Tag Archives: barbara walters

  Here have some news n stuff

Jeb Bush Will Fight Gay Marriage Forever! Or Until He Changes His Mind

Me is the president I have been waiting for!
Jeb! Bush doesn’t care what the Supreme Court says about gay marriage. At the Faith and Freedom Coalition funtimes party last week, he promised religious conservatives he’d fight against equality FOREVER AND EVER, because Jesus said you don’t have to love your neighbor if he is A Gay: Read more on Jeb Bush Will Fight Gay Marriage Forever! Or Until He Changes His Mind…
  sexy obits

RIP Edward Brooke, First Black Senator Since Reconstruction, First Black Dude Barbara Walters Boned

Edward Brooke, the first black U.S. senator since Reconstruction, has died. He was a Republican like they used to make ’em: urged Nixon to resign, supported public housing and school busing (in Massachusetts!) and the ERA, sexed up Barbara Walters. You know: the good old days! Read more on RIP Edward Brooke, First Black Senator Since Reconstruction, First Black Dude Barbara Walters Boned…
  media circus

Barbara Walters Is 84, Owns A Vibrator. And?

This week, Barbara Walters told us about her vibrator. (The last time we paid attention to Barbara Walters, which apparently was 2007, she was recommending a specific brand of lube.) But BARBARA WALTERS IS 84 YEARS OLD!!!1! Now you have to think about old ladee vaginas!!!1! Good. Let us take you by the hand and help you through these troubling times. Read more on Barbara Walters Is 84, Owns A Vibrator. And?…
  true lies

Mean Girl Barbara Walters Makes Rielle Hunter Eat Her Terrible Lies

You know what we at Wonkette don’t care about? Whether or not you want to read about and/or watch Rielle Hunter. We find everything about her, from the top of her shining golden head to the bottom of her doubtlessly temporary-henna-tattooed soles, freaking fascinating. Here, thanks to the good folks at Buzzfeed, is poor misunderstood Rielle (“I’m not a mistress! I’m a mom!”) just getting hammered by the Greek Chorus standing in for all of us, on The View. They do not care for her husband-stealing, or her trashing of Elizabeth Edwards, or her general nonsense vacuity in general. And for what else do they not care? Dudes, she lied on Barbara Walters. Read more on Mean Girl Barbara Walters Makes Rielle Hunter Eat Her Terrible Lies…
  journamalism

We Need To Harsh on Barbara Walters For a Minute

Here is a fun behind-the-scenes glimpse from the nauseating world of sycophantic television journalism*: leaked emails show that the normally-benign daytime tube fixture Barbara Walters tried to help a 22-year-old press aide to murder-hungry Syrian despot Bashar al-Assad obtain preferential treatment with the Columbia University Admissions Office shortly after Walters conducted her interview with Assad, which the aide helped to arrange. Conflict of interest much? Nah. This must be why Walters also offered to help the press aide, Sheherazad Jaafari, obtain a “journalism internship with Piers Morgan,” which then again sounds like such a transparently fake position that we might even hope Walters was trying to prank Jaafari. *Journalism of any kind is not to be confused with “humor blogging,” a basic distinction that nonetheless eludes the crabby wingnuts who frequently write in to your Wonkette to notify us that our “reporting” is “biased.” Read more on We Need To Harsh on Barbara Walters For a Minute…
  only him and a few species of fish

Lucky Obama: ‘I Don’t Think About Sarah Palin’

Barack Obama readily admits that he lives in a bubble. Obviously, this has some distinct disadvantages for Understanding The People (as if “the people” ever provide a coherent opinion between them), and the idea has negative connotations. But it is also in many ways a good thing. Like, at some point he was able to tell his aides he understands who the Teabaggers are and doesn’t need to hear them blather on about their hatred of the words “socialism” and “black” and “green vegetable.” But also, there’s this: “When asked specifically if he thinks he can beat Sarah Palin in 2012, the president told Walters ‘I don’t think about Sarah Palin.'” Must be nice to live in that bubble. Read more on Lucky Obama: ‘I Don’t Think About Sarah Palin’…
  you check your blood sugar and you check it often

President Obama To Become President of Daytime Teevee

Barack Obama is going to be on The View on Thursday, because he is not too popular now, and he was popular in 2008 when he was on that show last, so certainly viewers who don’t have jobs and commercials for cleaning products are the magic he needs to get back that ’08 touch. According to Barbara Walters, THIS IS HISTORY, as no sitting president has wasted his time on daytime television before. Read more on President Obama To Become President of Daytime Teevee…
  book tours you don't come back from

Sarah Palin Probably Does Not Feel Bad For Barbara Walters, But She Should

Barbara Walters: So. You in this for the money or the Presidency? Sarah Palin: Barbara it is impossible to say what will happen in 2012 because it’s going to happen in 2012. Ha, oh Barbara, don’t you understand? That’s the thing about the future: it’s in advance. Read more on Sarah Palin Probably Does Not Feel Bad For Barbara Walters, But She Should…
  lies and lying trash

John McCain Buried In Pile Of Angry ‘View’ Hosts

What is the world coming to when the ladies on The View ask John McCain the toughest questions he’s gotten in weeks? And yet even these hardened journalists don’t follow up on one of his most infuriating talking points of this whole infuriating campaign, which is that he had to start running ads that were complete utter laughable bullshit lies because Obama didn’t want to debate him as often as McCain would have liked. This is akin to saying, “I was forced to smother your house in a truckload of diarrhea because you wouldn’t answer my phone calls.” Anyhow, here he is, squirming despicably. [Huffington Post] Read more on John McCain Buried In Pile Of Angry ‘View’ Hosts…
  old coots

Violent Old FEMA Coot Wants To Be Famous!

Readers may remember the sad tale of Vincent Koley, the 74-year-old FEMA contractor who, while on a relief dispatch to flooded Iowa, hit some guy with his car and then beat him up with a golf club, all the while claiming that he could do as he pleased because he was “with FEMA.” Koley has denied saying that last part and says that the story is “all wrong,” except for such minor details as him hitting a guy with his car and then beating him up with golf clubs. But Koley remains in good spirits despite “all that,” because this modicum of local/Internet fame might finally get him into showbiz! Hollywood pitchers and the like! Read more on Violent Old FEMA Coot Wants To Be Famous!…
  world leaders

Michelle Obama Talks Pantyhose On The Most Important Television Show Of Our Time, ‘The View’

This is the most crucial segment of Michelle Obama’s amazing visit to The View, in which the ladies discuss Mrs. Obama’s fierce guns, Whoopi Goldberg congratulates her for having teeth without gold around them, and Barbara Walters bitches about pantyhose. Then Michelle tells a cute story about her ten-year-old daughter, who can’t pass any laws. [RedLasso] Read more on Michelle Obama Talks Pantyhose On The Most Important Television Show Of Our Time, ‘The View’…
 

WONKETTE ON CNN, THIS AFTERNOON Your Wonkette editor Jim Newell will be on CNN at 1 p.m. Eastern, today at some point, talking about … Barbara Walters having a sex affair with a Republican senator in the 1970s! Read more on …
 

Old Barbara Walters Had Sex Affair With Old Black Republican Senator, In The 1970s

Forty years ago, twice-divorced teevee gal Barbara Walters was happily getting it on with a Republican senator from Massachusetts. Not only was Edward Brooke the first straight Republican politician, but he was also the first black man elected to the U.S. Senate. You know, that is racial transcendence. “Baba Wawa” reveals all the horny ’70s details on Oprah Winfrey’s show next week, and we’ll all be watching. But because we won’t, here’s what supposedly happened. Read more on Old Barbara Walters Had Sex Affair With Old Black Republican Senator, In The 1970s…
 

Chris Matthews Defends His ‘Hillary Studies’ Scholarship

newVideoPlayer("Mathews_Responds_Snapper.flv", 475, 376,""); Three days after Hillary’s surprise victory in New Hampshire, the media consensus is that it was Chris “Rangoon” Matthews‘ fault, because he’s a misogynist. On today’s edition of Morning Joe, MSNBC continued its navel-gazing by getting Matthews’ response to the ladies of The View. Barbara Walters et al. had called Matthews’ insinuation that Hillary is running because Bill “messed around” inappropriate and vaguely sexist. But according to Matthews, that’s historical fact, unfuckwithable, not open to discussion, GAME OVER MAN. Read more on Chris Matthews Defends His ‘Hillary Studies’ Scholarship…
 

Rumors On The Internets: Tenacious AG, The Dick of Destiny

* The sooner old Al gets the boot the sooner we get Attorney General Patrick Fitzgerald. [Above the Law] * Fox News reporters in Afghanistan think American soldiers there are “motherfuckers.” [Nitpicker] * Tomorrow’s concertless anti-war protest will be opposed by similarly music-free pro-war rally, neither of which anyone gives a shit about. [Jawa Report] * The rambling political thoughts of Donald J. Trump. [The Swamp] * Bill Clinton bashes the New York Times for using the kid gloves on Obama and the lead-weighted ones on Hillary. [Horse’s Mouth] * But he’s not talking about his brackets. [Freep (2nd Item)] * Tune into 20/20 tonight for a lispy tribute to Hugo Chavez. [Business & Media] Read more on Rumors On The Internets: Tenacious AG, The Dick of Destiny…
 

Gossip Roundup: Be Our Guest

Reliable Source: Matt Lauer hosts a dinner at Cafe Milano for Meredith Vieira… Sales of Ann Coulter’s new book are strong… Alberto Gonzales denies that his children download music illegally. [WP] Read more on Gossip Roundup: Be Our Guest…