Every store, bar and restaurant on Clarendon Boulevard reflects the fact that the Arlington is a total a bro town, except for one: Galaxy Hut. MORE »

We have received another sexy stimulus party report, this time from elitist operative “Eric.” He tells us that he drank imported beer, because he doesn’t like Bud Light (take that, Cindy McCain), that his girlfriend is kind of a pain in the ass, and that he has a job for now. In other words, we have no idea whether he went to a stimulus party or not; we get a lot of e-mails from drunk lunatics for no reason after all. MORE »

Here’s Barack Obama today, in whatever random Midwest hamlet of Poors he picked for promoting his stimulus package, responding to something Sean Hannity apparently DEMANDED on his teevee show: that the two of them go get a beer. Because if Obama really wants to reach his hand across the aisle, that requires him taking taking some fathead wingnut teevee slob (who murdered Alan Colmes — where else would he be??) out for a beer. Obama likes to respond to these demagogues, for some reason, and pretend-accepts Hannity’s invitation. But maybe this is just Obama going undercover to locate the secret “black site” sex dungeon in which Hannity keeps Colmes?

The Raven Grill is not a grill. It doesn’t even serve food. It’s just a trashy old dive bar with the most splendid beer prices ever ($2.50 Miller High Lifes and $3 Sierras) and a decent selection of drinks. MORE »

As you all have read various times on this blog, Wonkette, we hosted an Inaugural Ball Friday to commemorate the first president, Barack Obama. Hundreds of people showed up just in time for the bathroom to break completely. Liz Glover even showed up to her party, eventually! No one was killed, but hey, we can’t have ALL the excitement. Now let’s check out some sexytime photos for you losers who didn’t fly in for this one night or were too cold to leave your houses. MORE »

• This little shark in Virginia was immaculately conceived! How long until Baby Shark Jesus replaces Sarah Palin on the GOP ticket, to Appeal To The Base? [WTOP]
• Some geniuses are trying to encourage you to drink responsibly, by making you buy six beers when you only want one. [DCist]
• Hillary Clinton’s new email pyramid scheme is called the “Hotliner.” It’s based out of the Watergate and sounds like it involves sexy eyeliner. [Fishbowl DC]
• Local states Maryland and Virginia rank 10th and 11th, respectively, on Business Week’s list of most terribly mismanaged state budgets. [DC Examiner]
• A certain formed DC Councilman/Pynchon character named “Harold Brazil” was arrested for assaulting someone who worked at a tattoo parlor. [Washington Post]

Back in May, the Denver Host Committee announced that the Molson Coors Company would be the “Official E85 Ethanol Producer” for the Democratic convention. Joe Coors must be going ballistic, in Hell. The liberal ethanol in Colorado is made from “waste beer” — you can make “clean-burning ethanol fuel for the fleet of General Motors flex-fuel vehicles to be used for Convention transportation needs” with this “waste beer.” Imagine what the “waste beer” — the stuff that doesn’t meet standards — must taste like at the COORS LIGHT factory. The point is, this rancid beer gas, according to an early Denver operative, is making the cars kill everybody. MORE »

This is the debut advertisement for a new initiative called DrugDealerCindy.com, launched by a bunch of marijuana cigarette addicts at the group S.A.F.E.R., “Safer Alternative For Enjoyable Recreation.” Ha ha, the first word in your title is also the acronym itself. MORE »

Here is some proof that America’s lobbyists remain some of the world’s sturdiest boozers: employees of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce recently ran up an $8,204 bar tab in a single wild evening celebrating the end of their softball tournament at The Exchange. And then they acted like a bunch of cheap whining assholes, complaining that the bill included an 18 percent tip. So what were these drunk idiots ordering, Nebuchadnezzars of champagne from Thomas Jefferson’s secret stash? Alas no, because Ted Kennedy already drank it all. MORE »

Presidential trophy wife Cindy McCain, who already has 20 or 30 million bucks, is going to get another million — from the sale of an American corporation! Cindy’s fortune comes from her inherited beer distribution business, of which Anheuser-Busch is a major client. Now that Anheuser-Busch is being sold to hippie Belgian giant InBev NV, Cindy will most likely pull in $1 million from the buyout and be able to keep her business connection. This should fund at least 20 of her famous Pills ‘n’ Pools parties (for journalists) in Sedona. [WSJ]

Thanks to two brave Democratic state legislators, patrons of your friendly neighborhood Rustico restaurant in Alexandria, VA can now eat their brew pops in peace. What’s a brew pop, you ask? Only the most brilliant frozen food item ever invented, because it is made of beer. MORE »