Tag Archives: basil marceaux

  the way we were

Hey, Remember When Jack Stuef Almost Broke Your Wonkette? Good Times. By Jack Stuef

This website still exists. It’s a political weblog, known for “rounding up” the day’s Internet news pages and offering unique “online-only” points-of-view on the Beltway’s goings-on. Someone should have taken a photo of it and placed it within the text of “Chapter 12: Surfing Out Into the World Wide Web” in the American history file of a child’s Google-branded textbook viewing glasses. And yet it is still being updated, here, in 2014! And thriving! And doing interesting things! It is a strange phenomenon for many reasons, not the least of which is that I sort of almost destroyed it a few years ago, when I regarded a person as he should not be regarded. Rereading today some of the Facebook messages I received around that time was not a pleasant experience. A bunch of people, for a period of about 72 hours or so in 2011, knew me to be a terrible human being, and had some pretty damning evidence in support of this view. Some of them even wished me to be dead! I am not dead at this time. Read more on Hey, Remember When Jack Stuef Almost Broke Your Wonkette? Good Times. By Jack Stuef…
  you never go full timecube

Hey, St. Paul Mayor Chris Coleman, Seems Everything Is Funny To You

While the mayoral election in Minneapolis has attracted a bit more attention for its wide variety of oddballs (especially lake-coffee man Jeff Wagner), St. Paul has its own stable of “characters” too. So here is St. Paul Mayor Chris Coleman — the incumbent, which is something that Minneapolis does not have in its election — having a very hard time suppressing the giggles at a mayoral candidate forum Thursday, mostly in response to “perennial candidate” Sharon Anderson, who is kind of like the Basil Marceaux of St. Paul. We won’t say too much about her, because the poor dear seems to have gone Full TimeCube, if her campaign blog is any indication. Still, we’re happy that she’s not a very big fan of that Cily Myrus and her wrecking ball. Read more on Hey, St. Paul Mayor Chris Coleman, Seems Everything Is Funny To You…
  aristotle is laughing

Utah To Pass ‘Basil Marceaux’s Law’

Never mind that textbooks already teach that this country is a republic: A bill that would ensure Utah students learn the U.S. is a compound constitutional republic — not a democracy — has passed both Houses of the Legislature and is now headed to the governor for his signature. […] Read more on Utah To Pass ‘Basil Marceaux’s Law’…
  more man than us

The Year In Lovable Crazy Longshot Midterm Candidates

This year, we saw some stellar legitimate candidates for Congress who were crazy and won their party’s nomination, such as Sharron Angle and Christine O’Donnell. But there were also some other, more mentally unstable longshot candidates. These candidates brought interesting new personalities and ideas to the fore, such as the notion of traffic-stop slavery, that had been grossly ignored by the media. They may not have had political connections, jobs, or any campaign organization to speak of. But their faith in the democratic process and the marketplace of ideas gave us hope. And funny YouTube videos. Read more on The Year In Lovable Crazy Longshot Midterm Candidates…
  the oracle of tennessee

Basil Marceaux’s Midterm Predictions

When you’re looking for a solid prediction of today’s results, to whom do you really want to turn? Nate Silver? Mark Halperin? The Cook Political Report? No. You turn to this campaign season’s best candidate, Basil Marceaux. Marceaux told us the Republicans will win three seats, which is enough to control the House. (To be fair, before he said this he was discussing about the FEC, which he says controls the whole system, making our country a democracy, even though the Pledge of Allegiance says it’s a republic.) After the jump, Basil makes his prediction in the Nevada Senate race. Read more on Basil Marceaux’s Midterm Predictions…
  oh no we can't stand to see him lose another one

Poll Data On All Top 2012 Presidential Candidates Collected, Including Presumptive GOP Nominee Basil Marceaux

Public Policy Polling has released some important figures: polling on all major potential 2012 patriot presidential candidates and how they all stack up against MaoBama. Let’s see, we’ve got Sarah Palin, Mike Huckabee, Newt Gingrich, Ron Paul, Mitt Romney, and Chris Christie. Oh, and Basil Marceaux. Yep, that’s probably what the field will look like. (Haha, Tim and Bobby!) We won’t make you hit the jump to see the results of the Marceaux-Obama match-up, because that dream showdown is the most likely to occur. It turns out Basil would currently only receive 21% of the vote against Obama. So just give Obama his second term, because that’s a substantial lead. Hooray, socialism lives! Oh no, traffic-stop slavery continues. Read more on Poll Data On All Top 2012 Presidential Candidates Collected, Including Presumptive GOP Nominee Basil Marceaux…
  wonkette's weekly review of the week that was

Remembering Our Fallen Week: Reading the Bones

The culture industry absorbed the potentially-mentally-ill candidate Basil Marceaux into its oily cogs. Now that Basil is just another big wig, who will stand up against America’s #1 enemy, gold-fringed flags? Read more on Remembering Our Fallen Week: Reading the Bones…
  it's morning in america

Oh Basil, You Were Too Good For This World

Traffic stops will continue unabated in the not-so-great state of Tennessee, as Basil Marceaux incomprehensibly goes down in defeat in his race for the GOP gubernatorial nomination! The only consolation is that secessionist Zach Wamp and Lt. Gov. Ron “Islam is a cult” Ramsey lost as well. The winner was Knoxville Mayor Bill Haslam, who is described as a “centrist” but this is Tennessee so honestly he is probably also awful. In exciting House primaries, one of Sarah Palin’s candidates lost, as did one of the Club for Growth’s candidates, and the Jewish guy backed by the Congressional Black Caucus beat the black guy in Memphis. Read more on Oh Basil, You Were Too Good For This World… Read more on Oh Basil, You Were Too Good For This World…
  he is wisdom to the mighty he is succor to the brave

Basil Marceaux’s Exploiters Staged a Debate, and It Made Lincoln-Douglas Look Like a Conversation Between Two Retarded Baby Pandas

THERE HAVE BEEN GREAT MOMENTS IN THE HISTORY OF AMERICAN RHETORIC. Yet there has been only one occasion of pure, unadulterated genius. That’s what happened last night: a debate staged between the Internet’s favorite Tennessee gubernatorial candidate, Basil Marceaux, and two other crazies. Read more on Basil Marceaux’s Exploiters Staged a Debate, and It Made Lincoln-Douglas Look Like a Conversation Between Two Retarded Baby Pandas…
  fake and gay

Is Basil Marceaux’s Campaign a Fraud? (UPDATED)

Don’t get us wrong, this video is an absolute delight. But it’s obvious that at least one professional has joined Basil’s campaign staff. It’s disconcerting. The music is perfect. But it’s too perfect. And so are the cuts. And so is the text that comes up on the screen. Look at what Basil’s YouTube account used to be. Somebody is actively using Basil to make fun of him. We called Basil, and it turns out the videos were made by a mysterious “campaign manager” who has signed on with the Basil team. What’s going on? Read more on Is Basil Marceaux’s Campaign a Fraud? (UPDATED)…
  why did you have to leave us pagels?

The Basil Marceaux Has Become SELF-AWARE, Is No Longer That Fun

Since we introduced you to your 2010 election boyfriend, Basil Marceaux, the man and his opposition to traffic-stop slavery have achieved virulence here on the Internets. Basil’s infamous local news broadcast introduction to voters has shown up and been laughed about on teevee shows as well. But the problem is that, despite his seeming avoidance of sanity and spelling and grammar norms, Basil is aware that he is now Internet-famous and is now looking to capitalize on it. Basil needs to put on a brave face and go back to being 100% crazy, because right now he may be JUMPING THE SHARK. Read more on The Basil Marceaux Has Become SELF-AWARE, Is No Longer That Fun…
  wamp wamp

One of Basil Marceaux’s Leading Opponents, Zach Wamp, Would Like To Secede Maybe

Congressman Zach Wamp is locked in a three-way battle for the Republican nomination for Tennessee governor (though it will ultimately go to a fourth candidate, Basil Marceaux), and so to give himself an edge he has resorted to the best talking point ever (after traffic-stop slavery emancipation), hinting that he maybe would like to secede from the Union. “I hope that the American people will go to the ballot box in 2010 and 2012 so that states are not forced to consider separation from this government,” he said. It would be such a pain in the neck to go through that whole secession thing again! ANNOYYYYYYYYYYING. Just vote, you lazy bums. Read more on One of Basil Marceaux’s Leading Opponents, Zach Wamp, Would Like To Secede Maybe…
  swooooooooosh swoosh swoosh

‘Crazy Man James’ Is Heating Up Basil Marceaux’s Gubernatorial Race

Tips have been streaming in today to find “America’s Next Top Basil Marceaux,” and it appears the most worthy contestant just happens to be running against Basil Marceaux himself. “Crazy Man” James Reesor, as he calls himself, is an independent candidate for governor of Tennessee. And he actually has pretty good grammar and is sort of coherent! Look, he actually goes out and campaigns! So who is James Reesor? His Web presence is a rabbit hole of flashing GIFs and swooshing noises, but we’ll try to get to the bottom of it. Read more on ‘Crazy Man James’ Is Heating Up Basil Marceaux’s Gubernatorial Race…
  the oracle of tennessee

Basil Marceaux Is Your New, Even Better Ernest J. Pagels, Jr.

When our friend Ernest J. Pagels, Jr., dropped out of his race for Senate earlier this week, we didn’t know if we could ever love again. But you know what? The universe works in mysterious ways. It started with a simple e-mail subject line in our tips inbox: “It’s okay to laugh at the mentally impaired if they’re running for a public office, right?” Wonketters, you have a new 2010 election boyfriend. His name is Basil Marceaux, and he’s a Republican candidate for governor of Tennessee. Read more on Basil Marceaux Is Your New, Even Better Ernest J. Pagels, Jr….