May 27, 2012
barney frank
Latest Furious Kindergarten House Debate Ends In… A Passed Jobs Bill?
by Jim Newell 2:45 pm March 8, 2012
Whoa hey what the hell: The House of Representatives, the envelope-pushing absurdist sitcom that ended the laughtrack era, passed a “jobs bill” called the JOBS (an acronym for “who cares”) Bill with bipartisan support and 390 billion votes. Finally, the modest regulatory tweaks to certain small business’ capital formation processes that Americans have been clamoring [...]
America Faints Upon Sight of Barney Frank’s Hard Nipples
by Kirsten Boyd Johnson 12:41 pm December 20, 2011
What, were people scandalized or something? SEXISTS, ALL OF THEM. [Animated gif via Wonkette operative "Nathan R."]
Ron Paul Starts ‘R3VOLUTION’ With Marijuana Legalization Bill
by Kirsten Boyd Johnson 3:10 pm June 23, 2011
To the delight of microwaveable snack industry executives nationwide, sex god Ron Paul and other sex god Barney Frank are introducing the nation’s first “HOW ABOUT WE FINALLY LEGALIZE THE MARY-JUANA” bill, which, eh, probably has no chance, but maybe now America can Have a Conversation about the “drug war,” which is not actually a [...]
Cut this guy a break, Barney Frank. He’s never showered near any other human. It’s icky. [Media Matters via everyone]
Congressional Candidate: Gays=Short People
by Jack Stuef 4:25 pm October 25, 2010
Republican congressional candidate Sean Bielat has a simple logic problem for you here: If men shorter than 5’2″ can’t serve in military combat, why should gays get to? “I don’t see anybody protesting. Where are the people standing in front of the White House, the short guys standing in front of the White House? You [...]
Barney Frank Finally Debated That LaRouche Hitler Lady
by Jack Stuef 5:36 pm September 8, 2010
Last night, Barney Frank actually sat down next to and debated that LaRouchite Rachel Brown, whom he once compared to a dining room table and is now running against. She has lots of crazy signs, you will remember. Frank, surprisingly, came out against the position that Obama is Hitler and that America should immediately colonize [...]
Newspaper Editor Openly Offended By Barney Frank’s Openly Gay Lifestyle
by Lauri Apple 9:23 am August 20, 2010
The editor of the Boardman News — which outshines even the New York Times in producing coverage specific to Boardman, Ohio — appended this note to a letter sent in by the local Democratic Party chairman, about Massachusetts Congressman Barney Frank destroying the moral fabric of their town with his public displays of gayness. Maybe [...]
Rachel Brown Is Your ELITIST Crazy Congressional Candidate
by Jack Stuef 12:56 pm August 13, 2010
Are you sick of the humdrum of the usual crazy candidates you’ve seen this summer on your Wonkette? Are they too poor for you? Are they too populist? Are they too unwilling to give campaign speeches immediately following a classical piano recital? Meet Rachel Brown, running against Barney Frank for Congress in Massachusetts’ 14th District. [...]
Congress To Maybe Legalize Online Gambling For Your Uncle Ron
by Jack Stuef 12:37 pm July 29, 2010
Congress likes to spend money. But sometimes they also think, “Wait, do we have any money?” And then they come up with an idea to make themselves a cool $20 or so, and then they get back to spending lots of money. We are witness to one such idea right now. Though they banned it [...]
Barney Frank’s Partner Gives Drunk Eye Doctor Ladies What-For On Airplane
by Jim Newell 1:59 pm April 13, 2010
Barney Frank and his partner were flying back from their gay vacation in California the other day when who did they run into on the plane, oh god, a couple of drunk ophthalmologist sisters being obnoxious from a few seats away. We’ve all been there. These mean drunk doctor ladies were harassing Barney Frank, and, [...]
Latest Capitol Hill Anti-HCR Rally Running Smoothly, Politely
by Jim Newell 4:32 pm March 20, 2010
Today’s protesters had a nickname for Barney Frank! “Just after Frank rounded a corner to leave the building, an older protester yelled ‘Barney, you faggot.’ The surrounding crowd of protesters then erupted in laughter.” What else? Ah, yes: famous black civil rights leader Rep. John Lewis is black. They had a nickname for him, too! [...]
John Boehner Insults Those People Who Are Fun To Insult: Hill Staffers
by Jim Newell 2:46 pm March 18, 2010
John Boehner did one of the more Republican things ever yesterday: while meeting with the American Bankers Association to discuss their Evil Plan to kill financial reform, he told them, “Don’t let those little punk staffers take advantage of you and stand up for yourselves.” KNOW YOUR RIGHTS, FINANCIAL SERVICES INDUSTRY! This did not sit [...]
BARNEY FRANK IS TERRIFIED: Fun idea for today: if you live in Barney Frank’s district, it’s apparently very easy to call him up and chat today. It sounds like he’s really going out of his way to try and kill any health care reform now, which is odd, since there are still viable options on [...]
No One On Television Has Ever Smoked Marijuana, It Is True
by Jim Newell 3:39 pm November 10, 2009
You may have seen this already, but goodness gracious, marijuana is the devil’s weed and no one on CNN (or Barney Frank) has ever spent a nickel on it! This is very similar to how Washington pundits condemn anyone for ever having sex — including David Letterman, and he’s in New York City! — unless [...]
Michael Bloomberg Seeks A Third Term As Mayor Of Tennessee, And Marco Rubio Calls Republicans ‘Uppity’
by Riley Waggaman 4:42 pm October 8, 2009
It’s official: Poo poo platter BILL O’REILLY wants to finger-bang the snot out of Minnesota Medusa MICHELE BACHMANN. Say no, Michele! You have a husband, a family — What would your son GRENDEL think? Baby Jesus himself would probably have a hernia. But Bill has a certain charm to him and he’s so soft and [...]
