Georgia gubernatorial candidate Neal Horsley, a.k.a. “The One,” wants to secede from America because of the liberals. This charming fellow made headlines a few years ago when he got into an argument with Alan Colmes, who simply couldn’t understand why Horsley would fuck the shit out of mules. (”Welcome to domestic life on the farm… If it’s warm and it’s damp and it vibrates, you might in fact have sex with it.”) And now, in an interview with Raw Story Dylan Otto Krider, Horsley says he would kill his son in a secessionist rebellion, because hey, WAR IS HELL (and also he almost killed him once before in a dumb argument, ha). MORE »

Thanks, Pareene, for finding this political commentary on Craigslist. We knew about the first two problems, but is this bestiality aversion just a New York thing? Is it because everyone there has genital herpes on their genitalia? [Missed Connections]

FLORIDA IS FOR COW-SEXING: The Florida state legislature closed its 2008 session last Friday, but was unable to ban either Truck Nutz or, less importantly, bestiality before the closing bells. [Tampa Bay Online]

Each week, the Comics Curmudgeon helps explain Today’s Cartoons.

Oh boy oh boy oh boy! With a mere 97 months or whatever until the election, the negative attacks are beginning in earnest! For instance, you may have heard that Obama is a dirty plagiarist, and that McCain has sexy sex with sexy lobbyists, and that Hillary eats Christian babies! That’s all true, but how can you tell when the negative stories you read about the candidates are actually totally false bogus lies? Fortunately, we here at Cartoon Violence are here to separate the truth from the fiction — at least, when the fiction is in political cartoon form. MORE »

How’d that “Merry Fitzmas” work out, anyway? Oh, not so good? Oh well! Iran totally had it coming. MORE »

Ex-senator and crying-child farmer Rick Santorum has a great new plan: He’s going to start a bank in Pennsylvania — a sperm bank! MORE »

This might be the greatest, most convincing website we have ever read. Gays must be denied domestic partnership benefits for the simple reason that dogs do not MOO. MORE »

Illegal immigrants are taxing our nation’s social services and health care system. They’re placing new strains upon state and local governments. And now they’re screwing our pooches: MORE »

The gay marriage “slippery slope” just got a little more slippery, at least in Sudan: MORE »