Some very nice fellows seemed to think that D.C. was at a loss because it didn’t have a beer palace, so they opened two beer-topias in one, Birch & Barley and ChurchKey. The result? 555 beers, which breaks down to 500 bottles of beer, 50 beers on tap, and 5 cask-conditioned beers. MORE »

• Heavens to Betsy! Illegal immigrants are trying to steal Lou Dobbs’s job! [True/Slant: Marcelo Ballve]
• HE DID IT. He did it. Matt finished Infinite Jest, the novel. He read all of it. And he did not care for it. [Matt Yglesias]
• Barack Obama will create a special death panel for your beer. [TPM]
• Web 2.0 is here! And Jesus Christ, it sounds hella boring. [The Caucus]
• Arlen Specter is a rotten traitor! Where to begin? Okay, first of all: he switched sides with Benedict Arnold during the Revolutionary War. And then he helped the Russians build Sputnik. And then he attacked the USS Cole. And then he defected to the Democrats. Enough is enough. Boo Arlen! Yay Toomey! [RedState]

Thursday, August 20: Womenfolk don’t like baseball, so to lure them to a game, the Nats are hosting a women-friendly pre-game tomorrow night. Recognizing that ladies may be frightened by this unnatural habitat, the Nats are offering things only women love: massages and manicures. And because all women love to shop, jewelry, handbags, cosmetics and more will be offered for sale, to women. Will women stay for game? Or will they be overwhelmed by their perfect nails and new handbags and leave before the, uh, “kickoff”?
MORE »

What is this? It’s the tragic result of 5,000 White House photographers with old-fashioned “click-y cameras” taking 5,000,000 pictures of the president and vice president (both in shirtsleeves) and the stars of the new Cambridge reality teevee show, No Motherfucker You Cannot Arrest Me In My Fucking House I Am a Harvard Professor …. Oh So Just Step Outside For a Moment? MORE »

Everybody thought it was so awesome when President Obama invited over the hostile white cop and the indignant black professor for domestic beers at his house, but did you know he is not even letting these people inside? “‘[W]eather permitting, the three men will meet at a picnic table outside the Oval Office,” reports the Boston Globe. Then, in a moment of tragic irony, the president will excuse himself for a potty break, realize he’s locked himself out of his house, decide to just whizz in the bushes instead, and all three men will be executed by the Secret Service, the end. [Political Intelligence]

After eight years of that alky teetotaler George W. Bush, it’s always a delight to see that your president is man enough to have a beer without turning into some raging drunken elder-abusing asshole. Here is Barack Obama just cold slurpin’ a cold one with his powerful baseball-fan friends. On the left, let’s see, that’s probably Bill Gates. Hi Bill! And on the right … hmm, maybe Madonna? Let’s say Madonna. [White House Flickr]

Wednesday, May 20: There’s no shame if the only charitable contribution you ever make to the District of Columbia is via eating at fundraisers. If a full stomach is your way of saying, “Thanks DC for heightening my chance of getting AIDS and for granting me the opportunity to almost be murdered on multiple occasions,” we highly recommend heading to the Verizon Center today for “Taste of Eleven,” a fundraiser put on by Wizards Care that raises money for the Capital Area Food Bank. MORE »

So this news channel embedded deep in Bitters country — West Virginia, Ohio, and Kentucky — runs the occasional poll asking such probing questions as “Do you plan to buy mulch from the city of Charleston?” Here is a new favorite. [WSAZ Polls]

Wednesday, March 25: Ladies, perhaps this will give your man some incentive to go to the ballet with you: the Washington Ballet Studios is throwing a “Beer and Ballet” event tonight. Watch the Jete Society’s performance of Peter Pan, drink beer and eat peanuts. Classy. $35, 6:30PM. [Washington Post] MORE »

Wednesday, March 4:Brickskeller is holding its annual Strong Ale Tasting, where you can sample the finest work of brew makers from California to Delaware. $35 at the Brickskeller. [Love the Beer] MORE »

If you are desperate and have no friends — or, conversely, if you have a lot of friends and you want to round them all up on a weekly basis — sign up with the DC Kickball league. The organization sets up teams to compete against each other once a week in various locations and occasionally throws parties and happy hours. MORE »