LIVEBLOGGING SOTOMAYOR? Look, we’ll do this, but only if every other form of news occurring in the world gets really boring. So … yeah, probably for a few minutes this afternoon? Because why not. In the meantime, you can SATE YOUR THIRST for dull platitudes on this hot Senate porn cam. [Senate Committee on the Judiciary]

O.J. Simpson did exactly two admirable things in his life: he played football well, and he was in The Towering Inferno. Besides that he was a completely unhinged wife-beating and likely double-homiciding egomaniacal lunatic with impulse-control problems. If you are the LA Times’ resident turdburglar Jonah Goldberg, you look at O.J. Simpson’s depressing, shameful, and entirely predictable decline — culminating in his recent prison sentence for armed robbery — and say, “Hmm, what does this have to do with that other black gentleman I have heard of, Barack Obama?” MORE »

• MICHAEL DUKAKIS IS IN THE TANK TOO: McCain strategist Steve Schmidt, who is Karl Rove’s actual bald son, spent all morning yelling at all reporters about how they’re “in the tank” for Barack Obama. And then Politico dominatrix Ben Smith asked the campaign to back up some of the claims Schmidt was making. And then McCain spokesman Brian Rogers e-mailed Smith back, “You are in the tank.” Ha. So Ben Smith naturally wrote a mean piece about the McCain campaign, because he is in the tank. [Politico]

The Obama campaign is all about IMAGE CONTROL these days and GOOD OPTICS, which is why nobody can wear a green Hamas shirt around the candidate. Now Barack Obama is stone cold ignoring the press on his Middle Eastern Hope ‘N Basketball Tour, leaving it to some military nobody to hold the camera while he shoots three-pointers when really such hard-hitting news coverage should be left to trained journalistic professional nobodies. MORE »

Despite the fact that he now leads the Democratic nomination race by every conceivable metric, Barack Obama will not be the candidate running against John McCain. Legions of Clinton die-hards will turn out in West Virginia tomorrow to stick it to MSNBC, Robert Reich, non-hard-working white people, and other members of the sexist cabal who want Hillary to throw in the towel before she has humiliated herself in all 50 states (plus Guam, Samoa, the Virgin Islands, Puerto Rico, and Tatooine). MORE »

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Hate treason and have some time to kill? Why not head over the the DC bureau offices of the New York Times to join Accuracy in Media’s own Cliff Kincaid and some of his closest friends in a high-spirited “protest of treasonous reporting”? The fun starts at noon! Adam Nagourney might be there — he’s pretty treasonous, right? Be there (1627 I St., NW) or be objectively pro-terror. MORE »

Remember that possible media bias scandal at the St. Petersburg Times? Here’s the paper’s explanation: MORE »

Hey, St. Petersburg Times — welcome to your media bias scandal!

The entire article is saved for posterity, after the jump. Though as of right now, it’s still live and online.

Questions: Where did this come from? Is this Carl Cameron redux?

Update: It’s from the Borowitz report. No wonder we didn’t recognize it. Also, taken down, alas.

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On this, another in a recent run of slow-ish news days (June! Sun! Recess!), Matt is clearly grasping at straws.

Some poor intern must’ve slogged through god knows how many wire photos to find the one that best illustrated that particular non-sequitur. Hey, these only took us two minutes! MORE »

* Would a clandestine Conservative buy-out of the NYT curb the influence of liberal media? John Hawkins thinks not. Liberals will travel the earth in search of another outlet to control — until the haunting mass appeal of conservative ideology takes root. [Right Wing News]
* “My folks are driving me nuts. How can I get them to understand that I really do know it all at fifteen?” Blogger Joe offers a frustrated teen some words of encouragement, unsolicited sartorial advice, and some fun things to look forward to as he ages: embarrassing yearbook photos, Tim McGraw concerts, and a treatable case of 24-hour Republicanism. [The Evangelical Outpost]
* Blogger Jay interviews Alabama Congressman Robert Aderholt to uncover the truth behind his Constitution Restoration Act. Aderholt tells you what it is, why you need it, and how cautious optimism is keeping it alive. [Stop The ACLU]
* Deepak Chopra answers the questions of your soul. Disillusioned Americans are prescribed a heaping dose of reality to handle the duties of Superpower. [HuffPo]
* Mike Pechar confirms that centuries-old suspicion that the French really like their language. The blogger scolds the stubborn and dramatic Chirac, who abruptly left an EU summit after one of his countrymen addressed the attendees in English. [The Jawa Report]