Tag Archives: beheadings

  We Completely Left Out Odin Again

2014: The Year In God-Bothering

If it's one thing I can't stand, it's people groveling.
God had another big year in 2014, especially right near the end, when His Servant on Earth, Bill O’Reilly, finally declared victory in the War on Christmas. So we can look forward to a 2015 that’s free of that particular topic, we bet. Even so, it would appear that there are still a few areas of American life where religion has caused a wee bit of a ruckus. Like, let’s say, the courts, where the Supremes declared that the Hobby Lobby corporation’s sincerely held religious beliefs can exempt them from following laws they don’t like. Not that there’s going to be any weird fallout from that decision, like people suing for the right to ignore child labor laws because God says it’s OK. Read more on 2014: The Year In God-Bothering…
  hot pants

PolitiFact Tackles Hot-Button Issue Of Obamacare Beheadings

It would be so exciting to live in a country where “Obamacare Medical Codes Confirm: Execution by Beheading To Be Implemented in America”, but PolitiFact says no, we cannot live there because there is a fire on its pants. Why is PolitiFact so mean to our childlike sense of wonder and our precious need to feel threatened, which helps us pretend we’re important? All this rage isn’t going to misdirect itself, darn it! Read more on PolitiFact Tackles Hot-Button Issue Of Obamacare Beheadings…
  evildoers

Chuck Hagel Loves Terrorism Like Al Jazeera Loves Beheading People

Rick Santorum has some thoughts you guys, and apparently they are so important he cannot even save them for his “exclusive” gig at WND, columnizing alongside folks who think the Supreme Court Chief Justice should be impeached for swearing in whats-his-name, the black guy. Here are Rick Santorum’s babies of his brain: Obama’s nominee for Secretary of Defense, former Republican senator Chuck Hagel, loves terrorism. He wants to marry terrorism, and make little satan-butt-babies with terrorism, and they will name their satan-butt-baby “Joe.” Read more on Chuck Hagel Loves Terrorism Like Al Jazeera Loves Beheading People…
  our demon lover

Ted Nugent: ‘Ride Into That Battlefield,’ Behead The Democrats This Fall

We have found the one musician who would not be enraged to find one of his songs used without permission at a conservative orgy somewhere in America: he is of course Ted Nugent, who attended the NRA’s annual ball gala cotillion this past weekend to sing “songs,” show his support of fast-acting weaponry, and tell America that they should vote for Romney this fall and also as a consequence behead the Democrats. In an America-themed blouson and trusty camo cowboy hat, Nugent proclaimed Obama’s camp to be a “vile, evil America-hating administration” that is “wiping its ass with the Constitution.” Read more on Ted Nugent: ‘Ride Into That Battlefield,’ Behead The Democrats This Fall…
  the bad beginning

A Series of Unfortunate Events Awaits Wall Street Executives

Beloved children’s author Lemony Snicket has visited the Occupy Wall Street protest and wrote up a list of observations that will hopefully chill those within the executive suites looking down upon Zuccotti Park. Here are three of those observations: Read more on A Series of Unfortunate Events Awaits Wall Street Executives…
  mexicans are still violent monsters though!

Jan Brewer Admits Most Desert Corpses Have Heads, Are In ‘Mint Condition’

One of Jan Brewer’s favorite hobbies is searching for all the human heads that are geocached in the desert. (Sometimes these heads are not even “cached,” and can be seen rolling around like tumbleweeds.) This is why Jan Brewer got PTSD when reporters hounded her about “desert beheadings” during her first and ONLY debate — can’t we just trust Jan Brewer and move on? All the human heads Jan Brewer finds in the desert are still attached to their respective bodies, okay? Are you happy now, jerks? Read more on Jan Brewer Admits Most Desert Corpses Have Heads, Are In ‘Mint Condition’…
  where on the doll did the debate touch you?

Traumatized Jan Brewer Not Going To Debate Anyone EVER AGAIN

Jan Brewer does not understand this whole debate thing and the idea that you have to make “opening statements” and have “accomplishments” to talk about in them, and thus she has decided she won’t do one ever again, SO THERE. “She said the only reason she debated him on Wednesday is she had to to qualify for more than $1.7 million in public funds for her campaign.” Change the rules, Arizona! America loves to cringe at this woman! Read more on Traumatized Jan Brewer Not Going To Debate Anyone EVER AGAIN…