Tag: baseball

What Disgusting ‘Food’ Stuffs Are Sports Stadiums Shoving Into Your Faces Today?

Major League Baseball released its list of stadium foods last Thursday, and we have only one question: who the hell let Guy Fieri design every ballpark food in America? In their quest to push the boundaries of stadium food science,...
And that's how America was made!

Majority Of Americans Agree God Loves America Best

Here is some interesting news, as we U.S. Americans begin our annual weekend of getting real drunk and shooting off fireworks, due to something we read in a history book about America but can't quite remember. (Muskets were involved.)...
Is nothing sacred?

Houston Astros Hacked, Maybe Should Change Password To Something Better Than ‘LOLSPORTS’

In the Very Serious Business of grown men playing games, for money, here is another shocking tale of corruption in sports. This time, it's our nation's favorite pastime, as wholesome and pure and all-American as mom's apple pie or getting...
Come at me, bro.

Dudes Kiss On The Mouth On LA Dodgers Kiss Cam, And Nobody Even Gay-Bashes Them!

Awww, progress! If you have ever gone to see one of the various types of sportsball matches, you have undoubtedly seen a "kiss-cam." It's that thing where the camera is all of a sudden on you and your neighbor,...
Poor baby

Liberals Succeed In Dastardly Plot To Oppress Rich Sportsballer Curt Schilling

There’s no crying in baseball -- but Curt Schilling is retired now so he’s free to cry and whine and moan and play the victim all he wants. After all, that’s America’s true favorite pastime, if you’re a Republican....
I need no permission

New York Mets Allegedly Fire Lady Exec For Forming Babby Out Of Wedlock

A former executive for the New York Baseball Mets is suing Mets COO Jeff Wilpon for ALLEGEDLY firing her because she got preggers out of wedlock. Leigh Castergine was the head of the Mets' ticket sales office, and she...

Ben Shapiro Just Doesn’t Get Why These Gays Have To Ruin Sports With Politics

Whey-faced anger bear Ben Shapiro has never met an issue he could not connect to the scourge of leftism and political correctness that is ruining America for whiny, snot-nosed, privileged jerks like Ben Shapiro. Today's example: This highly unintelligent...

Awesome Manly Sportsball Sportscaster Guys Know Paternity Leave Is For Pussies

Sometimes, the level of douchenozzle that comes with being a sportsball sportscaster guy is breathtaking. Take WFAN's Mike Francesa, who is the maddest of all that baseball-flavored sportsball player Daniel Murphy, who plays for the New York Mets, got...

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Guys and Balls Edition

Are you ready for some baseball? Opening Day is upon us, which means the Gray Lady, the Paper of Record, will spend the next six months recording every up and down (mostly down) in the annual tatbir undertaken by...

George Will: As We See From Baseball, Black Dudes Have It Made

George Will, the Washington Post's moderately somnolent Guy Who Watches Baseball And Reads Thesauruses, has decided that the story of Frank Robinson is the perfect one to explain the presidential election. Obama’s administration is in shambles, yet he is prospering...

Briefly Famous Base-Ball Man John Rocker Thinks First Amendment Is Shield From Mockery

Who could forget the magical year 1999? Bill Clinton proved that it was Constitutional for the president to get a blowjob from a lady to whom he was not married, the stock market was on a nonstop rocket...

Daily Caller Troll Distracts Media From Fact That Daily Caller Also Published *History’s Greatest Column* Today

Whoever the Daily Caller's managing editor is, probably "Cactus Joe" or some such, made a pretty amateurish pacing error today. Trolling the president with a dumb question and then lying about it is great "content," yes, but not if...

Boston Sports Monsters Allegedly Boo President’s Recorded Video Message

At Red Sox game, President Obama comes on big screen to recognize Fenway's 100th anniversary, followed by loud chorus of boos.— Eric Fehrnstrom (@EricFehrn) April 20, 2012 Via email, from the Red Sox game: " just came on the Jumbotron...

Rick Santorum’s New Pitch To Voters: I Am Good At Some Sports

Rick Santorum has chosen a new strategy in his quest to win the Republican presidential nomination that he cannot mathematically win: Talkin' sports. You know, shootin' the shit with his buddies, the voters, about golf, baseball, bowling. Shooting guns....

George W. Bush Frightened By Baseball

What's that dang old George W. Bush up to these days? People used to talk about him all the time. Now? It's like we can't even remember what the deal was, with that guy. The main thing is that...

Everything Going According To Plan, According To AP

Why did Sluggo quit baseball? Who didn't shut it down? Why is there so much crack in Cairo? These are the stories making news at 3 a.m. in Washington D.C. and midnight somewhere else, maybe the West Coast. And...