Tag Archives: bernie sanders

  Best damn Elizabeth Warren ever

Elizabeth Warren Is Our 2014 Legislative Badass Of The Year, Obviously Duh

How much do we heart the senator and perfessor of Massachusetts, the greatest and bestest Elizabeth Warren who ever Elizabeth Warrened? Pretty much all. Sure, there are a few — a very few — non-Elizabeth Warrens in the Senate who aren’t too bad for being non-Elizabeth Warrens. Bernie Sanders, the socialist senator from Vermont, isn’t too bad at badassing and makes a mighty fine runner-up for 2014 Legislative Badass. Read more on Elizabeth Warren Is Our 2014 Legislative Badass Of The Year, Obviously Duh…
  Bernie Sanders For Everything

Bernie Sanders Has 12-Point Plan To Save America By Eating The Rich

Bernie Sanders, our favorite socialist senator and only socialist senator but still our favorite anyway, has a terrific new economic plan to save America, and it’s so crazy it just might work! Except, of course, that it will never work, because sadly, our Senate is filled with a whole bunch of senators who are not Bernie Sanders, and do not ask the kinds of questions he asks, such as, for example: Read more on Bernie Sanders Has 12-Point Plan To Save America By Eating The Rich…
  Dupe Dupe Dupe Dupe Of Oil Oil Oil

Dems Reject Mary Landrieu Job Preservation Act, Beautiful Tar Sands Pipeline

Now how can we show our love for the tar sands?
This post made possible by the Patty Dumpling Endowed Chair for Clean Gas and Clean Coal and Clean Oil Spills and Clean Tar Sands and Word Salad. In a vote that either killed the economy forever or rescued the environment forever, the U.S. Senate last night fell one vote short of passing a bill calling for immediate approval of the Keystone XL Pipeline. The bill was supposed to magically make Louisiana Republicans like Sen. Mary Landrieu, although it’s not clear how. But Landrieu was not quite able to round up enough Democrats to support the bill, and now she is reduced to hoping that saying nice things about National Adoption Day will get her reelected. Read more on Dems Reject Mary Landrieu Job Preservation Act, Beautiful Tar Sands Pipeline…
  the power of aqua buddha compels you

Rand Paul Sure Loves This Dude Who Loves The Confederacy

Senator, you forgot to put on pants AGAIN???
Like Jesus, we all have a cross to bear, and our particular cross is shaped like Sen. Rand Paul (R-Headdesk), a man so dumb that we are amazed he is allowed out of his house without wearing a helmet and a mouth guard. And when he joins forces with Judge Andrew Napolitano, the Confederate apologist prone to criticizing President Lincoln for forcing an end to slavery when the judge insists the “peculiar institution” would have eventually, someday, probably, likely died out on its own? The tsunami of dumb unleashed on the public could make Idiocracy look like the Oxford classroom scenes in Chariots of Fire. Read more on Rand Paul Sure Loves This Dude Who Loves The Confederacy…
  Here have some news n stuff

Rand Paul Bravely Talks To Black People

So brave, so bold
Guess this counts as one of the exciting new Ideas! from the Republican Party. Black people: They’re people too! After meeting with NAACP leaders in Ferguson, Missouri, Sen. Rand Paul told CNN’s Wolf Blitzer that the Republicans Party’s biggest mistake in recent decades has been not reaching out to African-American voters. Read more on Rand Paul Bravely Talks To Black People…
  clipbait

You’ll Never Believe Who Jon Stewart Just Endorsed For President! (Video)

yeah, that one hurt
Jon Stewart had some fun with the seemingly eternal pre-campaign campaign season Tuesday, as Hillary Clinton flew to Iowa so she could once again announce that she may soon have an announcement to make about running for president. And now that she’s attended the 37th annual Tom Harkin Steak Fry, the die is cast. Maybe. (Stewart was most surprised to hear that retiring Sen. Harkin has a steak fry at all, especially after “all those years spinning my wheels at Sen. Daniel Patrick Moynihan’s Crawfish Boil.”) Read more on You’ll Never Believe Who Jon Stewart Just Endorsed For President! (Video)…
  Your morning cup of wut?

Bernie Sanders Says Shut Up, Pat Robertson Calls For Revolution (Again), And Other News You Can Maybe Use

Sorry, Virginia
We have good news and bad news. The good news is that it’s almost Friday. The bad news is that it’s not Friday yet. Here, have some news to make you laugh, cry, or just go back to bed. Read more on Bernie Sanders Says Shut Up, Pat Robertson Calls For Revolution (Again), And Other News You Can Maybe Use…
  ice cream socialist

Please Oh Please Run For President, Bernie Sanders

Earlier this month, Bernie Sanders told The Nation’s John Nichols that he is “prepared to run for President of the United States,” and now we are treated to a reminder of how awesome that would be every time we read a new “who besides Hillary” item. It is like an It Gets Better Project for socialists. It doesn’t matter at all that Bernie Sanders has little chance of becoming president. A serious Sanders run would act as a year-long opinion poll: “Should Democrats advocate for policies that will make the country better even if some people who run large financial institutions don’t like these policies?” If Sanders can push Hillary even half as far left as Santorum/Gingrich/Cain/Bachmann/Perry/FOX pushed Romney to the right, we might actually be able to vote for her in the general without risking injury to our mortal souls. Read more on Please Oh Please Run For President, Bernie Sanders…
  we're number 37! we're number 37!

Canadian Doctor Tells Sen. Richard Burr To GTFO About Single-Payer Healthcare. But Politely, In Canadian.

So this was a rather beautiful exchange in a Senate hearing on single-payer healthcare Tuesday. Sen. Richard Burr, who we are informed did not play either Perry Mason or Robert T. Ironside, was ready to come down like a million-pound shithammer on Canadian doctor Danielle Martin from Toronto, Canadaland, about that country’s complete failure to provide healthcare that even keeps people in Canastan alive and doesn’t kill them while they wait for treatment in an alley. Sadly for Burr, Dr. Martin didn’t even accept the premise of his questions, and set him straight — or maybe not, since he just plain ignored everything she said. It’s a pretty impressive Truthdown of the Senator nonetheless. Read more on Canadian Doctor Tells Sen. Richard Burr To GTFO About Single-Payer Healthcare. But Politely, In Canadian….
  Weekend Delivery At Bernie's

Vermont Socialist Sen. Bernie Sanders Will Save The Post Office With Booze And Fishing Licenses

Even if you’re a full-on socialist like Bernie Sanders (or our beloved and esteemed Editrix, may she live a thousand years), there’s a good chance you think the US Post Office is hemorrhaging money. But that’s because you’re not as awesome as Bernie Sanders, who sent us a nice email this afternoon about the Post Office that didn’t even make us pass out from boredom. Part of it said: “During the last 12 months, the Postal Service made a profit of $600 million picking up and delivering mail and packages to every household and business in America.” It turns out the Post Office only loses money because “Unlike any other public or private entity, under a 2006 law, the U.S. Postal Service must pre-fund retiree health benefits.” And this is SNORE DROOL COMA anyway Bernie Sanders is going to fix everything, by repealing that crap and letting the Post Office ship booze all over the place, like they do now, except it’ll be legal! What’s the plan, Comrade Sanders? Read more on Vermont Socialist Sen. Bernie Sanders Will Save The Post Office With Booze And Fishing Licenses…
  banksters

Bernie Sanders Will Pogrom Capitalism By Not Letting Banks Regulate Themselves

Hey remember when you lost your job and all your assets, or maybe took on tens of thousands dollars in school loans so you could pay for an education that would help you get a part-time job in retail? Remember that? That was fun, right? As you claw your way out of the hole created for you by this crisis, console yourself with the fact that the architects thereof sit on the boards of regulatory institutions charged with deciding if banks, say, get taxpayer dollars. There, don’t you feel better now? Read more on Bernie Sanders Will Pogrom Capitalism By Not Letting Banks Regulate Themselves…
  god is in his heaven

How Many Stupid, Stupid Lawmakers Do We Have in Congress, Imperiling Very Existence of Life on Earth?

Exactly how many stupid, stupid people do we have in Congress these days, toiling away in the world’s most deliberative lawmaking body, making decisions that will probably imperil the very survival of the human race? And of these stupid, stupid people, how many are willing to talk to reporters and make good and sure that there is a RECORD of their stupidity for posterity? Turns out, quite a few! Read more on How Many Stupid, Stupid Lawmakers Do We Have in Congress, Imperiling Very Existence of Life on Earth?…
  conspiracies

Wingnuts May Not Believe in Climate Change, But Insurance Companies Sure Do

Ugh, unwashed godless free market-hating ecoterrorist hippie cabal “the insurance industry” is whining about global warming, according to this press release just in from Bernie Sanders’ office. Oh just go make out with a bunch of dolphins, brainwashed hippies: Read more on Wingnuts May Not Believe in Climate Change, But Insurance Companies Sure Do…
  listicle without comment

A Complete List of National Politicians Who Have Embraced the Occupy Wall Street Protests

1) Bernie Sanders. — Originally posted September 30. UPDATE, October 5: 2) Dennis Kucinich UPDATE, October 5, 9 PM: 3) Russ Feingold (Obama, meanwhile, posts a Twitter about the sad death of billionaire industrialist Steve Jobs, but can’t be bothered to mention the many thousands of union members and unemployed protesting nationwide in hopes of getting some relief.) Read more on A Complete List of National Politicians Who Have Embraced the Occupy Wall Street Protests…
  festivus grievances

Bernie Sanders Going To Speak For All of Time

Bernie Sanders is currently filibustering on the floor of the Senate because he doesn’t like the Obama-Republican tax cut plan. He’s been at it since 10:25 am, according to a C-SPAN graphic, and he will soon be jumping in and out of wormholes so his voice can be heard everywhere and through all of time. Right now he is talking about educating children on Amtrak trains or something. We missed the part where he said, “My arthritis proves Obama is morally weak.” [C-SPAN] Read more on Bernie Sanders Going To Speak For All of Time…
  bidenmatic

Biden Sent To Congress To Get Democrats To Give Up On Tax Cut Plan

Democrats are a little upset that Obama hung out with Congress’ Republican leadership and came back with one of their matching “Tax Cuts Forever”-scripted leather jackets, so they’re not sure they will go along with his breathtaking cave (ooh! pretty stalactites!) on the issue. But Obama is very determined for his party in the legislature to give up their plan and take the Republican position, so he’s sent Joe Biden to the Hill to smooth things over. We have no idea how Biden got the part, because it’s a role that seems better suited to Steve Buscemi, but he will probably be successful, in spite of himself. If there’s one thing Democrats can agree on, it’s surrendering to opposition. Read more on Biden Sent To Congress To Get Democrats To Give Up On Tax Cut Plan…
  real progressives

Bernie Sanders Yells At Mean Old Tom Coburn

Harry Reid allowed friendly old Vermont socialist senator Bernie Sanders to bring his 700+ page single-payer establishing health care amendment to the floor today for a symbolic vote, hooray. But then C-Street cumbucket Tom Coburn decided to waste more taxpayer money by forcing a page to read the entire bill aloud, word-for-word, a process that would have taken more than a dozen hours. Bernie allowed this jackassery to go on for a little while before removing his amendment and instead delivering a RADICAL FIERY STEMWINDER OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, part of which you can watch in the clip above. Read more on Bernie Sanders Yells At Mean Old Tom Coburn…
 

Congressional Catfight: Jean Schmidt Takes the Wild Card Spot

Well, that was easy. We’ve had some really close calls here at Congressional Catfight, including one race that required a runoff. But this latest Catfight — a battle royal between five fighters, to determine who would take the wild card slot and face Katherine Harris — resulted in a decisive victory. We threw five worthy contenders into the ring: Corrine Brown (D-FL), the “bat shit crazy” rep from the mean streets of Jacksonville’s North Side; Barbara Cubin (R-WY), the ex-cheerleader known for her “wack paranoia” and penis-shaped cookies; Tom Tancredo (R-CO), the immigration-obsessed nutjob; Bernie Sanders (I-VT), everyone’s favorite Vermont socialist; and Jean Schmidt (R-OH), the firearms-carrying, flag-jumpsuit-wearing, coward-calling congresswoman better known as “Mean Jean.” The result? Jean Schmidt, in a landslide. “Mean Jean” received 60 percent of the vote — more votes than the other four competitors combined, and over three times as many as her nearest competitor, Tom Tancredo. Schmidt has scratched and clawed her way into the final round of Congressional Catfight. (For those of you who are curious, the full vote tally is available after the jump.) Check back later today, when we’ll open the polls in Congressional Catfight: Harris vs. Schmidt. We’re predicting a close and ugly battle between these two tough ladies of the House. Earlier: Congressional Catfight: The Nominees for the Wild Card Spot Read more on Congressional Catfight: Jean Schmidt Takes the Wild Card Spot…
 

Congressional Catfight: The Nominees for the Wild Card Spot

Last week, we solicited your nominations for a wild card contender, to take take on the winner of Congressional Catfight: Harris vs. Pelosi (polls closing soon; to vote, click here). You submitted lots of excellent nominations, by email and by comment, and we winnowed the field to five contenders. Here’s the poll: Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you’re viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser. You may already know which one of these folks you’d like to vote for. But if you’re undecided and in need of more information, excerpts from nomination squibs appear after the jump. Read more on Congressional Catfight: The Nominees for the Wild Card Spot…
 

We Knew Sanders Shouldn’t Have Replaced His CoS With Andew McCarthy

An ad running on Talking Points Memo: Either some ad copywriter didn’t quite understand the reference he was making here, or Al knows something the people of Vermont don’t. It does explain Representative Sanders’ sunglasses-and-baseball cap getup during the last couple roll call votes, as well as his hilarious waterskiing antics at the last Congressional retreat. And besides, if the Senate could pretend Thurmond was alive for 6 years, why can’t the House have a hilariously manipulated corpse on a couple committees? Read more on We Knew Sanders Shouldn’t Have Replaced His CoS With Andew McCarthy…
 

BREAKING! CYNTHIA MCKINNEY APOLOGIZES ON THE FLOOR OF THE HOUSE!

We were told a couple minutes ago to turn on C-SPAN because McKinney was finally breaking her week-long media silence to SPEAK PUBLICLY about the incident, but as soon as we turned it on, there was an old guy from New Jersey babbling about productivity growth… so, we’re assuming we didn’t miss too much, but it’s just more proof that you never know when C-SPAN’s gonna be awesome for a minute. Read more on BREAKING! CYNTHIA MCKINNEY APOLOGIZES ON THE FLOOR OF THE HOUSE!…
 

Gossip Roundup: White House Goes Organic

* Washington Whispers: George and Laura like their food to be organic. . . Ten Democrats are acting interested in ’08. . . Sens. Frist and Brownback test lines for ’08. . . Condoleezza Rice loves her job. . . Nixon‘s political strategy revealed. [USN&WR] * Rush & Molloy: Cindy Sheehan receives standing ovation from Ron Howard, Marisa Tomei, Sally Field, and others. [NYDN] * Names & Faces: Rep. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) is briefly hospitalized after collapsing from influenza. [WP] Read more on Gossip Roundup: White House Goes Organic…