Here’s some Hot International Gossip that’s just weird enough to be true, because it’s about Christopher Hitchens drinking while on assignment in some Foreign Land, so it’s already 100% credible: The beloved Washington journalist was supposedly out for a night of boozing in Beirut when he chanced upon a political propaganda poster from the not-so-beloved Syrian Social Nationalist Party, the right-wing turned left-wing turned pain-in-the-ass Syrians always fucking around with Lebanon. Obviously, Hitchens needed to deface this poster, while some SSNP thugs were watching from across the street. MORE »

So here’s a terrible thing to happen one week before one’s re-election bid: a CANING caught on video! This choppy video is produced by a staffer for Judy Feder, the Democrat challenging Republican Rep. Frank Wolf in Virginia. The staffer is an annoying twit who gets in the face of Wolf and his little lady in some coffee shop or other. Then there’s a THWAP, and the staffer cries like a baby, and then another THWAP outside. As everyone knows, “THWAP” is the sound you hear when an 83-year-old campaign spokesperson strikes a young liberal whippersnapper with his cane. Until now, this sound had not been heard since the mid-19th century. [Washington Post, Raising Kaine]