Tag: ben bernanke

You're getting your poverty on us, Ben

Former Fed Chair Ben Bernanke Denied Refinanced Mortgage Like Common Poor

The next time you see Ben Bernanke and he's all like, "Bro, could you spot me five bucks, bro?" do NOT spot him five bucks, bro, because Bernanke ain't good for it. That's not our opinion, it's the opinion...

Summers Vs. Warren Banking Committee Cage Match Canceled As Larry Summers Craps Out

Unloved money brute Lawrence "Larry" Summers will not be your new Ben Bernanke after withdrawing his name from consideration for Federal Reserve Chairman on Sunday. Mainly this is because humans are hard-wired to distrust men named Larry, but there...

Michele Bachmann Is Either Crazy Stupid Or Stupid Crazy Or Both

We sure will miss Michele Bachmann, Empress of Crazytown, when she leaves the House of Representatives to more intimately torture the people of Minnesota on a daily basis. But until she leaves, she is determined to utter every nonsensical...

Elizabeth Warren Hands Ben Bernanke His Own Ass

Hi Lizzz! HIIIIIII! WE LOVE YOU!!!! Why? Well, in addition to the usual reasons, Ben Bernanke appeared in front of the Senate Banking Committee yesterday, and Elizabeth Warren basically asked him stuff like: Why is everything still so horrible,...

In Shocking Move, Banks Pocket Cash Meant For Homeowners

In a move that your Wonkette finds SHOCKING, just SHOCKING, major banks have decided not to lower home loan interest rates for customers, even though the federal funds rate is hovering at around zero and banks are making a...

Ben Bernanke’s Hip-Hop Barbecue Will Probably Not Create Jobs

How exciting, soon we will be in the midst of a third round of quantitative easing! Does this mean we should break out the Korbel and celebrate? No, it probably does not, because like most of our economic policies,...

Your Labor Day Explainer Of Why None Of Us Have Jobs

On Friday, Ben Bernanke delivered a speech at Jackson Hole, in which he either said something that was very good news, or alternatively, said something very disappointing and you should get used to eating cat food and stealing WiFi....

Congress And Ben Bernanke On Who’s In Charge Of Economy: One Two Three Not It!

Whose PROBLEM is this, you might be wondering, as you try desperately to save for your children’s college education, pay off your own student loans, keep up with the mortgage payments on a house worth less than what you...

Republican Thugs Warn Ben Bernanke Not To Try To Fix Economy

Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke with his unenviable job of trying to save the crumbling American economy with interest rate tweaks is sort of like a firefighter standing before a Texas wildfire who gets to shoot at it with a...

Bernanke Fears Mean Politicians Will Make Him Do Stuff He Already Did

Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke flew to Japan this week for a tour of that nation's various soiled-panties-dispensing vending machines, but he needed to do something "work-related" so he could deduct the tickets on his taxes, so he ended...

Bank-Owned Senators Will Yell At Bank-Owned Bernanke Today

This morning's theatrical populist pretend-fest is already underway in the Senate, where Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke is facing his first reconfirmation hearing before very very angry Republicans and Democrats, who have all sorts of "ideas" for the Fed in...

Michele Bachmann GRILLS Ben Bernanke About ACORN

Harried Money Emperor Ben Bernanke testified in Congress again today about upcoming financial regulation measures and apparently pleased the Socialists by saying that increased transparency won't do the trick -- you have to straight-up ban certain financial instruments, starting...

Americans Who’ve Heard of ‘The Fed’ Don’t Like It, Because of … Communists?

Hey, a new survey about things people don't know: Gallup asked some random selection of Americans who haven't had their phones shut off to rate nine major federal agencies they may or may not have heard about, on the...

Meanwhile, An Update From The Whatsitcalled… Economies!

Barack Obama ate a hamburger... Sarah Palin got a gun... torture, they're still going on about that... Sean Hannity is insane... what else today? Oh right, the thing, the thing where goods and services are bought and sold and...

A Children’s Treasury Of Wacky Depressing Clips From Today’s Geithner-Bernanke Hearing

Earlier we showed Barney Frank yelling at the goddamn Code Pink hippies on multiple occasions, but what else happened during this latest 94-hour grandstanding spectacle of a House Financial Services Committee hearing? Why the economy got saved, of course!...

Barney Frank Snaps At Code Pink Multiple Times During Important Money Hearing

Here's your "Tuesday Lunch Video," hooray! During today's House Financial Services Committee hearings with archvillains Ben Bernanke and Tim Geithner, Barney Frank interrupted each of them to admonish the daring Code Pink protesters in the room, who came with...