We do not know too much about Jesus literature. What kind of monstrously fucked-up prude porn is in the King James Bible that grants it — and it alone, out of EVERY ITEM EVER MADE — a stay from this North Carolina church’s Hell-o-ween holocaust? Maybe it’s the action scenes. MORE »

If we are to believe recent news reports, the C Street clubhouse hosts many dudes — okay, two or three dudes — who at one time or another found comfort in the arms of ladies who were not their wives. But wait! Wasn’t this a Bible study group or something, in addition to being a Capitol Hill boarding house for adulterers? Yes — which might explain the wildly hedonist shenanigans that took place in that den of foulness, according to Rep. Pete Hoekstra. MORE »

As a famous statistician once said, “Three data points make a trend,” and that is why we can now confidently announce that the Bible study-group-slash-frat house known as the C Street Group stands at the cutting edge of the marital infidelity movement. MORE »

Oh hey has everyone seen that GQ article by the perpetually awesome Robert Draper about how completely insane the Defense Department went under the crazed leadership of lilliputian despot Donald Rumsfeld? GOOD GOLLY, as Rumsfeld would say. MORE »

You’ve been waiting for it all day, and here it is: your “Tuesday Fun Link.” Today’s link directs you to “Boycott McDonald’s,” an effort from some terrible thing called the American Family Association. Naturally, these people are not boycotting McDonald’s because they are starting diets — on the contrary, we assume they are all fat fucks who continue to patronize the likes of Wendy’s, Burger King, and “Sonic” on a daily basis. They are boycotting McDonald’s because of this: “It is about McDonald’s, as a corporation, refusing to remain neutral in the culture wars. McDonald’s has chosen not to remain neutral but to give the full weight of their corporation to promoting the homosexual agenda, including homosexual marriage.” And GUESS WHAT? This website has a comments section!! MORE »

Huckles appeared on Today this morning (I assume) to explain why he wants to convert the Constitution into the Jesus Novel. It’s great how whenever he’s asked whether homosexuality is a sin, he responds, “Oh we’re all sinners, and now here’s a joke to change the subject!” And that subject always does get changed, even though he’s left us with the logical conundrum that all of our “sinful” tendencies should be banned by Constitutional amendments.

Good news, Paultards! Doctor Congressman Ron Paul has won a very important endorsement from the “Constitution Party” and its 2005 presidential candidate, Michael Anthony Peroutka! Mr. Peroutka says RP is the best guy “from a Christian/Biblical and Constitutional perspective” and other than the whole pussying out on Iraq thing, we would have to sort of agree with Mr. Peroutka. You will two, after you read his evidence: MORE »

There’s a great new (or old?) association in town, and it’s very unpopular. The International Bible Reading Association held a big event at the Capitol yesterday, if by “big event” you mean “600 chairs were set up, and a total of 37 people sat down, and most of those were tourists eating their lunch, and Jeff Gannon is the spokesman.” MORE »

* Gang war eruptz in Logan Circle! 5-0 Mob versuz the New Commandment Baptist Church Crewz, Beat downz imminent! [DCeiver] MORE »

God do we love this woman. Let’s just skip the whole “election” thing and make her president right now. Here is Hillary’s latest pronouncement: MORE »

And they are quite considerable, as we all know. MORE »