AND YOU THOUGHT WE WERE KIDDING ABOUT BELGIUM: No seriously they are a nation of treacherous villains, as evidenced by their “prison break problem.” Apparently dudes are constantly hijacking helicopters and using them to whisk criminals away from Belgian prisons, to the point where authorities have ordered “anti-helicopter wire netting” to put over prison yards. So the next time you get down on America, just remember that WE are not the people who have to put wire bonnets over our prisons to keep the criminals in. [GlobalPost]

If The Foreigns could elect America’s next president, they would probably vote for Hillary Clinton because she hearts NAFTA and has an acceptably white middle name. A smattering of anecdotes from Belgian grocers and Chinese business owners proves this devastating new fact! (Sorry Barack Hussein Obama, you can still be president of Kenya and Germany.) MORE »

Have you heard of Belgium? It’s apparently a little country somewhere in Europe. Belgium used to own Africa and invented chocolate and/or french fries and has problems with UFOs and pedophiles. You may have even unwittingly visited Belgium, if you’re a member of the European Union government or maybe traveled from England to “the continent” by boat in the days before the Chunnel train. To this day, some French people travel through Belgium by train on their way to get their heroin in Amsterdam. MORE »

Remember how excited everyone was when ol John Kerry finally got his revenge against the Swift Boat guys and verbally beat down Sam Fox, Bush’s nominee for ambassador to Belgium and Swift Boat supporter? MORE »

* The taste of DC water to change. [Read Express]
* Murder at 1714 Lyman Place, NE. [stop, blog and roll]
* New Belgian restaurant. “Dig the idea of camping out at the bar with a Belgian beer and platter of oysters? Thanks to free Wi-Fi, you may even be able to get some work done while knocking back a few Duvels.” [metrocurean]
* Tranquil Space owner Kimberly Wilson has a new book and is getting kind of famous. She makes an iPod playlist, including Eminem, for the Happy Booker today. [The Happy Booker]
* “It doesn’t cost extra money to pop the collar! Watch this. I just popped my collar. And now I’m unpopping it. I DID NOT HAVE TO PAY A COLLAR TAX!” [why.i.hate.dc]