POPE FEVER! Do you have the Pope Fever? Well next time wear a condom! Meanwhile learn about all the popes who were even worse than Joseph Ratzinger. [Brightest Young Things]

The New York Times is pretty much on a “Pope Roll” today, and here’s the latest hilarious proof that should be in your NYT newspaper, if you are old and subscribe to the paper version. Here’s not-so-beloved Pope Joseph “Benedict XVI” Ratzinger, speaking to an overflow crowd of many thousands of “Victims of Sexual Abuse” at Nationals Park here in Washington. MORE »

The leader of America’s religion, Christianity, finally arrived in America today! The president and his wife and their daughter, Jenna, rushed down to the airport to say howdy. The pope held Jenna’s hand and cackled, in German, “You’re very pretty, for a girl.” MORE »

America’s greatest living political columnist, Peggy Noonan, has a heartbreaking new essay in the Wall Street Journal. Poor Peggers loved the previous, cute pope so much — she even wrote a book about him! — and now she’s stuck with this creepy old German with hollow eyes and the kind of personality that was really only effective in the military, during World War II, in Germany. MORE »

The White House is throwing a big fancy special Pope dinner on Wednesday, complete with German Pope food and German birthday cake for “Benedict XVI,” who turns 81 years old that night. But vindictive old pope Joseph Ratzinger refuses to show up, even though he’ll be a few blocks away in Washington that very evening! MORE »

“Pope Benedict XVI will make his first visit to the United States as pontiff next year, and plans to visit the White House, ground zero and speak at the United Nations, the Vatican’s ambassador said Monday.” Still no word from ground zero officials about whether they’ll allow a state sponsor of terror to visit. [CNN]

But you didn’t need to change your lead photo on our account: MORE »

Nice job with photo selection, though; Pope Benedict looks great with that butterfly sleeve. MORE »