Tag: bestiality

Seven Times The Media Lied About Trump’s New HUD Pick, Ben Carson, By Quoting Him

The media's always misunderstood poor Ben Carson. Thanks to Donald Trump, he can keep on making no sense at all.
Just gonna put this here one more time.

Michigan Lawmakers Tried To Solve Flint Water Crisis By Banning Buttsex

You might not think of Michigan as being in the running for finding the gays the ickiest, but it's right up there with somewhere like West Virginia or Oklahoma or Kentucky. Thinking about the gays just makes the Michigan state...

Obama Set To Legalize Dog-On-Boy Rape, Says Clinically Sane Tom DeLay

"This is coming. And it's coming like a tidal wave." Tom Delay, the former Speaker Majority Leader of the House of Representatives -- really, the national one! -- knows a tidal wave of coming when he sees one, and...
No. Just ... no.

Man Bones Wife’s Dog. Down, Boy, Down!

Um, fellas? We know it can be hard to be a man sometimes because ... well, you say so. It can be especially hard if you are the jealous type, and your wife does not dote on you 27 hours a...
Your cancer is in another castle!

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Your Week In New Age Quack-Quack Woo

Greetings, pals! I see you've returned for another edition of the Snake Oil Bulletin, your weekly round-up of the worst -- just the absolute worst -- in poppycock to promulgate throughout this vast interweb of ours. Let's waste no...

Excuse Us While We F*ck This Dolphin: Your Florida Roundup

We have finally (already?) reached Peak Florida Man. Peak Florida Man, as it turns out, is a 63-year-old named Malcolm Brenner who is the subject of a new documentary examining his year-long love affair with a dolphin back in...
Judge DePiazza

Hero Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore Will Block Gay Courthouse Door, For Freedom

Fellow Patriots®, are you tired of the gay agenda being rammed down your throat? Are you afraid that the repeated joyous celebrations of legalized gay marriage exploding all over your face will give you gay herpes of the eye?...

Good Christian Male Seeks Loving Canine Companion For Long Walks On The Beach, Buttsex

Jerald Hill, president of Windermere Baptist Conference Center in Bone County, Missouri, may soon have a lot more time to spend with his family, since he got arrested for trying to make love to a dog. The investigation began...

Derp Roundup: Jenna Bush Has A Posse — And They’re Big Jerk Babies

Welcome to another edition of Derp Roundup, the feature where we bring you the very best of the worst detritus that's clung to our browser tabs all week. We find the stories that are too short for a full...

What’s All This About Paul Ryan Blowing A Dog?

A couple of weeks ago, I ended my column with a lie: "Next time:" I wrote, "What if Paul Ryan blew a dog whistle so loudly that everybody, not just dogs, could hear it?" Of course I had no...

Bradlee Dean Thinks New York Public Schools Are Teaching Kids To Do Sex With Animals

Oh, golly, you know sometimes Yr Doktor Zoom goes a few weeks or more without encountering the odd mental oscillations of Wonkette frenemy Bradlee Dean, who keeps failing to sue us so we can get all his money. We...

This New Hampshire Rep Just Emailed His Colleagues This Very Good Picture Of Boobs

O hai TEXAS! What are you doing? Just cold illustratin' this list of gun "facts," as sent around to all his colleagues by New Hampshire Brain Genius Rep. Gary Hopper? Sounds like hard work. You keep bein' you. So,...

You Are Not Gay Anymore, Thanks To Horse-Fondling School

When you were born, there was always something different about you. When you were little, you were interested in "girl things" like Barbie Dolls and learning. When you were in high school and all the other boys were doing...

Let’s Decompress With A Sweet Story About A Mini-Donkey And The Boy Who Loves Her

In all seriousness, Wonkette people, today has been awful when it comes to The News. America's every-other-day massacre was particularly horrible and heartwrenching today, as news came out that twenty-seven people, mostly kids, were gunned down in an elementary...

‘Big Hollywood’ Saves America from Candy And Chewing Gum Company’s Pro-Bestiality Agenda

Has John Nolte of the Breitbart remnant blog Big Hollywood gone completely nuts, or has he perhaps just read so much of his own bullshit that he is incapable of distinguishing his usual brand of faux outrage from absurd...

Happy Halloween Midterm Horror!

By the Comics CurmudgeonHooray, Tuesday will be the election, for real! Then we won't ever have to worry about politics ever again, at least until mid-January, when Speaker Boehner orders us all to be rounded up and put...