Congratulations to Michael Steele, who finally beat out that actual Confederate slaveowning plantation owner to become the first African-American President of the United States! Maybe we should celebrate with something fun, like a national WAR WITH IRAN, hmm? Well, even though we were *praying* for the old white guy — a member of a whites-only country club! — to come from behind and “steele” the black person’s victory at the last minute, we are “steele” satisfied with Michael “Steele.” Let’s “steele” away to our Wonkette Time Machine and revisit a hilarious chapter in state political history: Michael “Steele’s” brief and mostly unsuccessful political career in the important state of Maryland! MORE »

• Heard on the Hill: Rep. Mark Kirk (R-Ill.) staffer demands Tel Aviv University drop a supporter of his opponent from the board, threatens “revenge”… The sign from Jack Abramoff’s restaurant Signatures finally came down. [Roll Call]

• Reliable Source: Karl Rove profile in next Vanity Fair, written by his neighbor. What you’ll learn: Karl makes coffee in a French-press… Saturday is Laura Bush’s 60th birthday. [WP]
• Yeas and Nays: AFL-CIO show poor sign-displaying skills… Star Jones campaigns for Ben Cardin… Rep. Gene Taylor (D-Miss) lost his gorilla suit in Katrina. [Examiner]

A brief primer for those of you kind enough to email us tips. We love and desperately need you, so don’t take this the wrong way, but… the Maryland Senate race is boring. Comparatively, we mean. Ok. A Ben Cardin (Cardin’s… not the black guy, right?) had a staffer who wrote an anonymous blog that said questionable things about Oreo cookies, black people, and grope-y old Jews. And, you know, congrats to Wizbang, you cracked this one wide open (though we’re pretty sure we got the same email you guys did on September 14), you deserve all the credit… MORE »