OH woah woah woah, Best Buy has wished Muslims a Happy Eid al-Adha, the Islamic festival of sacrifice during which Muslims are traditionally encouraged to donate to charity?? Uhh nice try. Free Republic will boycott Best Buy now, just cold won’t shop there anymore, maybe it’ll even go out of business, right? And when all those Best Buy employees lose their jobs, terrorism/Muslims will be FINITIO. MORE »

Oh! How we all laughed when we read earlier this week about Senator Ted Stevens’ (R-AK) dizzying cluelessness about the internet. But what if Stevens, I wondered, woke up one day and found himself, Kafka-like, to be a salesman for Best Buy?

• 9:00 AM: Ted finally gives up after searching half-an-hour for the 8-track tape department.
• 11:30 AM:Stevens is asked to show how an iPod works but defers after he is unable to locate the crank.
• 2:00 PM:Ted watches some pre-teen customers trying out the video games and is impressed by how perfectly they sync their hand movements to the movie playing on the screen.
• 3:30 PM: Stevens’ coworkers fail to see the need for a “wireless demonstration hoop” to convince the public of their “miraculous claims”.
• 4:30 PM: Ted is called into his supervisor’s office where he is promoted to assistant manager.