THIS MAN WAS NOMINATED TO BE SECRETARY OF HOMELAND SECURITY: “A judge tossed former NYPD commissioner Bernard Kerik in jail for trying to taint the jury pool via the Internet Tuesday — days before the top cop’s corruption trial starts. Federal Judge Stephen Robinson approved a prosecution request to revoke Kerik’s bail after they discovered non-public documents placed on a Web site affiliated with Kerik’s defense.” Ron Paul Forums? [NYDN]

This gem of a photo comes from the Bernard Kerik Legal Defense Trust’s “About Bernard B. Kerik” site. The former NYC police commissioner and current indicted Giuliani BFF makes it clear: Give money to my defense or 9/11 will kill you with slow, painful death-by-staring.

About Bernard B. Kerik [The Bernard Kerik Legal Defense Trust]

Rudy Giuliani’s best friend, future Secretary of Defense Bernard Kerik, has led a colorful life of being a convicted criminal, New York mobster and sex creep. Bernie also almost got the best mafia job of all, thanks to Rudy: handing out gazillions of federal dollars to “the family” as Bush’s director of the cash-cow Homeland Security Department. And now, once again, Kerik’s going to be indicted — this time by the Feds. MORE »

Crooked thug Bernard Kerik was denied his chance to run Homeland Security like some mafia fiefdom, but that doesn’t mean his career is totally finished. Kerik’s going to Guyana, where he’ll be the local president’s tough guy. MORE »