Guess what Jenna Bush is getting for Christmas? The love and awe of some Buenos Aires guy in a trucker cap who maybe makes $400 a month. Hooray for romance! It knows no boundaries!

Wonkette operative “Bill” has mysterious business ties with Argentina, which is why he keeps up with whatever the Bush Twins are doing down there. He translated a chunk of this article that reveals way too much about Ramiro González Palazzo and how impressed he is that a woman is allowed to have a credit card.

You know you want it, and it’s after the jump.

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* Have ridiculous political views? Dying for attention? Don’t waste time starting a blog — call C-SPAN and loudly hurl insults at Jimmy Carter. [Think Progress]
* Brooklyn hipsters who spot Barbara Bush out drinking can’t decide between whether to “vomit on” or “hate fuck” her. [Williamsboard]
* Giant pink house conspires with illegal Guatemalans to keep Mitt Romney out of giant White House. [DCeiver]
* Bloggers who post their “enemies list” — including recently elected members of Congress who haven’t had a day on the job yet — need to switch to decaf. [The Blogometer]
* The Corner bloggers’ had the delusional idea that Rick Santorum will replace Bolton. [The Corner]
* Hank Paulson: administration coffin nailer. [Robert Reich]

Last week, “mercado libre,” the Argentinian eBay, featured a quickly-removed auction for Barbara Bush’s stolen cell phone. The auction started at 1,000 pesos, and the seller jokingly declared that the phone would be delivered to the winner by Osama bin Laden himself. MORE »

Finally, an American expat in Argentina blogs up the dirt on the endlessly fascinating theft of young Barbara Bush’s purse. We can now provide the following shocking details from a retired DC/NYC newspaperman:

* The purse-snatching took place at some huge bar/restaurant in the “hip San Telmo district.”
* It’s apparently spring in Argentina; rich girls can just skip winter altogether.
* The purse-snatching thieves are known as Porteños, which is Spanish for “purse snatchers.” (UPDATE FOR CERTAIN READERS: THAT’S A JOKE.)

Lots more hot Argentine action, after the jump.

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Here’s your BREAKING UPDATE on the Bush Twins’ Argentine Adventure, featuring abandoned presidential daughters and possible assassination attempts:

Barbara made headlines last week when she was robbed in a Buenos Aires restaurant; somebody apparently made off with her purse and cell phone. Secret Service agents claimed they “remotely erased” the mobile’s memory, thus denying America the naked drunken Bush Twins photos we so desperately need in these dark times. (But there’s no reason to believe the twins’ Secret Service detail, as the agents didn’t even notice the purse-snatching, because they were too busy being savagely beaten in the streets.)

Unfazed by the chaos and crime, the sisters continued their rampage because they were celebrating their 25th birthdays — and possibly preparing an escaped-Nazi-style South American lair for their soon-to-be deposed father. Lots more, after the jump.

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Jenna and Barbara are being tossed out of Argentina — not by the actual country, but by the pissed-off U.S. diplomats in Buenos Aires. MORE »

ABC reports that Barbara Bush was the victim of a purse-snatcher in Buenos Aires, Argentina. In the middle of a restaurant, right under the noses of the Secret Service. Who’ve been having troubles of their own: MORE »

Now that the midterm elections are behind us, Wonkette can get back to our true purpose: obsessive analysis of the Bush Twins’ drinking habits. Today, IvyGate directs us to a couple photos of Barbara tailgating at Saturday’s Yale-Princeton game. With a red cup always in hand — and, more importantly (and highlighted at right), an additional beer in her back pocket — Jenna demonstrates, as IvyGate puts it, “true Bush-caliber commitment to drinking.” MORE »

Exploiting inter-personal power dynamics to one’s advantage is what Washington is all about — Neil Bush knows it and has mastered the art. And while John Negroponte takes it one day at a time, Mark Warner and John King get bossed around by their kids. These, plus Ken Mehlman on his downward spiral, using Google Earth to find Barbara Bush, and avoiding the notorious Evan Bayh stink-palm, behind the curtain.

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If lame Arsenio Hall gags from the 1980s are no longer permitted, then America has truly died. MORE »

August in DC has that ghost town feel, everyone’s gone - except the people wishing they were, and Senator Ron Wyden, who’s a little confused about where he should be on what days. Also, Dick Cheney, since he’s a robot, doesn’t need vacation and instead just continues to consume information. The Bush family, however, knows that when you take time off you really want to be able to relax - so Barbara Bush makes sure to travel with someone who’ll take care of Millie’s little messes on the beach.

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