisher A Beka, America: Land I Love (2006): “What Communist leader toured America in 1990?” Now, you filthy liberals may think the correct answer would be Mikhail Gorbachev, […]

After a million weeks on Ronald Reagan, the Greatest President Ever, our survey of a couple of rightwing Christian textbooks will devote about 1500 words to his successor, George Herbert Walker Kennebunkport Milli Vanilli Bush, the 41st President and only the second-worst President named “George Bush.” And Happy Father’s Day to a very middling president […]

Oh, Hillary. Why’d you have to go and say that you and Bill were “dead broke” when you left the White House in 2001? In an interview Monday with Diane Sawyer, Hillz said, “We came out of the White House not only dead broke, but in debt. We had no money when we got there, […]

Maya Angelou died Tuesday at her home in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, following a long illness. She leaves behind a list of accomplishments that threatened to overwhelm headlines: poet, essayist, actress, memoirist, historian, educator, civil rights advocate, Poet Laureate, excellent human being, take your pick. The first of her many memoirs, I Know Why the Caged […]

When last we saw Larry Klayman, he was pretty worried about how Barack Obama was forcing white people to be racist, and if there were no Bamz, poof! no racism. But since it has been like 10 minutes since Larry had another theory (we use that word so loosely) about what is wrecking ‘Merica, he […]

This weekend a scaly, horrifying, rage-addled lizard rose from the depths of its subterranean lair and slithered onto screens all over the country, where it opened its jaw and shrieked high-pitched noises at terrified Americans as it stomped its way across the land, leaving destruction in its wake. Yep, Dick Cheney was on Fox News […]

One specter that has always hovered over a Hillary Clinton campaign for president in 2016 is the possibility – the certainty – that all the old spirits of the 1990s will be conjured up and released into the world to wreak havoc and slime anyone in their way in the political equivalent of shutting down the containment […]

Just today we got around to reading this New York Times story about how efficient Texas is with killing condemned prisoners, and then the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals put a halt to its next scheduled execution. What on earth could have convinced a federal court to stop our most bloodthirsty state government from carrying out its […]

Is our favorite vice president of all time, Old Handsome Joe Biden, guzzling some of those five-hour energy drinks we see advertised everywhere? Because word is he went to a Democratic Party fundraiser in South Carolina on Friday night and tore shit up, son. Probably going to be a mini-Democratic baby boom down in that […]