May 27, 2012
bars
Minnesota’s Booze Supply Latest Horrifying Casualty of Shutdown
by Kirsten Boyd Johnson 3:51 pm July 13, 2011
NOW IT IS SERIOUS. As “the eternal winter of war” continues to defecate all over the once-pristine state of Minnesota, we are hearing terrifying news reports that Minnesota’s liquor is running out. Nobody is able get their state-issued liquor purchasing cards renewed, so we suggest that anyone still alive at this hour over there should [...]
Montana Legislator Wearing Dumb Tie Decries Drunk Driving Laws
by Jack Stuef 5:56 pm March 31, 2011
(To be fair, everyone in the Montana legislature is wearing a stupid tie. But c’mon, look at that thing.) Drunk driving is a way of life in Montana, and bars can only survive if they get their patrons drunk enough to go out and kill people? Yeah, sounds about right. [Youtube]
Incompetent D.C. Government Crooked (Also: PBR)
by Arielle Fleisher 2:51 pm March 8, 2011
It’s been a while since we’ve explored the backwards world that is D.C. politics, so here goes: Some five months ago, when bike lanes and education were still the rage, Adrian Fenty, champion of white-people causes, was Mayor of D.C. But one can only get so far when backed by the PBR lobby, and so [...]
D.C. Bar Now Wishes It Hadn’t Written That Post About Hating Mexicans
by Jack Stuef 12:00 pm January 21, 2011
Somehow we missed the update on this: That e-mail touched off a chain of responses ranging from promises to never patronize the bar again to a debate about the quality of the pub’s burgers. But then Wonkette picked up the item, and all hell broke loose on Twitter. “Dear Black Squirrel, you’re a bar. I [...]
D.C. Bar Wants You To Know It Hates Mexicans
by Jack Stuef 11:30 am January 12, 2011
Why does Adams Morgan bar The Black Squirrel have a current-affairs blog? And why does it, in between posts about sports, get political in a city where its customers are very political? The Messicans made them do it. The next time Stephen Colbert slips into his alter ego and skewers the illegal-alien issue to laughs, [...]
Christmastime Means a District of Drunken Cretins
by Cord Jefferson 10:46 pm December 13, 2010
One thing I noticed the other night, while watching a girl stumble out of Tom Tom and fall headfirst into a cop car, is that people in DC sure do love to get drunk! Not that residents of other cities don’t also like to imbibe, of course, but I’ve never seen anyone in New York [...]
Sharron Angle Talks Dirty, Sexy Politics in New Secret Teabagger Tape
by Riley Waggaman 8:30 am October 4, 2010
Scott Ashjian, Nevada’s official Tea Party candidate for Senate, had a top secret meeting with familiar Nevada wacko Sharron Angle, to brainstorm how Real Nevada can defeat Harry Reid, who represents the selfish interests of Big Fake Nevada. But oh no, someone or something recorded the secretive proceedings of this secret Nevada salon, and then [...]
Suburban Infiltration: Bridge and Tunnel Bars
by Arielle Fleisher 4:37 pm July 6, 2010
Just down the road from the Herpes Triangle sits another quaint area of popular bars where, like its neighbor, the booze runs freely, interns run wild, and new lovers of soccer go to indulge in this sport that they won’t watch again until 2014. Your likelihood of leaving with an STD and being vomited on [...]
How To Be a 20-Something In the Obama Administration
by Arielle Fleisher 12:15 pm May 4, 2010
The New York Times did some super-excellent journalism in Sunday’s magazine: an honest to God 14-page article (complete with an interactive map!) that details the eating, drinking, fornicating, and even religious habits of the 20-somethings who work in the Obama administration. As it is our job to tell you what to do in DC, as [...]
‘Real World DC’ Will Be On TeeVee Tonight!
by Arielle Fleisher 4:23 pm December 30, 2009
Famous ’90s sitcom, The Real World, makes its TeeVee debut tonight! A bunch of prudes, gays, alcoholics and racists all lived under one roof right here in Washington DC, and it was amazing. They did things like eat and drink at chain restaurants, consume large amounts of illegal drugs (probably), and when not in their [...]
There’s a quaint little area of popular, resoundingly trashy bars on M street between Connecticut and 23rd, lovingly referred to as Herpes Triangle. Here the alcohol runs freely, interns are viable bait, and the likelihood of getting alcohol poisoning, vomited upon or groped by strangers is almost guaranteed. Welcome to DC’s Mecca for drinking and [...]
Another ‘Hip’ Restaurant Opens On U Street … With a Drink Called ‘The Bailout’
by Malaka Gharib 1:40 pm March 30, 2009
Every time a restaurant in DC opens up, your Wonkette prays that it’s not another lounge-y room with house music, small plates and overpriced drinks. Policy, on U Street, opened last Saturday — and it’s got all this and more.
Chat With the Guy From Jets To Brazil @ Bourbon
by Malaka Gharib 1:09 pm February 13, 2009
Fans of Jets to Brazil, Jawbreaker and Thorns of Life, get ready to soil yourself. The bands’ own Blake Schwarzenbach is coming to DC and sitting down with folks for an intimate chat and a night of music at Bourbon.
If you want to dance to indie music and drink cheap beer all night, DC9 is the place to go. They’ve always got fantastic specials (some nights feature FREE Olde English or Red Bull & vodka), you don’t have to dress like a douchebag, and there is absolutely no chance that you will run into [...]
All The Hookers Are Now Free, For Obama’s Communist Amerika!
by Juli Weiner 3:15 pm January 16, 2009
Local street hobos are very pessimistic about the Inauguration. Hope! [DC Examiner] Good news about your Maryland bars!: those in DC will stay open until 5 AM, and those in Annapolis will stay open until 3 AM. [WTOP] Obama might not be in favor of giving DC a seat in the House, despite selfishly going [...]
