big bird

Let’s say you are a wildly successful individual and have generally accomplished a good deal in your life. You are getting older, retired from you job, and are deciding what to do with your golden years. Wisely deciding against whale oil investments and buying land next to foamy sploading pigshit, you have several options in […]

First they came for Big Bird, and we did not care, because dude, old news. (Little known fact: if you stop funding the NEA, Sesame Street and Planned Parenthood, there would be enough budget left over to fund at least three GSA conventions.) They ALWAYS come for Big Bird, because sharing = communism, everybody knows […]

Oh hey liberals, remember how in the opening moments of the first presidential debate Mitt Romney was all like “I love Big Bird, but he should not be paid for with taxes,” and you thought this was hilarious, but then Obama started losing and then you peed your pants and launched into a five-day crying […]

Hardass Mitt Romney is now the actual GOP frontrunner, so it’s finally time to get serious, take a real stand on some issues, go IN DEPTH instead of standing around waffling on the margins always looking no matter what he wears like a dork in a turtleneck clutching an asthma inhaler while waiting for the […]