The frustrating 2008 Democratic primary season has been made even more insufferable by the Obama campaign staff’s refusal to talk smack about any of their coworkers. This leaves a bitter press corps with no fun tidbits to write about, which is why it’s still good that Hillary Clinton is in the race. Basically, Barack Obama is like the George Bush of 2000, commanding a team of eerily happy and loyal drones who will all become torture-loving yes-men once they seize the reins of power. The secrets to Barack’s success, after the jump. MORE »

According to John Zogby’s latest poll, Republican Senator John “Walnuts!” McCain is leading pretty much everywhere except in the great state of California, where conservatives want a leader with executive experience and magic underoos. MORE »

Among Democrats, nobody’s supposed to be campaigning in Florida on account of the Sunshine State angered the heavens by moving their primary up to January. Candidates pinky swore that they would leave it be, using the state like an ATM but not actually campaigning there. Now though, Hillary looks like she’s had a change of heart, looking to use the a Miami convention center for a forbidden rally. Now the campaigns are exchanging memos, arguing about who is doing the least in Florida as per their agreement. A debate about out who’s better at doing nothing might prove to be pretty competitive ground for a couple of Democratic senators. [Miami Herald]

• To defend her war vote, Hillary Clinton is making shit up. [New York Times]
• Romney embraces his Michigan roots because that’s pretty much his only option. [New York Times]
• McCain has alienated some of the best members of the Republican Party. [Washington Post]
• Vegas politics are as weird as the rest of it. [Washington Post]
• The people who give Fred Thompson his money kind of think he should “do something.”[Washington Times]
• Members of Congress really like their Geocities websites. [The Hill]
• The Decider decided not to talk about democracy all that much on his trip to Israel. Go figure. [Wall Street Journal]

• The only thing Hillary has going for her is tears, huh? [Wizbang Politics]
• Huck likes to call people up and share his opinions with them! [TPM]
• Here’s a whole bunch of silly things about Barack Obama that aren’t true, but did you know that he’s Kenyan? [Carpetbagger Report]
• Mom and Dad want to talk to George about his allowance. [Swamp Politics]
• White people can’t help but say silly racist things. [Left Coaster]
• John McCain is an illegal immigrant. [Redstate]
• The government wants to control the temperature of you’re house. [WorldNet Daily]
• Dana Carvey still does impressions. [IMAO]

• A dramatic, inside account about how Hillary lost Iowa. Hint: the black man. [Washington Post]
• What if the polls weren’t wrong and Hillary used her witch magic? [Washington Post]
• It took him long enough, but Tony Blair finally got a job. [New York Times]
• The guy who broke the law in in ordering the torture tapes destroyed wants immunity from the law before he’ll talk about what he did. [CNN]
• Fred Thompson doesn’t need help to shoot himself in the foot, but he’s trying anyway. [Politico]
• Can Romney win his home state? We’re guessing no! [Los Angeles Times]

• Justices like killing people just they have have been, thank you very much. [New York Times]
• They can’t beat her but they’re glad that someone can. [Washington Post]
• Yes, maybe another one of your brilliant ideas is just what’s necessary to fix the mess you’ve made. [New York Times]
• Mittens may be back in this thing, y’all. [Washington Times]
• The Grand Council of Wealthy White Men will spend whatever it takes to destroy populism, where ever it rears its ugly head. [Los Angeles Times]
• In New Hampshire, Huck babbles like a crazy person. [Politico]
• Come on, who doesn’t want to set the Senate on fire? [Roll Call]

• Ron Paul is a pusher. [Huffington Post]
• Rudy’s VP pick will be available to take the position. [Think Progress]
• Hooray for fair, even coverage. [Michelle Malkin]
• Holding out hope that a beautiful phoenix will rise from the cold ashes of a campaign that never was. [Redstate]
• There is an Iowan excited about the caucus and who could have guessed that she’s single. [Daily Dish]
• Romney just wants everyone to stay home tonight. [The Page]
• Richardson throws his caucus supporters to Barrack Obama. But who will be Vice President now? [Political Wire]

While the prohibition on black presidents has been (temporarily) repealed, presidents have not been allowed to be smokers for nearly half a century — JFK learned the hard way in Dallas, one of the earliest fanatical non-smoking cities. MORE »

Haunting new revelations show that Barry Obama secretly attended a madrassa in Los Angeles, the so-called “Occidental” (which means Middle Eastern Muslim) College in the eastside neighborhood of Eagle Rock. Occidental is a perfectly respectable liberal-arts college with a real pretty campus, actually, and Obama went there for two years before transferring to Columbia. But for some reason, the college doesn’t show up on his official biography. Why the secret shame? MORE »