More revelations than usual this week on Tina Brown’s pro-bono Electra Complex study, The Daily Beast. Famous “daughter of” Elizabeth Gates, daughter of Skip Gates, has insights about last week’s impossibly crucial Treaty of Beersailles between her father, the cop who handcuffed him to the Past, and the President of the United States. Blind item! WHICH major player in this incident wore “an appropriately heavy and charmingly untrained amount of green eyeliner on her lower lashes”—a savvy cosmetological atonement that, in many ways, taught everyone something about America? MORE »

PUT BARACK AND McCAIN ON THE PORCH: You know what would be awesome? If all the candidates would “go home” and do a “Front Porch Campaign.” Then we could laser-bomb their homes, from space. [Political Machine]