Tag: barney frank

Send Your Fundie Sister Some Hope On A Rope Soap This War On Christmas Season!

"You could stay in the alley behind my Burbank soap factory," the lady was saying in the Wonkette comments. It didn't seem a better offer was coming in for places in Los Angeles to park the Wonkette Mobile Command...

If You Don’t Have Anything Nice To Say About Republicans, Come Sit Next To Barney Frank!

The fabulous former Massachusetts Congresshero Barney Frank -- who is not known for saying how he really feels about Republicans, bigoted colleagues who "accidentally" call him a fag, whackjobs who compare President Obama to Nazis, and especially Newt Gingrich...

How We Stopped Worrying And Learned To Love Gay-Baiting Aaron Schock

The internet is abuzz with the resignation of fresh-faced congressbottom Aaron Schock, mired as he has been in allegations of ethics violation after ethics violation after gay ethics violation. We are sure we will find out more in coming...

Henry Waxman Leaving Congress, Has Had Enough Of Your Crap

Well, nuts, this is a genuine, bona fide Moment of Sad: after 20 terms in the House of Representatives, liberal healthcare superhero Henry Waxman and his unfortunate teeth announced today that he'll be retiring at the end of his...

Congress Trying Pot Again

In big fat "can we just got on with this now" marijuana news, members of Congress introduced a bill this week to legalize pot on the federal level, and tax and regulate it like alcohol. Congressmen Jared Polis (D-Rocky...

Barney Frank Talks To Table

It is sort of hard to hear what Barney Frank is saying here, when asked if he would take an appointment to John Kerry's Senate seat from Massachusetts, because he lisps -- YEAH, WE SAID IT -- so we...

‘Confirmed Bachelor’ Barney Frank, 72, Was Just Waiting For Right 30-Years-Younger Boy Toy

Here is a lovely thing about gay dudes: they really want their lovers to be happy. And that is why Jim Ready was pretty much pushed into retiring Massachusetts Congressman Barney Frank's lecherous old arms by his own dying...

Latest Furious Kindergarten House Debate Ends In… A Passed Jobs Bill?

Whoa hey what the hell: The House of Representatives, the envelope-pushing absurdist sitcom that ended the laughtrack era, passed a "jobs bill" called the JOBS (an acronym for "who cares") Bill with bipartisan support and 390 billion votes. Finally,...

America Faints Upon Sight of Barney Frank’s Hard Nipples

What, were people scandalized or something? SEXISTS, ALL OF THEM.

Ron Paul Starts ‘R3VOLUTION’ With Marijuana Legalization Bill

To the delight of microwaveable snack industry executives nationwide, sex god Ron Paul and other sex god Barney Frank are introducing the nation's first "HOW ABOUT WE FINALLY LEGALIZE THE MARY-JUANA" bill, which, eh, probably has no chance, but...

Barney Frank Defends Gay Showers

Cut this guy a break, Barney Frank. He's never showered near any other human. It's icky.

Congressional Candidate: Gays=Short People

Republican congressional candidate Sean Bielat has a simple logic problem for you here: If men shorter than 5'2" can't serve in military combat, why should gays get to? "I don't see anybody protesting. Where are the people standing in...

Barney Frank Finally Debated That LaRouche Hitler Lady

Last night, Barney Frank actually sat down next to and debated that LaRouchite Rachel Brown, whom he once compared to a dining room table and is now running against. She has lots of crazy signs, you will remember. Frank,...

Newspaper Editor Openly Offended By Barney Frank’s Openly Gay Lifestyle

The editor of the Boardman News -- which outshines even the New York Times in producing coverage specific to Boardman, Ohio -- appended this note to a letter sent in by the local Democratic Party chairman, about Massachusetts Congressman...

Rachel Brown Is Your ELITIST Crazy Congressional Candidate

Are you sick of the humdrum of the usual crazy candidates you've seen this summer on your Wonkette? Are they too poor for you? Are they too populist? Are they too unwilling to give campaign speeches immediately following a...

Congress To Maybe Legalize Online Gambling For Your Uncle Ron

Congress likes to spend money. But sometimes they also think, "Wait, do we have any money?" And then they come up with an idea to make themselves a cool $20 or so, and then they get back to spending...