ben bernanke
Elizabeth Warren Hands Ben Bernanke His Own Ass
Hi Lizzz! HIIIIIII! WE LOVE YOU!!!! Why? Well, in addition to the usual reasons, Ben Bernanke appeared in front of the Senate Banking Committee yesterday, and Elizabeth Warren basically asked him stuff like: Why is everything still so horrible, Ben? Why are you doing absolutely nothing to fix anything, Ben? Why are you just standing [...]
In Shocking Move, Banks Pocket Cash Meant For Homeowners
In a move that your Wonkette finds SHOCKING, just SHOCKING, major banks have decided not to lower home loan interest rates for customers, even though the federal funds rate is hovering at around zero and banks are making a killing on mortgages. JPMorgan Chase and Wells Fargo, the nation’s largest mortgage lenders, said Friday they [...]
Ben Bernanke’s Hip-Hop Barbecue Will Probably Not Create Jobs
How exciting, soon we will be in the midst of a third round of quantitative easing! Does this mean we should break out the Korbel and celebrate? No, it probably does not, because like most of our economic policies, it will mostly benefit Incorporated Americans and people with lots of investments and will punish Poors [...]
Your Labor Day Explainer Of Why None Of Us Have Jobs
On Friday, Ben Bernanke delivered a speech at Jackson Hole, in which he either said something that was very good news, or alternatively, said something very disappointing and you should get used to eating cat food and stealing WiFi. But which is it? Very good or very disappointing? And how screwed are we? So many [...]
Congress And Ben Bernanke On Who’s In Charge Of Economy: One Two Three Not It!
Whose PROBLEM is this, you might be wondering, as you try desperately to save for your children’s college education, pay off your own student loans, keep up with the mortgage payments on a house worth less than what you owe on it, hope that you do not get sick, and contemplate a retirement age of [...]
Republican Thugs Warn Ben Bernanke Not To Try To Fix Economy
Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke with his unenviable job of trying to save the crumbling American economy with interest rate tweaks is sort of like a firefighter standing before a Texas wildfire who gets to shoot at it with a water pistol while everyone yells at him about the size and type of his water pistol. [...]
Bernanke Fears Mean Politicians Will Make Him Do Stuff He Already Did
Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke flew to Japan this week for a tour of that nation’s various soiled-panties-dispensing vending machines, but he needed to do something “work-related” so he could deduct the tickets on his taxes, so he ended up stopping by a Tokyo conference on “the future of central banking” and gave a few [...]
Bank-Owned Senators Will Yell At Bank-Owned Bernanke Today
This morning’s theatrical populist pretend-fest is already underway in the Senate, where Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke is facing his first reconfirmation hearing before very very angry Republicans and Democrats, who have all sorts of “ideas” for the Fed in the future.
Michele Bachmann GRILLS Ben Bernanke About ACORN
Harried Money Emperor Ben Bernanke testified in Congress again today about upcoming financial regulation measures and apparently pleased the Socialists by saying that increased transparency won’t do the trick — you have to straight-up ban certain financial instruments, starting with, say, the ones where lenders throw trillions of dollars of credit at random hobos without [...]
Americans Who’ve Heard of ‘The Fed’ Don’t Like It, Because of … Communists?
Hey, a new survey about things people don’t know: Gallup asked some random selection of Americans who haven’t had their phones shut off to rate nine major federal agencies they may or may not have heard about, on the AM radio. The results are … bad news for, let’s see, Ben Bernanke? Sure!
Meanwhile, An Update From The Whatsitcalled… Economies!
Barack Obama ate a hamburger… Sarah Palin got a gun… torture, they’re still going on about that… Sean Hannity is insane… what else today? Oh right, the thing, the thing where goods and services are bought and sold and jobs and money and stuff! Ben Bernanke said optimistic things about it today, albeit with a [...]
A Children’s Treasury Of Wacky Depressing Clips From Today’s Geithner-Bernanke Hearing
Earlier we showed Barney Frank yelling at the goddamn Code Pink hippies on multiple occasions, but what else happened during this latest 94-hour grandstanding spectacle of a House Financial Services Committee hearing? Why the economy got saved, of course! Ha ha. (Kill us.) America’s C-SPAN watchers did, however, get to see such luminaries as Ron [...]
People Are So Mean To Poor Old Ben Bernanke
Keeping accord with weekly tradition, Wonkette channeled its insomnia at 4:30 a.m. this Monday morning to a week-old version of the New Yorker magazine, online, so as to scan for a “politics article.” There was a Ben Bernanke profile, which is EXACTLY what we asked our parents to get us for Christmas, at Best Buy. [...]
Bernanke Decides That Entire Economy Is Worth Saving
Money-printing liquidity trapper Ben Bernanke has been a Local Loser in recent months after rapidly cutting the federal funds rate to negative 1,000% to no effect whatsoever, except national embarrassment. He’s had to print Master Paulson’s money, alone, every night, as punishment. He is not allowed to shave. But as Paulson and his flack Neel [...]
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