Tag Archives: bigots

  please send money

Girl Scouts Will Get Along Just Fine Without Transgender-Hating Bigot Bucks, Thank You

Even ones religious right assholes don't like.
As you are all aware, the Girl Scouts is a super badass organization. Its leadership is SO liberal, the Scouts are turning all of America’s girls into militant man-hating lesbian vegans with bitchin’ abortion skills. And it costs money to indoctrinate all those young ladies! The Girl Scouts of Western Washington was very excited to get a $100,000 donation recently, to fund things like financial assistance for little girls whose families can’t afford to send them to camp. Stuff like that. But then the donor woke up one day with a spiked dildo up his/her ass and sent another note to the group specifying that this money was under no circumstances to be used to help any gross transgenders: Read more on Girl Scouts Will Get Along Just Fine Without Transgender-Hating Bigot Bucks, Thank You…
  but really how DO fuckin' magnets work?

Wingnuts Outraged Juggalos And Fox News Classified As Hate Groups, Except They Weren’t

Not a hate group leader.
When you are a wingnut, you know several things about life: Nobummer is a Muslin; you are NOT EITHER racist; and mean liberals call you a dumb bigot, just because you’re a dumb bigot. They REALLY hate it when the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) classifies one of your extracurricular activities as a “hate group,” when all you’re doing is spreading false, malicious hate against blacks, gays, lesbians, Messicans and others. The great investigative journalist David Neiwert tells us the story of some of these very put-upon wingnuts, getting totally suckered by fake stories about how Fox News and the Juggalos — for the uninitiated, “Juggalos” are the cultish, make-up-wearing, Faygo-drinking fans of the band Insane Clown Posse — were classified as hate groups, except for not. Turn your outrage meter to ELEVENTY: Read more on Wingnuts Outraged Juggalos And Fox News Classified As Hate Groups, Except They Weren’t…
  I Slam You Slam We All Slam Islam!

Muslim-Hatin’ Rep. Steve King Sure There’s No Discrimination Against Muslims

Hey, he's not denying anyone a job right there, so he's cool
Iowa congressprick Steve “No I’m not the Novelist” King is disgusted — disgusted! — at the warped priorities of Homeland Security Secretary Jeh Johnson, who said in February that he would “give voice to the plight of Muslims living in this country and the discrimination that they face.” King thinks that’s a pretty weird thing to say, since, as far as Steve King knows, Muslim-Americans simply don’t face any discrimination. Read more on Muslim-Hatin’ Rep. Steve King Sure There’s No Discrimination Against Muslims…
  We've heard this tune before

Texas Lady So Mad Airbnb Gave Her Bed, Breakfast And Bigotry The Boot

Let’s fire up a new GoFundMe for a lady bigot what’s hatin’ the gays! The city: Galveston, Texas. The business: Airbnb. The gays: Jonathan and Brent. So here is what happened. Jonathan Wang and his man-lover Brent (no last name provided, maybe he is like Madonna!) were in Galveston to see their friends get married, and they found themselves a nice bed and breakfast on the Airbnb website. Everything was great until they came back and met the owner, some bing bong named “Heather,” who inquired as to where his lovely wife might be. Wang was like “nope, lady, ain’t got no wife, but this is my man friend Brent!” Heather did NOT like that: Read more on Texas Lady So Mad Airbnb Gave Her Bed, Breakfast And Bigotry The Boot…
  Won't somebody think of the racists?

Deli Owner: No One Liked My White History Month Celebration, Please Send Bigot Bucks Now!

Hello, it is your Wonkette, and we are here to report to you that this whole “I’m a bigot, give me all the cash on GoFundMe” thing is no longer a random occurrence, nor is it a pattern, it’s a damned INDUSTRY. Meet your new grifter, Jim Boggess of Flemington, New Jersey! What act of bigotry and subsequent backlash has beset poor Jim? Oh, just that he put a sign in the window of his establishment, Jimbo’s Deli, asking people to celebrate their “white heritage” for the month of March. Apparently Boggess never got the memo that ALL THE MONTHS are White History Month, including the one where Americans perfunctorily make note of famous black Americans through history. Read more on Deli Owner: No One Liked My White History Month Celebration, Please Send Bigot Bucks Now!…
  Not gonna grease their gearboxes either

Michigan Mechanic Won’t Serve The Queers, Time To Crank Up The Old GoFundMe

He knows Jesus hates gays as much he does.
Because it is a day, here is a story about a bigot who needs you to know that he, as a white male (reportedly) heterosexual, is being oppressed, because gay people exist. Introduce yourselves to Brian Klawiter, owner of the Dieseltec auto repair shop in Grandville, Michigan, who took to the FaceSpace on Tuesday morning to say he’s sick of all these gays, and that if one of them has a diesel truck and comes in looking for a lube job, HE AIN’T GONNA GIVE IT! Let’s take a looksee at the various parts of his Very Well Constructed Word Thoughts, and see if we can learn something: Read more on Michigan Mechanic Won’t Serve The Queers, Time To Crank Up The Old GoFundMe…
  But in a good way!

Christian Church Will Take Convention To Better State Than Anti-Gay Indiana, For Religious Freedom

The Disciples of Christ denomination's cup runneth over, even for gays!
Yesterday we learned that the organizers of Gen Con, a huge gamer convention that brings about $50 million a year in tourism moneys to Indianapolis, are threatening to pick up and leave Indiana once their contract with the state expires, because Gov. Mike Pence promised to sign a backward bill that says it will guarantee “religious freedom,” but is in a reality a license for the most horrible residents of Indiana to discriminate against LGBT people by denying service, accommodations and whatnot. Gov. Pence has now made good on that promise, signing the bill Thursday morning in a “private ceremony.” Good for the Gen Con folks, because an Indiana with a “Fuck You Gays” bill doesn’t deserve tourism money. But now a true House Of The Lord is ALSO threatening to take their convention to a better state. Yes, you read that right. A Christian denomination, the Disciples Of Christ to be exact, wrote a letter to the governor saying, “Sorry, we follow Jesus,” because apparently a law designed to discriminate against a minority goes against their Sincerely Held Religious Beliefs: Read more on Christian Church Will Take Convention To Better State Than Anti-Gay Indiana, For Religious Freedom…
  They're so nice they didn't even add "OR DEATH?"

Nice Texas Democrats Give Delicious Gay Love Cakes To Bigot Republicans

Try it, we promise it won't make you gay. Much.
Texan bigots are just NOT OKAY with all these homosexuals comin’ all up into Texas and destroying opposite marriage for everybody. Know who IS okay with the gays destroying everything? Texas Democrats, that is who! They decided this week to deliver gay love cakes to a select group of the worst gay-hatin’ Texas Republicans of all: Read more on Nice Texas Democrats Give Delicious Gay Love Cakes To Bigot Republicans…
  Here have some Nice Time

MI Gym Tells Lady Bellyaching About Trans People In Locker Room To Shove It

Behind door number three is this bitch named Yvette, who isn't allowed at this gym anymore.
How about a story with a happy ending? (Not that kind, you perverts!) Up in Midland, Michigan, there is an outpost of Planet Fitness, which happens to have moved into yr Wonkette’s own neighborhood recently. We have heard, from people, that it’s a place where everybody is welcome, and that it’s not full of meatheads. So, at the Midland location, a woman named Yvette Cormier was just shocked and awed and probably had all her religious freedom stolen, because there is a trans woman who goes to the same gym, and wouldn’t you know, the gym actually lets her use the locker room that corresponds with her gender identity! This was, of course, an outrage, so Ms. Cormier, like some icky people are wont to do, complained and complained, until the gym addressed her concerns by saying, “the trans woman can stay, and you get to leave, you suck, bye,” canceling her membership the way Jesus would’ve: Read more on MI Gym Tells Lady Bellyaching About Trans People In Locker Room To Shove It…
  Making George Wallace Proud

Alabama Smashes Marriage So Nobody Gets to Play with It Now

Nailed it.
Gay marriage is oppressing the poor judges of the state of Alabama, and they’ve decided to fight back by wrecking ALL the marriages. Monday was the first day of gay marriages in the great state of Alabama. Yay! However, turns out the state’s conservative judges are pretty committed to stopping this onslaught of love and affection, destroying all happiness throughout the land, and completing their transformation into Care Bear villains. Read more on Alabama Smashes Marriage So Nobody Gets to Play with It Now…
  Somehow Forgot To Leave Out A Bowl Of Communion Wafers

Muslim Texans Singing (American) National Anthem Shouted Down By The *Real* Patriots

She seems nice
Thursday was “Texas Muslim Capitol Day,” an annual event held to encourage Muslim Texans to visit the state capitol in Austin and learn about state government and how to meet with lawmakers and such. Which means, of course, that a few Patriotic TexAmericans decided that the Muslims were taking over the Capitol so they can CRAM SHARIA LAW DOWN ARE THROATS!!!1!! There were angry protestors out on the statehouse lawn, and state Rep. Molly White left this important message on her FacePlaceSpace: Read more on Muslim Texans Singing (American) National Anthem Shouted Down By The *Real* Patriots…
  it gets better then worse

Bible-Thumping Global Charity ‘World Vision’ Has Brief Shining Moment Of Reasonableness On Gay Marriage, Is Sorry About That

Courage of convictions. This is one of the most important courages out there, cited more often than almost any other courage. So it came as quite a pleasant surprise when World Vision, one of the largest faith-based, pro-Jesus global charities on the planet, announced that they would hire legally married gay couples. Kudos to World Vision! Proud that you are willing to stand up for what’s right, as you continue to spend about a billion dollars per year making the world a better place. Let’s get out the old checkbook and… wait, what? Say that louder, NPR: World Vision U.S. changed course on Wednesday, saying it would return to its policy of not hiring Christians in gay marriages. The Washington-state-based charity caused an uproar among its supporters when it announced on Monday that based on the changes many churches were making, it would allow the hiring of avowed Christians who had been legally married to someone of the same sex. Two days! The change lasted for an entire two days?!? To put that in perspective, it took World Vision less time to reverse its position on LGBT folks than it did for Jesus to rise from the grave. Let’s angersplore.  Read more on Bible-Thumping Global Charity ‘World Vision’ Has Brief Shining Moment Of Reasonableness On Gay Marriage, Is Sorry About That…
  too flaggy for words

California Lady Has Cheerful Christmas Answer To Neighbors Who Bitched About Her Rainbow Flag

Here’s some industrial-strength Nice Time, courtesy of our old friend Evan Hurst (Wonkette misses you, Evan!) at TruthWinsOut: That photo up there is the home of Dr. Mary Pham of Irvine, California, who started flying a rainbow flag over her home last spring when all her neighbors were putting up flags for sports teams and seasonal-themed flags. It turned out to be a bit more controversial than she thought: In July, she was told that people had been writing angry emails to her HOA about the flag. When she saw them, she was taken aback by the hateful language she saw. One of them referred to the flag as a “Fag Flag.” “Is the GAY PRIDE [in large font and rainbow colors] display protected by free speech rights?” its author asked. “The Orange Tree Patio Homes neighbors are shaking their heads in disgust.” Yes, we suppose that it is not all that surprising that people in a Homeowners Association might be disgusted by free speech. That’s pretty much what they’re for. Read more on California Lady Has Cheerful Christmas Answer To Neighbors Who Bitched About Her Rainbow Flag…
  Won't someone please think of the bigots?

Bigots Demand Their First Amendment Right To Ex-Gay You For Your Own Salvation And The First Amendment

Did you know that trying to stop The Gay Homosexual Agenda Of GayTM is still a thing, even though the Supreme Court earlier this year was all, like,, “Jesus Christ on a cracker, that anti-gay bullcrap is just so nineties, let’s cut that out,” and even George Big Daddy Bush recently attended a lesbian wedding of lesbians lesbian-marrying each other in a lesbian way. Yeah, so we’re pretty much all agreed that in America, no one much cares anymore if you want to gay-marry your dog or whatever. Except for this guy, Christopher Doyle, who is on a mission to make gays stop gaying themselves. Mr. Doyle is not just the founder of a website and organizer of an ex-gay rally that, shockingly, failed to convert any gays to ex-gayism. He is also an undercover investimagator who has discovered that universities are not even trying to turn gays into ex-gays! The horror! Read more on Bigots Demand Their First Amendment Right To Ex-Gay You For Your Own Salvation And The First Amendment…
  where's the dang fence?

Arizona Wingnuts Simply Do Not Care For John McCain’s Sex Affair With All The Mexicans

Oh John McCain, who you pissing off now? Fresh off his failed attempt to either make the Muslim Brotherhood gay marry Egypt or else get the fuck bombed out of them, the failed presidential candidate, naval pilot, and possible Hillary ’16 supporter, Senator John McCain, has decided to shut up for a second about those foreign browns to re-focus on some closer to home. And now he is failing big time with bigots in Arizona, by holding another one of his closed town hall meetings today with the aptly surnamed other Republican Senator from Arizona, Jeff Flake. The two apparently wanted to have a “Conversation on Immigration” without being screamed at by tea-baggers about illegal immigrants who are “illiterate invaders who want free government benefits” and instead said they’d let them watch it on their computers and maybe answer their tweets if they feel like it. (They will not feel like it.) Read more on Arizona Wingnuts Simply Do Not Care For John McCain’s Sex Affair With All The Mexicans…
  finger lickin' shameful

Voice Of Michigan Wolverines Football Thinks Tiger Woods & All The Blacks Should Be Proud Of Fried Chicken Eating Ways

Frank Beckmann, the long-time radio voice of the University of Michigan and severely Caucasian right-wing radio host/newspaper columnist, took time out from his normal activities (holding hands with football coaches and singing Josh Groban songs) to explain to his Detroit News audience that African-Americans shouldn’t be ashamed about that whole black people eating fried chicken stereotype because these stereotypes really should be symbols of pride for the African-American community that Frank Beckmann knows and loves so well. Read more on Voice Of Michigan Wolverines Football Thinks Tiger Woods & All The Blacks Should Be Proud Of Fried Chicken Eating Ways…
  that's so gay

Everyone So Mad At Terrible Michigan RNC Committeeman Homophobe Dave Agema Being Terrible

Dave Agema, the Republican National Committeeman from Michigan and former state representative, is a Wonkette favorite. Wonketeers love him for his charming efforts to cut funding to a program that buys clothes for orphans, his willingness to miss key budget votes to shoot Siberian sheep, his fondness for tear-gassing American citizens, his deep-abiding belief that Barack Obama must be a Muslim, his endless curiosity about The Onion’s Obama has a secret 19-year-old son story, and his trophy wife that Wonkette commenter “Barbara_” says came engraved “fourth place.” Sadly, not everyone loves Dave Agema like you guys love him. Lots of mean, old Republicans are upset with Agema because he Facebooked a column from this right-wing witchdoctor that’s filled with erroneous information about teh gheys. It’s like, what, suddenly now it’s a problem to say “homosexuals account for half the murders in large cities”? Whatever happened to free speech and family values and the God-given right to kick homos in the teeth? With votes. Those things are gone now apparently. Even Michigan Speaker of the House Jase Bolger, who once bravely protected us from the horrors of the word “vagina” being uttered on the state house floor, is joining this lavander mob that’s bullying poor Dave Agema for repeating things that are easily disprovable and mostly implausible on their face. Read more on Everyone So Mad At Terrible Michigan RNC Committeeman Homophobe Dave Agema Being Terrible…
  paper or plastic?

‘Religious Freedom!’ Cries Crazy Texas Bigot What Don’t Want No ‘Negroidal Person’ Bagging His Vittles

Hey, crazy Texas bigots! Got any freedom of religion lawsuits you’d like to file today? Oh, it’s against your religion to have a black man bag your groceries? Sure, that will do! Little Green Footballs brings us the heartwarming News Journal tale of this Texas man a-whoopin’ and a-hollerin’ about how he don’t want no “negroidal person” touching his food, while bagging it at the grocery store. The store owner — who has just earned himself an Opposite Day Chick-fil-A love-in — told the crazy bigot he couldn’t shop at that grocer’s no more. And now the crazy bigot has filed suit, because they oppressed his religious freedom to not have black people bag his food. Read more on ‘Religious Freedom!’ Cries Crazy Texas Bigot What Don’t Want No ‘Negroidal Person’ Bagging His Vittles…
  a shanda

WND: Blacks Lazy, Shiftless, ‘Should Be More Like Jews’

The proper response to the WND story “Blacks Should Be More Like Jews,” by Aliza Davidovit, is “uhhhhh.” It starts with a roll call of successful people of Jewishness, and then explains that they did it by getting up earlier and working harder than everyone else, not by being on food stamps and welfare like some people. But it’s not just welfare queens and young bucks who have ruined a perfectly good black experience in this country, like we used to have in the 1950s: it’s also teachers unions and Barack Obama, who decimated the black middle class by axing all those government jobs! Oh, Davidovit didn’t note that part? Weird! Read more on WND: Blacks Lazy, Shiftless, ‘Should Be More Like Jews’…
  war on conseritaves

Nice Gay Republican Candidate Fred Karger Gets Loving Welcome From Utah GOP Chair’s Illiterate Bigot Lady-Wife

Fred Karger, who is a gay Republican who is still running for president (how cute is that?) went to Utah and did some politicking. He met with Washington County Republican Party Chairman Willie Billings, who Karger said was “welcoming” and “friendly.” They had a nice time! Karger gave Billings a Frisbee! We would let this email (above!) from “nanette Billings” — and could someone on her husband’s staff show her how to capitalize her own name properly in her email headers? — speak for itself, but then “nanette” had MORE to say! Read more on Nice Gay Republican Candidate Fred Karger Gets Loving Welcome From Utah GOP Chair’s Illiterate Bigot Lady-Wife…
  Winger Tango

Wyoming On ‘The Road’ To Crisis Plan For Zombie/Hippie Uprising

Managing not to jizz themselves at the Ted Nugentness of it all, the Survivalists of the Wyoming House passed by voice vote a first reading of House Bill 85, which would prepare the “state” for potential catastrophes from Cormac McCarthy nuclear babyrapists to zombies to stoner Occupy louts to negroes come for their women. (But especially zombies.) Having already stocked its cellar with enough ammo to hold off Janet Reno for months, Wyoming turned its attention to every other Angry White Lumpen crank-approved militia-weirdo anti-gubmint Unabomer Manifesto face-melting Idea and said, “Hooboy gimmeee summa what that yeeeh bob burp,” or something, we don’t speak scary isolationist hillbilly bigot. Read more on Wyoming On ‘The Road’ To Crisis Plan For Zombie/Hippie Uprising…
  give him an hbo special

Recalled AZ Bigot Lawmaker Staying Busy Telling Awkward Scrotum Jokes

There are only two things that GOP state politicians in Arizona are allowed to discuss and/or think about: Hunting Mexicans on the one hand, and Another Dude’s Genitals, on the other. If Paul Babeu wasn’t enough to support this theory, former Arizona State Senator Russell Pearce — the crazed wingnut responsible for the state’s anti-brown people law who was recently recalled for being too insane even for Arizona — is now devoting his spare time to working out stand-up routines about, yes, testicles. So tell us, Russell Pearce, how do you segue from the setup, “the minister in church was giving a sermon on gratitude” to a joke about an ATV crash that ends with some guy’s nutsack being crushed? Read more on Recalled AZ Bigot Lawmaker Staying Busy Telling Awkward Scrotum Jokes…