Tag Archives: bathrooms

  Here have some Nice Time

MI Gym Tells Lady Bellyaching About Trans People In Locker Room To Shove It

Behind door number three is this bitch named Yvette, who isn't allowed at this gym anymore.
How about a story with a happy ending? (Not that kind, you perverts!) Up in Midland, Michigan, there is an outpost of Planet Fitness, which happens to have moved into yr Wonkette’s own neighborhood recently. We have heard, from people, that it’s a place where everybody is welcome, and that it’s not full of meatheads. So, at the Midland location, a woman named Yvette Cormier was just shocked and awed and probably had all her religious freedom stolen, because there is a trans woman who goes to the same gym, and wouldn’t you know, the gym actually lets her use the locker room that corresponds with her gender identity! This was, of course, an outrage, so Ms. Cormier, like some icky people are wont to do, complained and complained, until the gym addressed her concerns by saying, “the trans woman can stay, and you get to leave, you suck, bye,” canceling her membership the way Jesus would’ve: Read more on MI Gym Tells Lady Bellyaching About Trans People In Locker Room To Shove It…
  Homo-nazis will have to destroy North Carolina later too busy trying to find a place to pee

Performance Artist Flip Benham Solves Transgender Bathrooms Problem By Yelling ‘Pervert!’ At It

Last night, the Southern town of Charlotte, North Carolina, did a real big stupid, failing to pass an anti-discrimination ordinance that would add LGBT people to the list of protected groups. Wingnut opponents of the ordinance, of course, were most worried about the possibility that somewhere, somehow, a transgender person might be out there responding to the call of nature, and not even ashamed of themselves for it. This is an outrage, because how dare they, despite what you have heard in children’s books, NOT EVERYBODY POOPS, especially not transgender people! Read more on Performance Artist Flip Benham Solves Transgender Bathrooms Problem By Yelling ‘Pervert!’ At It…
  Stop dick-checking everybody in the bathroom TUCKER

Hey, Remember When Tucker Carlson Beat Up That Gay Dude In The Bathroom?

This piece has been UPDATED, because this is a post about Tucker Carlson being creepy about transgender people in bathrooms, and we are smacking ourselves on the face and on the bottom, because we forgot to talk about that in the context of the time Tucker panicked and beat up a gay in the bathroom at Georgetown, we are A Idiot and We Are Fired! More on that icky story in a moment. Read more on Hey, Remember When Tucker Carlson Beat Up That Gay Dude In The Bathroom?…
  Rage Against The Latrine

Hero Texas Lady Wants To Look Into Your Genes Before You Use The Toilet

It's easy to forget that people actually dress like this, unironically
Let’s hear it for Texas state Rep. Debbie Riddle, who has filed an exciting new bill to make sure that people only go to the toilets that God intended them to. Her genius legislation would make it a Class A misdemeanor for transgendered people to use public restrooms, showers, or locker rooms of their preference — even if they’ve had gender reassignment surgery. Read more on Hero Texas Lady Wants To Look Into Your Genes Before You Use The Toilet…
  Is that REALLY a vagina in your pants?

Hey ‘Ladies,’ Michelle Duggar Needs To Check Your ‘Lady’ Parts Before You Use The Restroom

So gross
Our sweet little sister site Happy Nice Time People, what is watching 19 Clowns in a Uterus so we don’t have to, has a very important public service announcement from perpetually pregnant Michelle Duggar: Read more on Hey ‘Ladies,’ Michelle Duggar Needs To Check Your ‘Lady’ Parts Before You Use The Restroom…
  all the derp that's fit to herp

Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Compendium of Cads, Creeps, and Crazies

Welcome to another edition of Derp Roundup, that weekly big ball of wadded-up idiocy from our inbox that was too stoopid to ignore altogether, but that didn’t quite merit a full-length Wonket post. Up first, a quick visit to that land of fiscal restraint, North Carolina, where Gov. Pat McCrory presided over a 2013 legislative session that raised taxes on the poor and cut them on the rich, resulting in a projected $2 billion cut in state revenues over the next five years. The revenue loss will require huge cuts for social programs and public schools — after all, what can go wrong when you slash school budgets, anyway? — but times are hard, and you gotta be careful not to waste the taxpayers’ money. Which is why it only makes sense that Gov. McCrory is going to spend $230,000 on “remodeling bathrooms in his private living quarters at North Carolina’s Executive Mansion.” Sound like they’ll be really nice once the work is done: Planned upgrades include new marble, tubs and fixtures for six bathrooms on the upper floors of the Victorian-era home in Raleigh. We aren’t sure we can be too angry about this, though, since the last time the bathrooms in the Governor’s Mansion were refurbished was in the 1970’s. Gov. McCrory shouldn’t have to deal with all those fixtures in Avocado and Harvest Gold. Besides, there’s probably some extra costs involved in making sure the bathrooms aren’t compliant with Sharia law. You can’t be too careful about these things. Read more on Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Compendium of Cads, Creeps, and Crazies…
  walnuts is gonna lose it

The Latest End of America: No Urinals On Navy’s New Gender-Neutral Carriers

The Navy has a new class of aircraft carriers coming out! The new versions still have runways for planes and still float on the sea and are still big old boats. Beyond that, however, these new ones are decidedly liberal aircraft carriers. For the first time, the bathrooms won’t feature urinals. Women have served on combat ships since 1994 and, well, maybe at this point it would be easier to put in toilets that everyone can use in the new fleet’s bathrooms, the deciders decided. Just aim a few degrees lower, boys, then hit flush, and it’s not so bad. Just kidding, it’s officially the end of America again. Read more on The Latest End of America: No Urinals On Navy’s New Gender-Neutral Carriers…
  now ben smith will debunk this

The Sarah Palin Internet Is Abuzz With Bristol’s Teevee Show Stuff

Oh, look, there is Bristol Palin in her square-dancin’ costume. Team Sarah is so happy for her! “Methinks she’s brushing up on her dancing skills in preparation for an Inaugural Ball,” says “Sharron,” who is some sort of medieval witch. Meanwhile, Mercede Johnston FINALLY addresses this major Dancing with the Stars thing, and it’s basically the best and most journalistic blog post ever. Read more on The Sarah Palin Internet Is Abuzz With Bristol’s Teevee Show Stuff…
 

Ann Coulter Signs Books While Lady-Pooping?

Ann Coulter held a book-signing at South Carolina’s Furman University last night, and the University placed her signing desk in the toilet. Word around campus is that Coulter was on her period or something and out of diapers. [Palmetto Scoop] Read more on Ann Coulter Signs Books While Lady-Pooping?…
 

Capitol Police Officer Suspended in Possible Link to Fires

Roll Call has confirmed through anonymous sources that U.S. Capitol Police Officer Karen Emory has been suspended from duty, although it’s unclear whether the measure is related to recent bathroom fires in congressional office buildings. A Capitol Police spokeswoman declined comment on the issue, saying “We don’t discuss personnel matters.” Emory was the reporting officer on at least one of the fires, so clearly she… umm… started all of them and wants to burn down America, office bathroom by office bathroom. [Roll Call] Read more on Capitol Police Officer Suspended in Possible Link to Fires…
 

Yes yes they’re replacing all the stall walls in the Larry Craig Memorial Bathroom. The new dividers will fall to just 3 inches above the floor. Also the floors will be carpeted to prevent effective foot-tapping and the seats themselves will be enclosed in even smaller walls to ensure that all patrons use an airport-approved “narrow stance” while sitting. [AP] Read more on …
 

“It’s become a tourist attraction,” Evans said with a smile. “People are taking pictures.” [Pioneer Press]
 

Wonkette Commenter Proposes Unorthodox Larry Craig Theory

And because nothing about Larry Craig’s bizarre plan to un-resign from the Senate makes any fucking sense, we’re going to elevate commenter Outstando to the front page — because if he’s right, this may be a coded (or uncoded) message to other time travelers who may be able to help Soldier From The Future “Larry Craig” save America from a 40-year Robot Mary Cheney Regime that ends with Idaho under two miles of (poison) water. Think about it. Read more on Wonkette Commenter Proposes Unorthodox Larry Craig Theory…
 

Everybody Is Freaking Out About Guys Getting Off In Restrooms

Are you having public-restroom closet-case gay-sex hysteria? Are you suddenly horrified by grown men getting impossibly weird kicks behind every bathroom door? Welcome to America’s Newest Freakout. Forget about wiretapping and Iraq and creeping fascism and all that, because what the United States really needs right now is a good old-fashioned nationwide scare over the public toilets. Even people working on Capitol Hill aren’t immune to the Endless Cummer panic, and most everybody on the Hill is either gay or a closet case! Read more on Everybody Is Freaking Out About Guys Getting Off In Restrooms…
 

Tucker Carlson: Another Tragic Victim of Sexual Assault

When Tucker Carlson and his buddy beat up that old queer dude in the bathroom, it was … uh … well Tucker was … a victim, that’s right! So stop calling him a gay-bashing hooligan who should’ve gone to jail for a hundred years, you damned libtards. Jeez. Can’t a couple of high-school punks beat up an old homo now and then? Anyway, the libtard outrage caused by, uh, Tucker Carlson bragging about smashing some guy’s skull in a public bathroom has forced Tucker to bravely release a statement. Read more on Tucker Carlson: Another Tragic Victim of Sexual Assault…
 

Republican Interns Are Already Bored At Work

Hook up on the hill – m4m – 22 Date: 2007-06-26, 1:38PM EDT Anyone want to get together today? I want to mess around in the bathroom of one of the SOBs. I am 22 and and about 6.5 uncut. Please be in good shape and around my age. Read more on Republican Interns Are Already Bored At Work…
 

DC’s Rock & Roll Hotel Competely Haunted by Dead People

The horrible noises heard after hours at the newish Rock and Roll Hotel — which is a bar with live music, not a hotel — are not just rats or people having sex or other people being mugged outside. According to The Hill, the club is actually haunted by actual ghost demons who literally scare the crap out of employees. Read more on DC’s Rock & Roll Hotel Competely Haunted by Dead People…
 

Longworth Evacuated As Dudes Get Off In Bathrooms

So the Longworth building was evacuated but it’s all better now and everybody’s back pretending to work. Some sort of alarm went off and everybody freaked out. Thanks, Capitol Police! Now we’re wondering if today’s incident is related to this Craigslist post: Read more on Longworth Evacuated As Dudes Get Off In Bathrooms…
 

Madame Chao: Okay, Now We’ll Call Her A Dragon Lady

Yesterday we did a little blogging about Labor Secretary Elaine Chao — a.k.a. Mrs. Mitch McConnell (address her that way, she loves it). We asked you for a little scuttlebutt about Secretary Chao. And then the floodgates opened. After the jump, your catty comments and unverified gossip about our beloved Secretary of Labor. Read more on Madame Chao: Okay, Now We’ll Call Her A Dragon Lady…
 

Media Bathrooms: CBS Beats ABC When You’re Feeling Not So Fresh

Continuing our comprehensive coverage of media bathroom issues (and following hot on the heels of ABC’s other restroom woes), we received an exclusive report from our anonymous feminine products correspondent alerting us to a confusing disparity between some of the major networks bathroom policies. Read more on Media Bathrooms: CBS Beats ABC When You’re Feeling Not So Fresh…