Wonkette

Jesus, have we forgotten about Hillary Clinton so quickly? Wonkette has not written about the unsuccessful Inevitable Candidate since… noon, on Thursday! We can’t just quit Hillary cold turkey, much as we’d like to, so here “she” is STILL RUNNING (wokka wokka) in liberal San Francisco’s Bay to Breakers race today, courtesy of Wonkette arugula-city operative “Bob.” And for the record, a Kenyan won the race.

Interior Secretary Dirk Kempthorne announced on Wednesday that the Polar Bear would be put on the Threatened Species list, because all the ice has melted and that’s where the Polar Bear lives, on a piece of ice. Also, these comical Polar Bears actually attended Kempthorne’s press conference in Washington. See, they really have no place to go now! [AP Photo]

How will we survive the lean economy if there’s no more bacon? [Time] MORE »

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Okay, there’s not a whole lot to the story, but still, GRAND RAPIDS!

John Edwards endorsing Barack Obama in Grand Rapids [WOOD TV]

Uhh… why was there a dead girl lying on the floor of a Clinton rally in West Virginia yesterday? Did an emaciated Hillary need an emergency glass of children’s blood to drink before speaking? She needs to stop doing this! But it is Hillary, and she cannot. After the jump, the pantsuit from Hell. MORE »

Libertarian presidential candidate Bob Barr, a white landowning male, looks exactly like Rev. Jeremiah Wright, Barack Obama’s black Muslim pastor. Why won’t Bob Barr denounce his unpatriotic phenotype? [Slate/Trailhead]

Old Barry visited the evil state of Michigan today, where Hillary Clinton beat Nobody by only 15%. They have many Bitters in Michigan ever since the Chinese & Mexicans took their factory jobs. This is why Barry, a terrible elitist who has never even spoken to a white person before, visited the sole fancy factory still operating. Does he have any idea that these people — the ones with jobs — aren’t the real people of Michigan? Anyway, here he is looking like Steve Urkel with bird flu. [AP Photo]

Wonkette Search Engine Optimization Operative Plato-to-Nato sends us a screen grab from this morning’s Washington Post. You’re welcome.

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Screw HITLERY ROD-SHAM CLINTON and B’IRAQ HUSSEIN OSAMA, the biggest election tonight is in Mississippi Congressional District Numero Uno, between Republican Greg Davis and Democrat Travis Childers, who said nothing. Wait, what’s that? Travis Childers stopped being a mute, finally? Yes He Did, with this mailer he’s been sending out attacking Davis. Davis, you see, wanted to honor the founder of the KKK with a big old racist statue, and the black gal pictured here wasn’t so thrilled about that. Congrats, Childers, and good luck! [TPM Election Central]

Here is Barack Obama playing pool last night, before a Bitter Shadow crosses his face and turns him into some serial killer monster thing from Muslim Hell. He is a terribly evil man, and he is coming for you. [Getty Photo]